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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
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Cheezburger Network Blog
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
Cheezburger Network Blog
i brunged u a gift from abu dabi – ME!
Nermal, FTW!
oh man – worlds cutest kitten strikes AGAIN !!!
Abu Dabi Ikea not got kitteh eers eithah!
I can’t believe someone else remembers this joke. Abu Dabi, that’s where you’ll go!
funny, we can’t beleefs enyone cud furgit it!
Abu Dabi Kamelmale Shlipping Co. boxez broked in teh tranzits. NAWTtsogrtaktually. I can haz nekstday airmalestampz plz? Kthksabudabibuy.
Pls 2 b usin moar pakkin mateereals nxt tyme k tx…oy…
Oh, man – it’s all bent owt of shape an crumpuld. An whers teh spanner?
Oh hai mah earz on bakordr 2…plz luk for nudder box sentz frum dif warehauz.
Packin slp sez: EEARZ SHIPD SEPERITLY
NEWS: Today, Ikea announced a massive recall of all Floorgenkittehsnorglebutt units ordered between June and August 10th due to reports of missing, mismatched, or misshapen ear parts. Please contact them at borkenkittehs.com for more information.
WIN!!!!
nuh uh!! borkenkittehs iz 404!! SarahD iz messin wi-. . . oh. ai getz it.
LOLZ
O, iz luvlee pozt, but I wuz reelee ruutin fr teh Aikeeya Katz laiyn tu b kalld “snurli”
Mebbe Katz laiyn haz colur selectchin? Kin git teh Floorgenkittehsnorglebutt in snurli, floof, toez, smoo, poit, poopin, rawr …
Ai wants 1 Floorgenkittehsnorglebutt in snurli & 1 Floorgenkittehsnorglebutt in smoo! U tinks earz backordrd on dem?
Not shur – has 2 chek werehaus. Buh we has ovvrstok uf teh Floorgenkittehsnorglebutt in poopin! U want 1 in poopin? Haf-price!
O hai? Aikeeya Kat dipartmint? Yez, I b callin bowt teh ordur u shipd tu meh reesutnlee. I b’leev I ordurd teh snurli kolor, but dis lukz laik moar uva surli. Or snarli. … No, I wantz tu keep, but I jest wantz tu noe if dere b kozt difurenz? O, awlso, kitteh iz sayin ur pakin fr teh shipn iz veree du nawt want.
I thinkz dis is Snurli’s bruvver Hurli. He luks like he gonna…*kack*
U iz rite. Snurli is teh purfekt naem for teh Aikeeya Katz. I laffs evuree tiem I seez it.
snurlis beez teh newest modul uv borkenkittehs. dey kumz wif innerchanjbul tayles ‘n’ eerz so’z yoo kin haz kittehs in menneemennee kulur kombinayshuns. dey is onlee ‘vaylbul on intertubes fer naow.
OWN!
Poke sum holez in teh bocks next tiem!
der wez 10 fragul stikers on da box.
Teh stikkers tell teh postle wurkers wich bocks to sqwish 1st.
haha!
N how miny tymz to skwersh itz – 10 stikerz meenz skwersh 10 tymz!
dat’s why wen postle wurkers send pakerjez day rites “trow undahand” naot “fragile”.
dey damajeed mah guds
please do not spindle, fold or mutilate kitten while shipping
OK – everyone who actually knows what do not spindle means… raise your hands. How many actually used one? I thought so. Why do we still say it?
I’ve seen “fold, staple. or mutiliate” in some circumstances – it’s an interesting archaism, tho – like the blotter.
It used to make a great murder weapon for the crime novelists!! I can think of a couple of golden-age novels where the victim was offed in the office with a spindle…
The murder angle was one of the reasons OSHA really really frowns on spindles. People used to have accidents and skewer their hands….. Main point though, was the post office was never known for spindling the mail…. Spindling was done in an office, after the mail was opened. And I doubt the PO ever admitted to deliberately mutilating a parcel.
For those who didn’t know the answer, a spindle is that spike thing on a base that used to be used commonly in offices to hold loose paper, you sort of stabbed the paper on to it. Some of them were vicious looking. The only place I have seen one recently was the video rental store, and it had a blunt tip.
Now, how many cash registers do you hear nowadays that actually make a ka-ching sound? The old adding machines and cash registers with the pull handle like a slot machine weren’t even in use anywhere anymore when I was a teen, yet we still use ka-ching as a money sound.
I’m easily entertained, aren’t I? And esoteric. Thus endeth today’s lesson.
D4MN DMarie you are just FULL of esoteric info – I LOVE IT !!! I never knew what that actually meant and never thought about it either – you mean the kind of spike places use for receipts?
Yep, that’s a spindle. Now imagine a really big heavy one, with a very sharp point. It was the precursor (now there’s a word I don’t get to use often) to the in-basket. Seriously, I just can’t stand seeing a word I don’t understand, I have to look them up, find out where they came from, etc.. Its an illness, I guess. My great aunt had a home office and still used a spindle and an old adding machine in 60’s, so I expect they went out of style sometime in the 40’s or 50’s. She’s another story for another time….. I’ll save her for some cute picture of a kitteh in a garden….she was a SCARY woman.
Zakly. Where do you go that still spikes receets on a spindle? Old fashuned blue-plaet-speshul kind of dinur?
… you’re like ed ruscha’s ‘information man’ ;o)
It would be nice if sometime a man would come up to me on the street and say, “Hello, I’m the information man, and you have not said the word ‘yours’ for thirteen minutes. You have not said the word ‘praise’ for eighteen days, three hours and nineteen minutes” – Edward Ruscha, Information Man
ed ruscha! FTW!! Dats Y I <3 ICHC! Evvrbody’s in da know!!!
An we use 2 call teh spindle the “stabby thing.” Rite werd 4 teh rite job!
Yes, exactly. My favorite blue-plate-special kind of diner (“where the waitresses still call you ‘Hon’, and the cooks actually *cook*”) has a spindle by the cash register for the bills. I don’t know how sharp it is, but nobody has any trouble spiking things on it.
oh, dmarie, yu shudn’t ob towd dem so easily–shud ob mayde dem werk fur it.
(yu meen peeps didn’t NOES whut a spindle wuz? damn, i keep furgetting i owd. bery bery owd.)
We’z nawt owd, jus fuzzier!
Izz meny spndels in bahnk were Eye werks. Und inn usez!
Way back in the day, when I had hair, the return payment advice for utility bills were 72-column punch cards. They always had “Do not fold, bend, spindle, or mutilate” printed on them was so the old computers could process the payment. Methinks the wording was boilerplate from IBM (who invented the punch card and made KP26’s and KP29’s to punch the cards). My siblings and I would take cruel pleasure in punching extra holes in the punch card before our folks sent in the payment. Or we did until there was a massive power failure in the ‘hood, and at our ages (11 and below) we were convinced that our altered punch cards called it.
Throughout the blackout, our big ole orange cat protected us from mousies and bugs.
see what happens when you scr3w with big blue? they probably still have a file on you somewhere ;o)
Naaah, Big Blue sold my file to Lenovo. It’s why I don’t have a ThinkPad.
In teh Brittin, we cawled dos teh “spikes”. U seez Y?
I also wunders – okeh, mebbe the “fold, spindle” part averted some damage to papur things – but who luked at teh notis and sed, “oh, darn, I wuz gonna mutilate dis an now I gess I betur not.” Silleh, rilleh.
Wuz also 4 puter holey punch crds what uzd 2 b uzd in puter crd reedr. If mor hols than spoZed to be punched, puter wood have hrbls.
I once worked at a job where I mailed photographs. We had a stamp for the envelopes that said “Photographs Do Not bend” which always made me think “Yes they do, allow me to demonstrate…”
When you went to a Garage Sale, did you rap on the walls and look around and say “Nice Garage, How much are you asking for it?” Temptation, temptation.
Noze, but I haz fot “mi car’z gotz boot” on seein sign “carz bootz salez”.
I Knowes! Uzed it at teh restaraumant I borked at when I was teh fibe yearz old. Yup, laborz lawz iz naow a good fing.
FRAJEEEEEEELAAAAYYY
mus be french kitteh
Christmas Story referunse FTW!
oooh, doan evar use teh werds “disgruntled” adn “postal” in teh saem sentince!
fer sure! if kitteh “gone postal” u best hit the deck!
Speakin of hit the deck … hey, Burgers … u guyz gonna be K, what wit Flossie headin ur way???
(Bein in FL, i sympathize!)
Ooh yeah, Burgers, pleez be safe! Let us all know how it goes with Flossie!
Hey guyz….herricanez yu kan prepare for…..what bout dat earthshake??? Burgerz…..let us kno yu r ok, ok?
Iz been in hirrycaynz in NC, butz ai waz mor inland. Der’s no inland in HA so bolten down da hatches mates! Let us know wen itz ober & u guyz r OK.
Ooh, yez, TB and CB – stay dry an be safe, yu and all yer famileez, furree an othurwyze!! We luvs yu!
Meno, yoo tired yet of watchin the wedder guyz have hissyfits ober dat tropical storm wayyyy out in da oshun?
Dey are soooo hopun dat we getz a hurrycane close to da US…Jim Cantore and all da local guyz is alreddy pakked and reddy to stand out inna storm….supposably to keep us safe.
Pffft. Whatevah!
Hey, mai fellow Floridians! ‘member a yer or so ago, teh Wedder Chanil wuz doin ther thing in sum wind-batterd place or ‘nuther, an won guy said: “Whatever u do … doan send Jim Cantore! If we see him comin, we noes we’re in trubbl!” He LIVES for dat stuff!
Yeh, I remembur – it wuz Katrina, an it wuz a hotel staffur that sed it – shortly befor Jim Cantoree arrivd…an everbudy eltse left!! Funnee!
I tink I remembur seein dat. I hadda stop watchin da nooz fur a few weekz aftah Katrina, but I pritti shur I saw dat.
We’s glooed to da Wedder Chanil til November, cuz dats wen hurrycain seeson ends an we know we’s saef til Joon.
Not nessessarilee. Dere is such a fing as December hurrycanes. DO NOT WANT1!!
lulz… Yep, nother Floridian heer. I tink dey all be boreded cuz dis been such an uneevintfull hurricaen sezon so far.
Me, I not wurried. Waek meh up when it be heer.
dont SEY dat!
No kiddun — quiet iz gud!
My kitten has futball praktiss dis tyme of yeer — we wuz sayin lass nite dat yoo knows yoo been in Florida a long tyme when yoo seez a tropical storm formin on da teebee and yer first thot is “woo…da hyoomidity is gonna go down fer a few daze…meks it feel a liddul cooler” instedda “ZOMG! A TROPICAL STORM!”
nxt i go siking in death vallie desert!!!!!
… an u mite wanna use a moist cloth to unfold dem earz n unscrunch dat fayce … poor bebbeh!
U gest try 2 wrap me!
If u doan stop it, ur faec will stick lyk dat!
I IZ PRINSESS AN TEH PEE. LULZ.
Wid mah kittehs, it WUD be “teh pee” an not “teh pea”, unforchunatlee.
Wif kittehs, it always be teh pee. Allllways teh pee.
Not so grate, ackshully.
This wasn’t the color I ordered! It’ll never match my ugly pillow. On the other hand, it goes well with the bedspread…
judging by the lamp, it ‘could’ be a non-gratuituous use of ironic throw pillow… the type of throw pillow where you think “oh, this is cute” until one day you grab it and run for the trash…
Kitte luks liek s/he’d grab itz n run 4 teh trash, if not 4
MY CURSED LACK OF OPPOSABLE…
o, nebbermines..
USE YOUR TEETH KITTY – USE YOUR TEETH !!!
NON-IRONIC PLACEMENT OF UGLY SHAMS
© Stend
LOL’S !!!
Teehee! Sorry, Stend, I dinnot see ur poast when I sumitted dat commint. Mebbe we did at saem tym… JINX!
Hai, teh maylman dropt off ur order uv Omaha Steaks an I sined 4 dem. Den dey started 2 thaw owt an I can’t open teh fridj widowt posable thums, soo… I eeted dem.
Nex tyme, plz git teh rib-i insted uv teh filay, it has teh better marbling. Kthxbai!
Now I cans barf on yr bedspred?
Heh, yeah, kitteh duz luk liek s/he’s reddy 2 projektile hurl there…
Oh hai, I eated ur noo lonjerry – it not taste so gret, akshully. Next time get Viktorias Sekret?
“why your lonjerry taste like bad fruit filling and not cheezburger? MAJOR PLEH… and now is stuck in my teeth – toothpick please? (BURP !!!)”
cheezburger flavored edible lingerie – coming soon to the ICANHAS store
(whuh…)
That oughta be interesting!!!!!
I had some bad thoughts about this one, but then the other voices in my head shouted them down.
Pleez not to let the boundries of gud taste be holdin u bak!
not on our account !!!
I eetz mah spinidj.
*Grizzwald hoominz sets wrapped kitthez under tree wif gamma’s jello cat treat salad*
Win!!! Skuze me, I’z noo heer. Just be learnins the LOLcatspeak. Butt I hadda say sumthin–I LUV Krismuss bacayshun! And I’s luv the lolcats. I vizits everryday.
Hi Roody’s Mom! Since teh speek iz garbld and gooshy anywayz, u rilly cant go rong!
Yay! I doo sumthing right mebbe! Thx forr the welcum!
U doin jus fyne, Roody’s Mom! Gud job! “Bacayshun” was a partikyoolarlee gud wun.
Bacayshunis almost teh wayy I tak nermally.
welcum, welcum Roody’s mom! dis r da bestist playss in da werld, dis ICHC, dontch fink? jus speek owt wen ebar da urge strykz u. iss ful ob da funz!
Butt (kittybutt?) I’m allmost to teh poynt ware I tink in dis way! Gud or not gud? Oh, Roody is one kitteh I belongs to. He’s bebeh kitteh–17 years old!1! Udder kitteh is “Bean.” Tanks evverywun for welcumz! Yer alls the bestestest.
I noo hear too..but tinkings in lolspeak awlreddy…taks dat waiz too
Lolspeek: iz nawt to sai if iz gud or not gud. It just iz. I feen is a zen
theeng.
I haz to be kareful or it cropz up in deh darnedest playses, u no?
Nawt much can be done bowt it, tho.
It just iz.
Nize wun Roody’s Mum. Kittehspeek is mixtur of txtspk, Skawttish and mizzspeelingz I thinkz.
Prittee Bawks iz Myne!
Sum wun leff itz awll aloane
4 me 2 plundurr
Kood shred whutz insyde
Juss 2 doo whut Kittehz doo,
but I haz matured
Soff stuff maykz hisseeng
sownd wen Iz stretch an turn. Feelz
kool aggenst mai fur
Skawttish Fold Kitteh
haz a brand noo bedz. Hewmins
shood juss acksept itz
Jack.
dis is not what I meant when I ordered an angora swetter from Maycees (wish dey’d have nebber taken ober Marshal Feelds– MF Forever !!!!!)
Oh noes! Macy’s eated Marshall Fields too??!! It eated Jorndan Marsh an Feline’s in Bawston and Rich’s in ‘Lanta. It gonna eat us all! HALP!1!
An Famous-Barr in Misooree and Foleys in Okie-lahoma
Macees ated Hechtz in Souff…gives dem innergesjun
No mater how hard she tryed, Muffin never made senterfold for Glamour Puss magazeen
yeah, muffin’s kinda a butterface… you know the type
“she has a lovely body, BUT HER FACE… “
oh mai oh mai … i am all too familur wit teh floofy gurlz lament: “U have such a pritty face!” Translation: “Too bad a nice mug iz wastd on this moose!” I HAS BEEN THERE!
“But she has such lovely hair” and a “good personalty” are also phrases with hidden meanings.
Cursed are the floofy amongst us who can’t even be said to have a pretty face, lovely hair, or a good personality…for they shall be called b**ch
Quite Often, actually, since I know you’re dying to ask.
Dmarie – i fink yer bootiful. u tu, Meno. shoot, u iz ALL bootiful, cuz u maykz me smyl very day!
Why thank you. A limerick I once heard:
Tho as a beauty I am not a star
There are others more lovely by far
My face I don’t mind it
For I am behind it
Its the people in front that I jar.
Seriously, I am actually quite happy with who I am and how I look. Its who I am. I joke about it more to make fun of others notion of beauty than to put myself down. When I lose weight, it will be for my health.
U donz comz ovvah as a bee hatch Marie.
Not to menshun “grate senze of hyoomur.” Dats de kiss ob deth. *sigh*
She has freckles on her butt…she is nice?
Homer and Jethro Song: She had freckles on her, but she is pretty
Another H & J Song: She had nine buttons on her nightgown, but she could only fasten eight.
My favorite H & J Song: (It was about billboards in a wind storm) Simonize your baby with a Hershey’s Candy Bar
To bad it is a “much loved” vinyl LP. I need to find a copy on CD.
That’s the song I was thinking of, but it has been at least 20 years since I heard it.
I wuz lissenin to “Pal-Y-At-Chee” in teh car on mah Nano dis morning!
I’s Popeye te Sailor Cat
I can has spinachburger.
maxin relaxin
in meh box
pina kolada plz
Whut u meanz, now I haf own bed, I nut need urs.
Mah bed gowz here.
Where u sleepz, nut mah prawblum.
Now turn out lite.
Kthxbai.
I didn’t scroll down all the way to see the text at the bottom of the pic and thought that “raff” was lolspeak for “raft”. It does sort of look like the kitteh has slid down the pillows as though it were rafting on the bed.
I have gone river rafting before and have seen many people look a lot like that after clearing some rapids, let me tell you!!
So, here’s my contribution:
“raff” ketteh tinks:
wooooh dat wuz wun awsum ried! i can haz do it agin?
I haz bin raffing, tu, and it is mush funz! But I has nebber winded up in teh ryver yet. Teh peepls I no whu has bin winded up in teh ryvr awl semes to sai dat dey nebber intins to raff agin. Parentlee, iz teh skarey.
Wat u meen ize rong saiz??? ize fitz purrrrrrfctlee.
Raff ride kitteh luks raffish.
Necks tym uzes UPS thruk, plz; is smuther ryd and teh dryvrs is secksier. Kthxbai.
OH, noes, NO BRWN, PLS. onlee deh USPS. Dey iz deh secksiest uv awl. And dey eeven comes on Caturday. Brown duz NOT do dat. (Mr. SK is a lettahcarryier. iz hawd jawb, lemeetelludiz)
And dey onlee goes postal cuz manijement types is de crazy. yes, troo storee. Dey haz sum rooles dat contradiks uther rooles. so dah carryiers tryes der verwy best to get u ur mayl wile deeling wif deh nuttso stupidvisers.
O, but u haz a unfayr adbandtij, sk! U is merried tu a USPS dood. I kans ownlee luks. An I jus has a ting for teh braown unyfoarm an teh shortses dey wares awl wyntr lawng. (Akshully dat sownds moar crayzee dan secksee, komes tu tink ov it…)
stupidvisors…yay! perzactly so…ben Rural Mail Carrier 24 yrs…mus be rekwirments to be stupid for visers
Yes, we noes dis to be troo, Snowigo. Dey iz a liddle lawng on drywall and a liddle short on studs. tee hee. Der liddle red caboozes haz gon
chugchugchuggin rownd deh bend. Dey iz abowt as brite as small applianse bulbz. Dey iz a few ants shy of a piknik.
Sumbuddy stop me! I can go on and on wif dese. Dey haz comed in verwy handy over deh yeers.
And, CP, I unnerstandz bowt shorts. Mr. SK wares dem most of dah year, too. He haz calvez lyke oak trees. Oh, my, I haz de vapors naow just theenkin bowt it. ; – )
dems pikniks iz short sum sammiches two
I thinks dat is teh awsum. Maffia face kittn.
“Myah, see…me and Rocco and Fat Louie are gonna go score some cheezburgrs, see? And no coppers are gonna stop us, see?”
Interior Design Cat is stunned by the horrific clash between the lamp shade and the pillow sham.
skawtish fold kitteh: “dis florull print b givin mee teh seezures!!!1!1!!”
boy, dat dah troof
O Hai! I’z bringin’ snarly bak!
OR:
Muh toofachez, lemme sho u it.
*Nyup nyup*, ahh, dis rinkulee paypr not so bad too sleepz on. Akshoolee itz…Wut?! Wha? Oh NOES! Road Mapz! Ah has dem!
Congradulashuns! Iz a bounsin babeh kitteh!
Wyrz mah blankhet gon? tell me