AH, DISTINCTLY I REMEMBR IT WUZ IN DA BLEAK DECEMBR,
AN EACH SEPARATE DYIN EMBR WROUGHT ITZ GHOST UPON TEH FLOOR.
EAGERLY I WISHD TEH MORROW;- VAINLY I HAD SOUGHT 2 BORROW
FRUM MAH BOOKZ SURCEASE OV SORROW- SORROW 4 DA LOST LENORE-
4 DA RARE AN RADIANT MAIDEN WHOM TEH ANGELS NAYM LENORE-
NAMELES HER 4 EVRMORE.

AN TEH SILKEN SAD UNCERTAIN RUSTLIN OV EACH PURPLE CURTAIN
THRILLD ME- FILLD ME WIF FANTASTIC TERRORS NEVR FELT BEFORE;
SO DAT NAO, 2 STILL TEH BEATIN OV MAH HART, I STOOD REPEATIN,
“TIS SUM VISITOR ENTREATIN ENTRANCE AT MAH CHAMBR DOOR-
SUM LATE VISITOR ENTREATIN ENTRANCE AT MAH CHAMBR DOOR;-
DIS IT IZ, AN NOTHIN MOAR.”
PRESENTLY MAH SOUL GREW STRONGR; HESITATIN DEN NO LONGR,
“SIR,” SED I, “OR MADAM, TRULY UR FORGIVENES I IMPLORE;
BUT TEH FACT IZ I WUZ NAPPIN, AN SO GENTLY U CAME RAPPIN,
AN SO FAINTLY U CAME TAPPIN, TAPPIN AT MAH CHAMBR DOOR,
DAT I SCARCE WUZ SURE I HERD U”- HER I OPEND WIDE TEH DOOR;-
DARKNES THAR, AN NOTHIN MOAR.

DEEP INTO DAT DARKNES PEERIN, LONG I STOOD THAR WONDERIN, FEARIN,
DOUBTIN, DREAMIN DREAMS NO MORTALS EVR DARD 2 DREAM BEFORE;
BUT TEH SILENCE WUZ UNBROKEN, AN TEH STILLNES GAEV NO TOKEN,
AN TEH ONLY WERD THAR SPOKEN WUZ TEH WHISPERD WERD, “LENORE!”
DIS I WHISPERD, AN AN ECHO MURMURD BAK TEH WERD, “LENORE!”-
MERELY DIS, AN NOTHIN MOAR.

BAK INTO TEH CHAMBR TURNIN, ALL MAH SOUL WITHIN ME BURNIN,
SOON AGAIN I HERD TAPPIN SOMEWHAT LOUDR THAN BEFORE.
“SURELY,” SED I, “SURELY DAT IZ SOMETHIN AT MAH WINDOW LATTICE:
LET ME C, DEN, WUT THEREAT IZ, AN DIS MYSTERY EXPLORE-
LET MAH HART BE STILL MOMENT AN DIS MYSTERY EXPLORE;-
TIS TEH WIND AN NOTHIN MOAR.”
OPEN HER I FLUNG TEH SHUTTR, WHEN, WIF LOTZ DA FLIRT AN FLUTTR,
IN THAR STEPPD STATELY RAVEN OV TEH SAINTLY DAIS OV YORE;
NOT TEH LEAST OBEISANCE MADE HE; NOT MINIT STOPPD OR STAYD
HE;BUT, WIF MIEN OV LORD OR LADY, PERCHD ABOOV MAH CHAMBR DOOR-
PERCHD UPON BUST OV PALLAS JUS ABOOV MAH CHAMBR DOOR-
PERCHD, AN SAT, AN NOTHIN MOAR.

DEN DIS EBONY BIRD BEGUILIN MAH SAD FANCY INTO SMILIN,
BY TEH GRAVE AN STERN DECORUM OV TEH COUNTENANCE IT WORE.
“THOUGH THY CREST BE SHORN AN SHAVEN, THOU,” I SED, “ART SURE NO CRAVEN,
GHASTLY GRIM AN ANCIENT RAVEN WANDERIN FRUM TEH NITELY SHORE-
TELL ME WUT THY LORDLY NAYM IZ ON TEH NITEZ PLUTONIAN SHORE!”
QUOTH TEH RAVEN, “NEVERMORE.”
MUTCH I MARVELLD DIS UNGAINLY FOWL 2 HEAR DISCOURSE SO PLAINLY,
THOUGH ITZ ANZWR LIL MEANIN- LIL RELEVANCY BORE;
4 WE CANT HALP AGREEIN DAT NO LIVIN HOOMAN BEAN
EVR YET WUZ BLEST WIF SEEIN BIRD ABOOV HIS CHAMBR DOOR-
BIRD OR BEAST UPON TEH SCULPTURD BUST ABOOV HIS CHAMBR DOOR,
WIF SUCH NAYM AS “NEVERMORE.”

BUT TEH RAVEN, SITTIN LONELY ON TEH PLACID BUST, SPOKE ONLY
DAT WAN WERD, AS IF HIS SOUL IN DAT WAN WERD HE DID OUTPOUR.
NOTHIN FURTHR DEN HE UTTERD- NOT FEATHR DEN HE FLUTTERD-
TILL I SCARCELY MOAR THAN MUTTERD, “OTHR FRENZ HAS FLOWN BEFORE-
ON TEH MORROW HE WILL LEEF ME, AS MAH HOPEZ HAS FLOWN BEFORE.”
DEN TEH BIRD SED, “NEVERMORE.”
STARTLD AT TEH STILLNES BROKD BY REPLY SO APTLY SPOKEN,
“DOUBTLES,” SED I, “WUT IT UTTERS IZ ITZ ONLY STOCK AN STORE,
CAUGHT FRUM SUM UNHAPPY MASTAH WHOM UNMERCIFUL DISASTR
FOLLOWD FAST AN FOLLOWD FASTR TILL HIS SONGS WAN BURDEN BORE-
TILL TEH DIRGEZ OV HIS HOPE DAT MELANCHOLY BURDEN BORE
OV NEVR- NEVERMORE.”

BUT TEH RAVEN STILL BEGUILIN ALL MAH FANCY INTO SMILIN,
STRAIGHT I WHEELD CUSHIOND SEAT IN FRUNT OV BIRD, AN BUST AN DOOR;
DEN UPON TEH VELVET SINKIN, I BETOOK MYSELF 2 LINKIN
FANCY UNTO FANCY, THINKIN WUT DIS OMINOUS BIRD OV YORE-
WUT DIS GRIM, UNGAINLY, GHASTLY, GAUNT AN OMINOUS BIRD OV YORE
MEANT IN CROAKIN “NEVERMORE.”

DIS I SAT ENGAGD IN GUESIN, BUT NO SYLLABLE EXPRESIN
2 TEH FOWL WHOSE FIERY EYEZ NAO BURND INTO MAH BOSOMS CORE;
DIS AN MOAR I SAT DIVININ, WIF MAH HEAD AT EASE RECLININ
ON TEH CUSHIONS VELVET LININ DAT TEH LAMPLIGHT GLOATD OER,
BUT WHOSE VELVET VIOLET LININ WIF TEH LAMPLIGHT GLOATIN OER,
SHE SHALL PRES, AH, NEVERMORE!
HEN METHOUGHT TEH AIR GREW DENSR, PERFUMD FRUM AN UNSEEN CENSR
SWUNG BY SERAFIM WHOSE FOOTFALLS TINKLD ON TEH TUFTD FLOOR.
“WRETCH,” I CRID, “THY CEILIN CAT HATH LENT THEE- BY THEES ANGELS HE HATH SENT THEE
RESPITE- RESPITE AN NEPENTHE, FRUM THY MEMORIEZ OV LENORE!
QUAFF, OH QUAFF DIS KIND NEPENTHE AN FORGET DIS LOST LENORE!”
QUOTH TEH RAVEN, “NEVERMORE.”
PROFET!” SED I, “TING OV EVIL!- PROFET STILL, IF BIRD OR DEVIL!-
WHETHR TEMPTR SENT, OR WHETHR TEMPEST TOSD THEE HER ASHORE,
DESOLATE YET ALL UNDAUNTD, ON DIS DESERT LAND ENCHANTD-
ON DIS HOME BY HORROR HAUNTD- TELL ME TRULY, I IMPLORE-
IZ THAR- IZ THAR BALM IN GILEAD?- TELL ME- TELL ME, I IMPLORE!”
QUOTH TEH RAVEN, “NEVERMORE.”

“PROFET!” SED I, “TING OV EVIL- PROFET STILL, IF BIRD OR DEVIL!
BY DAT HEAVEN DAT BENDZ ABOOV US- BY DAT CEILIN CAT WE BOTH ADORE-
TELL DIS SOUL WIF SORROW LADEN IF, WITHIN TEH DISTANT AIDENN,
IT SHALL CLASP SAINTD MAIDEN WHOM TEH ANGELS NAYM LENORE-
CLASP RARE AN RADIANT MAIDEN WHOM TEH ANGELS NAYM LENORE.”
QUOTH TEH RAVEN, “NEVERMORE.”

“BE DAT WERD R SIGN IN PARTIN, BIRD OR FIEND,” I SHRIEKD, UPSTARTIN-
“GIT THEE BAK INTO TEH TEMPEST AN TEH NITEZ PLUTONIAN SHORE!
LEEF NO BLACK PLUME AS TOKEN OV DAT LIE THY SOUL HATH SPOKEN!
LEEF MAH LONELINES UNBROKEN!- QUIT TEH BUST ABOOV MAH DOOR!
TAEK THY BEAK FRUM OUT MAH HART, AN TAEK THY FORM FRUM OFF MAH DOOR!”
QUOTH TEH RAVEN, “NEVERMORE.”

AN TEH RAVEN, NEVR FLITTIN, STILL IZ SITTIN, STILL IZ SITTIN
ON TEH PALLID BUST OV PALLAS JUS ABOOV MAH CHAMBR DOOR;
AN HIS EYEZ HAS ALL TEH SEEMIN OV DEMONS DAT IZ DREAMIN,
AN TEH LAMPLIGHT OER HIM STREAMIN THROWS HIS SHADOW ON TEH FLOOR;
AN MAH SOUL FRUM OUT DAT SHADOW DAT LIEZ FLOATIN ON TEH FLOOR
SHALL BE LIFTD- NEVERMORE!
Prrrrrrrsss and noms a cheezburger.

“Neveh Moar”

lurlz

Kitti! Yooh iz lokin’ lyk mi Mastur-Kitti Mistress Kyn-Kyn!! o:

Iz yooh Mastur-Kitti Mistress Kyn-Kyn? -gaspface-

kthnkx

~: Dagonfly :~

PS. Anybuddy here noe teh storee of why EAP was kiked owt of West Poynt?

But yu shood be a Doctor.

“Doctor Turkeyburger will c yu naow”
“Y yes doctor, ai’ve got a-”
“Nuh-uh! Aiiii’ll be da judj ov dat!”
“yes doct-”
“Hmm . . . Aah . . . Ohhh . . . Ai see . . . Yoo gawt heer juss in time. Wot yu hav der iz a nassteh case of Major Plech, which, if left untreeted, cud develp into a nassteh cayss ov Not Qwite Ded Yet.”

naow we noes why they are saying teh agains…….

U is a prper lolcat poet!!1!!

WIN!!! WIN!!! WIN!!!

(My yungst did his timez w/Norad,,n wentz to Iraq …Hiz wiif jsut gotz outta AF few mnthz ago,,,Dey wz in Turky for 2 yrs… himz wz cibilion at dat timez afta 6 yrs in/// yeah to AF!!! )

…korus…

yes, we no u will stey.

an nao all mai frenz tink ai is a saicho killer ladie… cuz i did an sanged dis song.

I amz Kroo Cheef in Ayr Forse Reserbz atz Androoz AFB. Putz grayt beeg Tanker ayrplaynz in t3h sky 2 keeps awl kyndz uv udder playnz flyeeng. I can haz wurk arowndz ayrplaynz 4 much lawng tyme.

Jack.

However, I did a fair amount of looking on teh Intarwebz last nite, but could find nothing to back dis storee up. Could be dat my teechur wuz just a big fibber. She wuz kinda strange, nao dat I thinks back on it…