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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Zekermeme on FIZICKS kafleenthedonkey on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! kafleenthedonkey on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! Lungdoc on I iz in ur space-time continuu… Kiya on Dis iz as far owt of bed caramelchef81 on I iz in ur space-time continuu… Lungdoc on I iz in ur space-time continuu… HistoryMaker on I iz in ur space-time continuu… caramelchef81 on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! Grantski on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! caramelchef81 on I iz in ur space-time continuu… Lungdoc on I iz in ur space-time continuu… caramelchef81 on I iz in ur space-time continuu… PootyTat on I iz in ur space-time continuu… PootyTat on I iz in ur space-time continuu…
sheer genius eet ur hart out
NEVER MEEEOOOOOOWWWRRRRR!!
Rorschach Kitty
oops… ignore dis one, and look further down….
brilliant.
that is all.
Rorschach Kitteh sayz, “Dokter, I r seeing spots.”
Rorschach Kitteh haz intrspeesheez relayshinship?
Kitteh seeing spots has teh MEWDS!
Giant Kitteh takes ober the woorld
Wif floof!
Raven? Whoz youz callin a bird brain?
Now *this* is a fluffy minion of doom!
Dark and brooding, introspective kitteh is deep…
… and all the gawth kittehs have crush on hims.
ai noez ai do!!!! ^_^
eternal cat
is eternal
Once upon a midnight dreary, while kitteh pondered weak and weary,
Over empty plates of cheezburger left near the kitchen door,
While I nodded nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of kitteh gently scratching, scratching at my chamber door.
” ‘Tis hungry kitteh,” I muttered, “scratching at my chamber door —
Hungry kitteh must want more.”
FTW! *applaws*
now dat is full of teh win an awsum!
M – totally off thread – this is the film I was mentioning
home.snafu.de/fablab/queerview/099hustlerwhite/english099.htm
now you don’t have to wait for me to say something dirty ;o)
ohhhh myyyyy *hand over mouf*
Seems we have a new “POE” -et!
“yeh, juss wayt till da 3 GothStoogez heer dat wun”
“3 GothStoogez? Waddaya torkin abowt”
“u knoe – Edgar, Al an Po.”
“why i otter….”
So much win! +5 cheezburgers!
Gothkitteh iz a floristz.
y do u say dat?
u shud see her Poe-Purreh.
AWESOME!!!!!!!!
Edpurrr Meowin Poe kitteh sez, “Nebur wuz burrd moar tastee den teh raven!” (nom nom)
Has U ebber seen teh ravens? Dey is nawt little burds. We has pics of wun taken when we wuz on teh vacay to Oreegon…Srsly, teh thing luks liek it iz tryin’ to steels teh hubcaps off teh weelz of teh Fambly Truckster…
Imagine a crow standin next to ur car, onlee it is almos’ as tall as ur wheel–and I’m talkin’ wheelz on a station wagon, not wun of dese mini cars we has nao.
So wut ur sayin iz Edpurrr Meowin Poe musta bin big kitteh, liek teh Mayn Koon or Norweegun Forrist Kitteh?
Or u fink he wuz jus fruntin??
“Nuh UH, u neber eeted no ravin!”
“Did too! Did too!”
“O yeh? Wut it tastin liek?”
“Um… fethury. Wif three owtta fiev pointy endz.”
“O ennybuddee cud gess dat!!”
Taste liek chikkin!
Ravens is most amazing burds. Wen we goes up to Algonquin Park, we gits up afore dawn to drive around lookin for lolmoooses an uther critters. Often, crows an ravens ar walkin along teh road. Tehy look at teh car lyke, “Hey man, WTF? It’s MAH road.” Tehy s-l-o-o-wly gitz outta teh way of teh car, fly a bit if they rly has to, then settle daon again to eat nice tastee (& nootrishus) roadkill. Teh ravens is HUGE, an tehy has an amazin variety of calls. Cool, cool burds. No wonder Odin had 2 purrsonal raven henchburds.
My peepl went to Shenandoah Nationnal Prk n climeed out da face of the da rocks way up inna air to watch the Ravens play inna wind. So cool. Dey waz playing wid stik way upper more in da air. Dey was passin it back and foth and flying upside down! Mom came home all like “gotta learn about dem birds.” Da have a 28 word “vacabulary” dat humaz noes about an day smarter dan dogs. Not smater en kittehs of corse, but not bad for bird brains. Mom calls dem feather kittehs. Way full of cool dem berdies.
I have a cat that is smaller than a raven. They has the hugeness.
lol–almos’ every kitteh is smaller den teh ravenz…
“Hu noes what ebil lurks in da hearts uv men?”
Teh Lolcat noes…foar he seez whut u did dere…
mebbeh u meen seeling cat?
Seeling cat Seiz it all!
Een 1957 Dokter Baron von Nomnomnom, took wut wood bee teh onlee nown fodo ov teh Loch Ness Mowser. Still undr skrootinizashins ebben tooday.
Baron von Nomnomnom…(snork…giggle)
Classic.
Ha! Yes teh Baron wuz teh foarmowst nootrishinulist in teh feeld ov kitteh fud. Menee niytes he cud bee herd in hiz lab. Nom nom nom, PLECHK! Or Nom nom nom, Mmmm, dem bugz wuz gud! Hiz werk awlso wuz instroomental in deeveluping cafateeria menyoos foar skool chilruns. Lyke : Mowseloaf , squished putaydows n palmeddoe bug graybee wit crizpee appul wejiz. Iz dat taystee or wut?
Eet iz de wut, pleh!
DAMMITT!
ok eben tho sillannz damn neer came close to whut teh first fing dat came to mah mindz…
Ravenz r taystee an nutrishis!
Or I kept finkin of teh “Heart storee”
Unnder teh stayrs… meow meow…meow meow
i swares, i can heer teh nomming uv himz kursedd burger!!!
ackshulee, did u noes dat wen EAP an his wae-too-yung cuzin/wife wer poor n starvin an she wuz ill, dey had a kitteh dat dey traynd to lie awn himz wife an keeps her warm? is troo. i noes cuz i reddit sumwares.
i can has lyf-savin myooz kitteh?
Yeth. but insted we gitz Oscar!!!! AIIIEEEE!
JK. I wud wawnt a kitteh hepin me to teh ovver side.
“Wuz it… peesfull?”
“O, it wuz downrite snorgly!”
Sowndz purty good to meh!
If i’m not mistaken, didn’t they akshully kinda…um…bury her befoar she was completely ded?
d00d, himz lief maeded himz storees sownd normull. i furgot bowt dat part tho. tawk abowt DO NOT WANT! poor littul Oskur’s runnin next to teh coffin, meowin… *shudder*
she don’t want to go awn th cart. sheez getting bettr. shee feelz haappee. shee feelz haappee. shee feelz haa-. *CLOMP*
ryte, see ya thursdee then.
I think that was one of his stories; they buried a young wife and later – when they thought they heard her ghost screaming in its grave and unearthed it – a black cat came bolting out of the coffin. That could actually be based on something Poe experienced, though. He did have quite the life….
Troo, Poe had teh lief dat had much Do Not Want. I wuz theenking dat I ‘membered a story frum wun of mai Eenglish teechurs frum teh Hai Skool . Poe’s wife died frum teh Tooberkulowsis (major Plech) and sometiems peeple with teh TB go into comas and are Not Qwite Ded Yet, but medical knowledge being whut it wuz at teh time, dey thot she wuz a gonner so dey burys her.
Den later, Poe is plagued by nitemares dat she is trying to get back to him. So finally dey digs her up and opens teh coffin and finds her Very Much Ded, but also finds teh fabric on teh lid of teh coffin was torn up and lots of scratches on the inside of teh lid.
This kinda pushes him over teh edge, so to speek, and becomes a theme in many of his storees.
However, I did a fair amount of looking on teh Intarwebz last nite, but could find nothing to back dis storee up. Could be dat my teechur wuz just a big fibber. She wuz kinda strange, nao dat I thinks back on it…
moovee iz starrng Ray Milland an cawld Buried Alive i tink. Haz a messd up hereditree dizeez ware can fawl unconshus an awl bawdee funkshinz get so kwiet dat da Doctor kant heer nuffin.
But yu shood be a Doctor.
“Doctor Turkeyburger will c yu naow”
“Y yes doctor, ai’ve got a-”
“Nuh-uh! Aiiii’ll be da judj ov dat!”
“yes doct-”
“Hmm . . . Aah . . . Ohhh . . . Ai see . . . Yoo gawt heer juss in time. Wot yu hav der iz a nassteh case of Major Plech, which, if left untreeted, cud develp into a nassteh cayss ov Not Qwite Ded Yet.”
you are comparing Poe’s The Raven to a MOVIE?! its a worded masterpeice!!! i dont CARE if it IS based on the poem, it could never COMPARE to it!
EAP dont sownd nearly as skerry as Edgar Allan Poe. Say it as a wurd, not letterz…. seemz approp…aprow…rite, sumhow.
eapropriut?
‘Lissa, I fink u is confuzin “Teh Tell-Tale Heart” wif “Teh Black Cat.” Eever dat or Poe did.
P.S. Dis is AWSUM photo
Yeth. i wuddnt confused…well mebbeh i jus cuddnt member
teh teeltale hart name of teh storeeeeee.jus teh thump thump part.
how bout teh “cask of amontillado”?
kitteh lurez hyoomin into bassmint with powurful hyoomin catnip, chainz hyoomin to wall, then slowlee brickz hyoomin up behind wall. it’s kitteh’s revenje 4 hyoomin nawt givin kitteh moar cheezburgers. POEKITTEH!!! IZ V MUCH AWSUM!!! ^_^
You’re alwais welkum at owr howse,
aneetime of deh day,
You’re alwais welkum at owr howse,
and we hope u will stay.
Silverstein
and, wen u kum to owr howse, owr howse,
wen u kum to owr howse, we will hav sum fun!
We will taek u to da kichen and den we put u in da oven till ur nice an dun.
…korus…
yes, we no u will stey.
an nao all mai frenz tink ai is a saicho killer ladie… cuz i did an sanged dis song.
i has a kyoot behbeh LoLRaven I maed a wile bak on Gordon’s buildr
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1069/1076207463_c5b7a79640.jpg?v=0
link were borked first time
Aww dats a pweshus LoLRaven. Soe floofy & snorgley! Pity hez so kyute – make tastee & nutrishus snak fur teh kitteh!
him wud prolly puut ur eie owt if u tryed to snorgle hims!
majestic profile kitteh is magestic….an fluffee!!!
Yes, dis is mai best sidez.
The End of the Raven, by Edgar Allen Poe’s Cat
On a night quite unenchanting,
when the rain was downward slanting,
I awakened to the ranting of the man I catch mice for.
Tipsy and a bit unshaven,
in a tone I found quite craven,
Poe was talking to a Raven perched above the chamber door.
“Raven’s very tasty,” thought I, as I tiptoed o’er the floor,
“There is nothing I like more”
Soft upon the rug I treaded,
calm and careful as I headed
Towards his roost atop that dreaded bust of Pallas I deplore.
While the bard and birdie chattered,
I made sure that nothing clattered,
Creaked, or snapped, or fell, or shattered, as I crossed the corridor;
For his house is crammed with trinkets, curios and weird decor –
Bric-a-brac and junk galore.
Still the Raven never fluttered, standing stock-still as he uttered,
In a voice that shrieked and sputtered, his two cents’ worth –
“Nevermore.”
While this dirge the birdbrain kept up, oh, so silently I crept up,
Then I crouched and quickly lept up, pouncing on the feathered bore.
Soon he was a heap of plumage, and a little blood and gore –
Only this and not much more.
“Oooo!” my pickled poet cried out,
“Pussycat, it’s time I dried out!
Never sat I in my hideout talking to a bird before;
How I’ve wallowed in self-pity,
while my gallant, valiant kitty
Put and end to that damned ditty” – then I heard him start to snore.
Back atop the door I clambered, eyed that statue I abhor,
Jumped – and smashed it on the floor.
Author unknown
We needs a book of ICHC powetry!!! Lotz of reely gud powets on dis site!
Ms Can opener-u din’t write dis??
this is the best. original, but following the meter. Thank you, Mz Canopener, My hed ’sploded frum enby. Den i defroztded meny chzbrgrs for youz.
Eric Portell is apparently the writer – I googled this. There are other poems attributed to him that are spoofs of Poe. I also found unattributed versions of this, so I can’t vouch for the attribution, Anybody else know?
dat wuz awsum. so much winnin pohtree tonite.
Dat worth one hole angus steer nd a wheel ob cheddar! I wood clap but my claws need clipping. Ball knocked owt of de park wit dat one! Yahoo for Ms Can Opener. Just a little suspicious dou. Do cheezberbergs come in cans?
Dat is WUNNERFUL!11! Absolootly full of win.
Okay, I wuz going to translate the entire text of “The Raven” into lolspeak, but dang if it’s not a freakin’ long poem.
So instead, I will do but a few paragraphs, with generous nods of aknolegmunt to gothkitteh who beat me to it (and did it with moar funneh).
Wunce upon a midnite dreery, wile Ah pondered, weeks and weeriez,
Obber menny a qwaint and cureeus volyoom of forgotten loar–
Wile Ah nodded, nearly nappin’ subbenly dere cames a tappin’
As if sum wun gentlee rappin’ rappin’ at mah chamber door
“Is sum lolcat” I mutterz, “tappin at mah chamber doorz–
Onlee dis and nuthin’ moar.”
Open heer I flung teh shutterz, when, wif manee a floof and snorgle
In dere stepped a fuzzy Lolcat of teh saintlee dayz of yore
Not teh leastest purr made he; not a minnit stopped or stayed he
But, wif teh attitood of royaltee, horked a hairball on teh floor
Den perched upon teh skritchin post, obber bai teh fireplace floo,
Den dropped half a mowsie in mah shoe.
“Be dat mowse ur sign of parting, cat or fiend!” I shreekded, upstartin’
“Get ur butt back into teh tempest and teh yard owtside dat door!
Leeve no hairball as a prezint of dat fuzz dat u be groomin’
Leeve mah web surfin’ unbotherd, and get ur butt down on teh floor
Take ur poots from owt mah howse, and take ur harblz and quicklee duck!”
Quoth teh Lolcat, “Dood, srsly–WTF?”
With profound apologies to Mr. Poe.
LOLZ!! Givz Standing ohbayshinz. Tayke teh bow!
LOL!!!
“But, wif teh attitood of royaltee, horked a hairball on teh floor
Den perched upon teh skritchin post, obber bai teh fireplace floo,
Den dropped half a mowsie in mah shoe.”
SO MUCH AWSUM
srsly, +5 burgrz just fur non-gratooituss use uv teh wurd “horked”!!!
teh end iz pawsiblee teh best lolcuplet eber.
Take thy beak from out my heart! BLARG I is ded of teh laffin.
dat be reeely phunee! bery goods!!
On a night quite unenchanting, when the rain was downward slanting,
I awakened to the ranting of the man I catch mice for.
Tipsy and a bit unshaven, in a tone I found quite craven,
Poe was talking to a Raven perched above the chamber door.
“Raven’s very tasty,” thought I, as I tiptoed o’er the floor,
“There is nothing I like more.”
Soft upon the rug I treaded, calm and careful as I headed
Towards his roost atop that dreaded bust of Pallas I deplore.
While the bard and birdie chattered, I made sure that nothing clattered,
Creaked, or snapped, or fell, or shattered, as I crossed the corridor;
For his house is crammed with trinkets, curios and weird decor –
Bric-a-brac and junk galore.
Still the Raven never fluttered, standing stock-still as he uttered,
In a voice that shrieked and sputtered, his two cents worth –
“Nevermore.”
While this dirge the birdbrain kept up, oh, so silently I crept up,
Then I crouched and quickly leapt up, pouncing on the feather bore.
Soon he was a heap of plumage, and a little blood and gore –
Only this and not much more.
Then my pickled poet cried out, “Pussycat, it’s time I dried out!”
Never sat I in my hideout talking to a bird before;
How I’ve wallowed in self-pity, while my gallant, valiant kitty.
Put an end to that damned ditty – then I heard him start to snore.
Back atop the door I clambered, eyed that statue I abhor,
Jumped – and smashed it on the floor.
U know… if they’d aimd th kamra juss a littl to the left, this wud hav awlso mayd a meen Alfred Hitch
dickcock.i wub it , wubbbie it bestes. but Mooster Poe not berry phunnie.
Where is Jack D? We has to has de lolcatz Jamboree and 5-7-5 Honk u err…Hike u? well DAT stuffz dat he do so troo.
Grammycatz
poe is one of the Teletubbies.
Winner in teh lolcategory of Toadal Randomness
Did U ebber heer dat teh Teletubbie Po is akshully a pr0n star? Is troo.
again! again!
naow we noes why they are saying teh agains…….
It’s Alfred Hitchcock Kitty.
Waytin for Teh Byrds.
I can has iambick pentametrz?
No, but u can has trochaic octimeters. Srsly.
shoodint it be “nevermoar?” “Moar” iz mai fayvurit lolwurd, an it fitz so perfickly…
well Jes, you canz haz MINE, I not needingz dem naow. I has dustcovered blank verse iz berry eazier more lols too.
From Wikipedia: Blank verse is a type of poetry, distinguished by having a regular meter, but no rhyme. In English, the meter most commonly used with blank verse has been iambic pentameter.
O, I getz it, U wuz jest testin to see if I rilly did stay awake in class. Did I be pass?
I can has ee cummings and noes graficals nor captals neither?
Yesh, yu be pass, grats. Note use of werdz ” most commonly “. dat beez my excape hadtch, purrrrrrr
poe cat saz
i did not kill me wyf an berry her in de brick wall-
ignores da beetin hart
will nots drive me in sane
Goood EEEEEEE-ven-ing,
This izz Alllfred Hitch-cat heah .
Baaaa RUMP te da de da DUMP te DUMP….
Dat Kitteh Lookin lyke he has teh pledgin’ of ‘leeegents(2 da flag). Is funnee. Maek me hab gigglins
drama kitteh is…………… DRAMATIC!!!
I’m disappointed in the captioner for not making an Alfred Hitchcock reference.
Beeg Rayven Kitteh
meltz n2 t3h Nyte. Brayvlee
gardeeng his Domayn
Skirteeng dim street lytz
Glydez ober kool grass. Sylent
az a summur’z breeze
Trash Kanz an fenses
arz meer steppeeng stoanz to gayn
panorammik veew
Kontent Rayven Kitteh
skanz t3h kwyet nayburhood
as t3h Sun ryzez
Jack.
Bouts tyme u shode ups ta depends ur poe et loryat tytl! Thx fur gettin us abay frum Edpurr Meowin Poe n hiz dark deepwest n sumwat deeminted (K, MUCHEZ deeminted) poe atree!
Hi, ManfredMom
Rubz unnder t3h chinz uv Manfred and Princess of Siam an awllll t3h Yooniburss.
Sowwee Ize layte. Wurkinz teh Nyte Shiff naow til Oktober. Keepinz demockasee sayf.
Ebbee wun else wuz deweeng Poe, so I din goez kwite az deep, depressing or deemented.
Jack.
Manfred & HRH Ayla say ppuurrrrrr 2 Jack fur teh chin rubz!
Jack iz n depense indestree?? N teh Navy lyk Villij peepl?
Hi, ManfredMom, stargrrl, Turkeyburger an grammykatz:
I amz Kroo Cheef in Ayr Forse Reserbz atz Androoz AFB. Putz grayt beeg Tanker ayrplaynz in t3h sky 2 keeps awl kyndz uv udder playnz flyeeng. I can haz wurk arowndz ayrplaynz 4 much lawng tyme.
Jack.
Wowwweeee! Dat means U fly dem big nursg mudders wid wings brininng de cheezbergers to hungry liddle planes needs yummies to stay up inna sky? Dat is full of coolness. Scary dooh, huh? U gotz doz *big* machines way up inna skie come soooo close. But babbies gotta be fed huh? Else day fall and dat be hugeish bad. U do goood wrk! Keep falling aircraft offa kiddeh heads!
Brudder-in-law was in AF. Afore he retyrd was asisstent to bayse commander at WP. Had lotses gud dinnerz at owfisers club! Also had wunnerfil qwarterz fur neeces webbing – was not costed much muneez & was wery plushee! He was at airshow cupple weekses ago wen teh axident happenz. So sad & scaree.
amen manfred mom i was just thinking “where be jack? and all his awesome poems
Dood, I thinks dat wuz wun of ur bestest wuns yet…
Much Lubz for dis one,,, It be most hardz to get brain away furm Poe,,,onct it is imbebbed,,,,
U is a prper lolcat poet!!1!!
WIN!!! WIN!!! WIN!!!
(My yungst did his timez w/Norad,,n wentz to Iraq
…Hiz wiif jsut gotz outta AF few mnthz ago,,,Dey wz in Turky for 2 yrs… himz wz cibilion at dat timez afta 6 yrs in/// yeah to AF!!! )
carl jung kitteh brayvelee fayses himz shadow self an comez 2 turms wif himz deeplee repressd dezyre 4 cheezburgrs.
deep wifin owr kollective unconsh… unconshush… owr ids, der is a primal kitteh in eech uv us.
It’s spelled NEVER MOAR.
Get it right, ppl. kplzthx.
you have some bandwith the raven quoth, what does it mean to quoth, is it the same as quooof your did i say something amiss. what will you do with all the hungry kitties kitties need milk and warm saucers to eat their vittles from. don’t forget to take them on walks, to the store to get a loaf of bread a gallon of butter and a stick of milk because its just no good anymore since you went away, what did you expect me to do just lie down and die?
“Quoth” is old wurd; meenz same ting as “said”.
whos that
whos that rappin
whos that rappin at my chamber door?
I can only say that this thread is stellar! WIN AND AWSUM!!!!!
Silowet kitteh sez: u need fill-in flash.
I can has “backlit” feetchur on mai camera nao? kthxbai.
Bak-kombed kitteh can has Aquanet?
NEVARMOAR
stoic kitteh iz stoic.
I neber seen such a proud floofyness…… we are amazed and proud too.
I’ve been listening to Alan Parsons Project since I saw this.
brilliant
Itz not rilly a kitteh – itz a kitteh-shaped hole in spayse-tyme.
PS. Anybuddy here noe teh storee of why EAP was kiked owt of West Poynt?
ah luvz it!
Would’ve been funnier if you said ‘Quoth the kitteh nevermore’
o:!!
Kitti! Yooh iz lokin’ lyk mi Mastur-Kitti Mistress Kyn-Kyn!! o:
Iz yooh Mastur-Kitti Mistress Kyn-Kyn? -gaspface-
kthnkx
~: Dagonfly :~
NEVERMOAR!!!!!!
lurlz
seems like a movie. me wis my kitteh could do deh same…dat would b so cute!!
Quoth the lolcat
“Neveh Moar”
i LOVE that poem, and e.a.p ROCKS!!!