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Cheezburger Network Blog
u.. wil… OBEH!!!!
fact about kittehs….
no matter how many times you swing a watch ing front of them, it’s still a plaything.
Yu haz tryed hipnotizing kitteh?? Inneresting…
you know a better way to get them to give up a ‘nip addiction?
Mine need the support of their 12 step group!
24-step group, Shirley?
Kitteh has twice as meny feets as peoples, must need twice as meny steps.
just say OH to catnip
cheezy duzzit
I tink u nede tu swich to sumting loawer oktane, Kitteh. Lyk Jolt.
OMFG! WUT IZ DAT?? O.O
WHUTEVUR IT IZ, IZ RELLUVINT TO MAH INTRIZT.
Indeedz it iz I will makes it mine
U maaaad mee larff!!!!!1! Thnnx
Klose up Kitteh is reddi furr mah klose up
Red Bull giff me wingz? I prefur cheezburger….
but wif wingz u can FLIEZ to cheezburger! FLIEZ, KITTEH, FLIEZ!!!!!!!!!!!
When i sees cheezburger mah pupilz is dilatingz.
ALso mah pulse iz racingz.
DO WANT!
nooter???
Whut u meen I be happyeer kitteh wifout em? Srsly dude, wher u gettin ur informashun?
Wide eyed Kitteh iz
much wyyrd. Dubbil Espresso
shawtz hab strawng Ju-Ju
Wun likkz 4 tayst iz
fyne. Ennee moar an Kitteh
gets Insommneea
Kitteh willz krash sune
Affur kleeneeng Fud Boal an
paynteeng t3h garajj
Jack.
LOL at “paynteeng t3h garajj”. Kitteh cann com paynt mah bafroom cupbord. Iz rael grimee frum preeveeous tennants. Iz rael gros. I iz goin tew paynt mahself, fore mah owne peece of mynd.
kitiz in mah howz haz fayld to do dishiz, daspyt da fakt dat da dishwozhr iz unlokd and der is dishiz in teh sink reddy to be did. wtf. An’ da dishiz fairies, dey nawt do dem neethur. Damnit, I haz to do mahself AGIN!?!?!?!? WTF. An’ nohbuddy did Daddeh’s londree? An’ der been nobuddy pikkin’ up da livvin’ ruum neethur. Doez teh mumma doez EVRYFING in diz howz?? I meen, seeryuzly.
All I evur wantid wuz for them to run the vakyoom. Itz their fur aftur all.
But NoOOooooo.
Teh vacuuum is to bee feereded bai all kittehs in mai hows. I go to teh boom klosets, an my 17 yr old kitteh, she mediatly trots up teh stairz.
teh over 2 are 4 an 5 yrs ol. tehy come up and say hello funneh machine wut ar u? teh tehy are all archy bax wif teh “OH NOES… machine R angry at us!!! run furr ur laivs!!”
I put teh vacuum away, close teh kloset doar, and ol kitteh, she comes trottin down teh stairs. Young kittehs, tehy have flatted ears and puffy tales, all teh rest of teh dai. Ol kittehs rock.
Yu want kittehz tu run vakyoom? Mah kittehz run FRUM vakyoom!
snafutti, yr old kitteh has much smrt.
mah 1 goggie, she lyk vakyoom en wil follo it aroun de howse til she getz speshul upolstry brush treetmint. it lyk goggie day spa massaj. udder goggie, she run en hyde frum vakyoom.
yu no teh rulez!! Momma doez evurtheeng! An dem dam chore fairies….if dey EVUR sho up-I’m gonna kik der butz! Lazie bumz!
Wait til aftur dey du teh chorez, tho….
Umm, Elfi? I thinks u useded up ur allotment of teh letter “d” wif dat post dere…
Wen kitteh finsh wid ur howse, plz to come do mine?? I needz hoel insyd howse payntedz. Kitteh cn start wid ceelng in 2 storree fo-yeay!
Iz gets mor Red Bull & cheezburgerz 4 himz!
insommneea? no kitteh suffah frum dat. chase mowze littel fasstr, then tayk de nap. (lvli blu eyz)
Anudder fyne pees bai r resssiden po-it! Lubs it as uzhwal, Jack!
i bought u sum starbux frapacheenoz, but i drinked them.
Alzo sum monzturdrinkz. But I drinkded dem too.
Oh well, gess it b up to mee…. Don’t Do This, Please Don’t Do This! No cafeens fur teh kittehs.
Aw heck, I cant keep it going….
’sides, I tink cafeens must be endangerred spesiys, whut wit us all drinkin it an den waystin it by snortin it on the monitor thingee.
PS If you wants a troll license, join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lolfrenz/
I made one fur evrebudy.
Aw, DM, u r so sweet! *goes to get license*
Tankyoo, DM! (applies for license)
No praublem. Kafeens growz on bushez. Yez reely.
That license ROOLZ!!!! Fanks!
me too….hope dey doan runz outta dem!
Ican has licence to troll? not just a permit? Ican wear pink fluffy troll wig in photo?
( we used to joke: “you don’t have a licence to ill, you only have a permit” )
PERMIT TO ILL
Dis license haz a floofy blu troll on it, but iffen u ask nice, I’ll make 1 jus for u wit teh floofy pinknocity. I’ll even try to dress it in a flying munkee suit.
i can has liscense? i haz teh caffeinated nasal lavage down pat & haz rolluv paper towels for to pass around to be wiping of monitors…
“caffeinated nasal lavage” bwahahahahahaha so much win
i wuz waytn fer teh OH NOES!!!!!1!!! FINK OV TEH KITTEHS!!!!!!!1!!! posting.
fank u ver much, DM!
*pulls off fedora hat* PUUURRRR. “Aw, just look at him. Look at him in his wee little boots!”
uh, dat’s nawt mah catnipz!
luvs teh shrek kitteh!
OMG – I can see forever!!!
Dis endin doan make senz
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/tag/forever/
Yikerz!
I REEDZ INTO UR SOLES!!!!!!
an eeted them
*nom nom nom*
win win win win win win
*snorks yet another mouthful of coffee*
i m no longer taking mah coffee inna cup. gonna jes use a straw up mah noze & cut out teh middleman.
paper towelz plz?
ai can see thee seamz in thee air, an thee spacez insyde thee seamz. we are awl konnekted. we are separated molkyoolz ov da wun mass konshusness, interdependnt yet moastlee unawayr. ware do aynjelz go wen thay die? why iz sand awsum at th beech, but suxxorz awn ur cowch? wudn’t curling up in a feetal pozishun be moar convining if yu had a gigant woom? wud anywun get upset if ai fed care trollz to confyoozd vejetariunz. . . .um . . . ai mayd yu mushroomz but thay eeted me.
faaaar out, kitteh!
rspkt furr youze observayshions and Deep Fowt.
gimme sum ov whutevur yu bin taykin, kthx.
Humz “teh seemz in teh ayr, teh spayc inzyd teh seemz”…. Um I bin der, I fink. lolz.
oh my. I kan haz flazhbak?
yayz.
wun ov mai colledg frenz sounded laik dis wuns. He went on and on about teh Kraft conspiracy, how deh kraft trux wuz alwayz everywaer. Talked fur 10 hourz strait.
Whut u meen i takez placeboz?
Whut about deh spacegoblinz & kozmik pyramid?
I swears i c it!
Dr Sagan-kitteh haz eksepshonal pyoopilz and surrownz dem wiv da wundrz ov da yoonivurss.
BILLYINZ AN’ BILLYINZ!!
reellee cold thurmometr.
:::POIT:::
Lolz!!1!!! Nyce sound effex!
heehee kitty so cute but redbull not good 4 u even if it give u wings 2 get cheezburger!
lolcats r so cute i cant believe i neva new bout them b4! (i love cats!!!)
Wellcomes 2 Lana!
Hellooooo lana!
Hai Lana. R U kewt?
Evvybuddy on ICHC is kewt!
Zilly kwestyon reely.
Caffinated kitteh iz caffinated.
MAH GAWD! ITZ FUL UV STARZ!
mah godd…iz ful ov starzz…
…an i is ful ov starrzzzzzzzzbukkkkkkssss *wiiing* bbbzzzzzzzz *boing* bbbzzzzzzzzzz *bonk* bbbzzzzzzzz *bork!* (((sounz of kitteh bouncin off wallz)
I can haz trippi grafix 4 longs time?
Yez but no jumpin on bed at end. I just kleened doz sheetz.
I can has obylisk?
mah godd… iz full uv starbuckses
spyse must flo…
(can’t beleev no-one’s sed it yet)
ai can haz weerding?
Oh Em Gee!!!!! This was totally my fayce just nao!!!
We jus had a 4.5 eq about a foot from mai howse! eeeks!
An uv coars, hubby slep thru it! It was bouncy up an down an tings swayin an mai keets freakin!!! Nuthin heer fell down, but nao I cant get to sweep!!
After Norfrij kwayk, I gets da freakies. Dis wun shakeded so lowng I wuz paralized wif frites – an sittin next to da window! Duh!!
I iz glad I lives in da Midwest. Jus tornados here–and dey don strike tew awful much, liek da erfquakes. Floodin tew, but dat isn’t rael common eeter.
Ya, dis one da biggest near me inna long tiem. Usoollee don get such nice wunz as dis!
Ackchoollee, since livin in dis howse, I don feel dem so bad, dey hafta be reel shakies befoar I feelz dem. Usedto cood feel dem as small as 1.8, nao can onlee feel da wunz over 2.9! Iz onlee 10 secunds of sheer terror, den iz dun. Odds R good to not be in wun!
Den we sweep up da borkded tingz an laff in da sunshyne!
I been in enuff ta be a conosewer of da shakeez, usedto cood tell da magnetood of dem and where dey wuz comin frum! Not so much anymore….
But kittehs an goggies R good to hav befoar kwayke… if U kan tell when dey acktin weerd, den U mite be forewarned! My frenz an I uzoollee get da clumseez befoar a kwayk too….
B! Don’t know if you know this site, but sounds like you could give a great description of how it felt during the quake. There’s also a map of how strongly the effects were felt near the epicenter. Iz edumacational!1!
http://quake.wr.usgs.gov/recenteqs/Quakes/ci14312160.htm
Yah, I went der rite after da shakeez stopt to see da magnitood, but it nawt postid yet, so I filleded in da form der. Den ma fren IM’d me from abowt 10 milez away an we ‘chatted’ to calm down! Den I cood see da magnitood wuz 4.5 (nao 4.6) an it not rite unner ma feets, but a lil bit west. Shake had good kwalitee an I REEEEEALLLEEE awake, so I cood give good descrips of da shakeez. Iz a fun sience foar da nativ Calis, an tryin to perdick dem frum animal behayvyor or bodee feelins….
I kan perdick da REEELLEE big wunz reeelleee well, I wuz a mess befoar NR, an evrybuddy talked abowt ‘when da kwayke cumz’ an stuff. Iz funnee, but skeeree, but fun… sorta…. mebbe liek gettin a tattoo?
I iz teh midwezturnur, tooh. ZOMGZ 4.5 erfkwak? DO NOT WUNT.
Yah, I haz livingz on teh up-zlope, nawt on floodplayn…. an’ we liv varee neer teh tornaydoh zirinz, so we knowz when DEY goze off. An’ dey only goze off dat wun tym lazt yr.
Glad u is ok, B! I sleeped thru mah onlee erfqwayk. I wuz mad dat I din’t waek ups, wanted 2 memembur it.
Ize did dat wit da 4.7 2.
Gwadz I wiv in sno cuntry – onlee haz 2 wurry bowt diggin owt da driffs! Gwadz ur OK, B!
Andz? We haz hadz 4.7z neer heer. We’z notz on aktiv fawlt eizer.
EEK! Dats terrifai’in.
I iz in MN, soz noarmulee I’d bee happy bout not havin de kwakes – but insted, we can haz de brok bridgiz.
*sendz u simpathees*
I livz in hurricayne territorie, and tornadoez still scarez me moar. I growed up a Hoosiergirl, and member doze way too well.
Doan want eq, eeder. I’ll take hurricaynes — I gotz 3 dayz to getz me an fambly outta da way.
Gud point. Onlee warninz u get fur teh tornadoez iz teh green skai.
an the green skai meks mai blud run cold an my tummeh feel not so good.
heer in KS, wes had dat green skai in 92-n da wurstest hail storm efer-grate big hail stoens-sofbal saize, sum of dem. Totaled mai car-dint haf garaige din. Tuk mai kittehs downstairs-onee had 1 carreeir, so I put de oder kitteh in a suitcase. I wint bak upstayres to watch (u noes uz a tru kanzan win u goes outsied to luk fur tornaydoes). Iz standin wit my hands on mai storum door (lifed in a liddle howse) feelin da howes shaiken. I terned arownd n heer coemes da kitteh dat wuz in da suutcais strolin up frum da baysiment-not a care in da wurld. Dat wuz bery skery.
we had a eq here 1 tiem -don’t noes were de epicenter wuz-felt liek big truk or trayne goin by-but wernt neder one. I hurd on da newz latyer dat is was eq. Wieerd in KS.
Ya, KS an MS ar on da bigges fawltlien in da US…. Hazn’t dun nuffin majer since liek 1820, but dat made da Mrs. Ippi River go BAKWARDZ fur a few dayz!!!! Calld da Madre fawlt…. yikes.
Dis 4.6 iz small kwayke, reelee. I bin in da 71, 87, 91s, 94, an 29 Stumps kwaykes in 98 or 99…. Da 94 wuz HUGE! Evryting fall ober, kittehs skeered to bits, bildins fall down (An I workd in property managemint den, no fun!), peeple died, no lectricity or cable for weeks, no water fur dayz…. tank FSM we wuz reenactors an were ok wif shiftin for ourselves! My foreber hubby lived in dis howse, is 1 miles frum where da gas pipe cot fyre an was flamin up thru da water frum broken water mane!!! But I lived rite at de edge ov da epicenter, wuz liek wild ride dat mornin!!!
I went to IU – Bloomington. My parents are from WTH. I grew up a Cornhusker, but surrounded by Hoosiers. So WTF am I doing on the East Coast?
Hurrycanes, pleh! Do Not Want! I trade u hurrycane for nice blizzard. U no its coming, u gits food an firewood an stays put, all snuggly. Wif hurrycane, u kin gits ur ownself an fambly outta da way, but u kin come back an fine ur howse nocked down. Is not so grate, ackshully.
Bin troo blizzers….sik all winner, skin all itchy-peely..an go crazee frum bein inside all da time.
Liek warm wedder bedder (!1!) so a hurrycane once in a wile iz good trade.
Well differmint strokes fur differmint folks. But itchy-peely skin nevah nocked down no howses!;-)
(troll on) Just make sure you don’t pack your kittehs into laundry baskets when you drive away… (/troll on)
LOL! An doan let them run wild in teh kar, either! However (and this is just a JOKE,ok) duct taape them to their seat and their ready to go!
it is tooo tooo bad win u haf to tel peeps it a joke!!
U nd Uze peepz oll okze?
Yup. Dere waz cunstruckshun on dat bridg, so ebrywun I know took a diffrnt wai.
Iz weerd, tho. I yoosd to liv right next to dat bridg.
i liv in teh Twin Cities, too. it cooda bin so much worse den it wuz.
my face prob’ly looked like dis lolcat when i herd about teh bridge dat day. my mom wooda bin on it at dat time if she wuznt out of town on bizniz. skerry skerry.
Me too, when I saw da footage on da noos, I wuz skeered an sad. Glad U peeps R ok, an prayin foar da missin wunz….
Construckshun on dat brij? Wuz nawt menshund on da noos…. hmmm..
two lanes wuz closed norfbound. dey wuz out dere wif jackhammers n stuff.
Ai wus on teh 3rd ave. brdge when teh haiway bridge went down. saw teh flams uf teh tanker truck burnin. had to make jiant steel sardines on te road to let mergency traffic thru center of teh bridge. Ai was an a hour lat gettin home, an mai daughter an hubby attack hugggd me in teh draiv way.
WOW!!! how skeery skeeyr dat wud be! Glad us ok!
Dis egzakly wy I muved bak to Owhyo from Palm Springs. We dont got near so much skeery wether.
Altho riding out a 3 or 4 temblur in a waturbed wuz kinda fun, akshully.
Hope u don’t live near Xenia – dat wuz rilly skeery wether!
No, I lifs up by teh Lake Eeeree. Big smooshy water effect mosly smooths out all teh rilly bad wether xcpt the okashunal laek-efect blizzurd, an then we jus stays home and drinks steemy bevrijes an snorgles teh kittehs.
laek-efect iz teh win! big floofy snoez en kitteh sit by windo tryin tu katchum. much phunnee.
Iz good cep wen u ventuly haz to go owt to wurk for cheezburgerz and kibble.
Then iz not so grate, ackshully.
eye liveded n San Fran 4 the norrijj qwake. muches bad ju-ju. nao eyem n FLA…trayded qwakes 4 big blowsies winds n rayns. kitteh acks de saym here…runs n hydes wen noiyses happenz. kthxbai
I bin in SF pritty much awl mai lyfe, and earfqwakes awaz maek me bolt 4 teh door. Mai howse is right on top uv teh Hayward Fault- sumday me and Mr. BG and kittehs fall into teh earf, lib wid teh Chuds.
B, qwakes is a freekee wai to wake up! Hope ur kittehs calm down soon. We had a 4.2 a cupple uv weeks ago, and mah kittehs climed up on top uv our heds!
LOL, when I wuz teenee b!, we libed in Fullerton. When da Sylmar kwayke hit, I thot ma kitteh wuz jumpin on ma hed. Nao I memmer she wuz nawt eben 6 munths old den, she musta been jumpin hard lol! Ma mom sed da appliences mooved frum der spots an she cuddent walk down da hall widout hittin wallz… An we wuz bowt 60 miles away frum center!
Sadly, I wuz awayk las nite when it hit. I wuz neerly reddy to go bed an seep all nite, den it hit, an I wuz waket up! I stayed wake all nite cuz I got nervussed by it… I get nervussed sumtimez an cant sleep cuz da clownz will eet me…. So I wuz bummed dat I cuddent get to sleep last nite
Sigh. I sleep tonite, mebbe….
PTSD – I haz it…
In Dec 93 or Jan 94, me an Willem wuz settin on da cowch, me readin, him nappin, tv on da Raiders vs da Chargers. Der wuz dis BUMP! Rite unner us, just a sorta jump up an down. WIllem wake up, I look at him. he look at me, we bof say, “yup, it’s comin”. He goz back asleep an I keep reedin. Liek 3 weeks later, Wham!!!
An we alwayz had aftershockers when da Raiders played da Chargers for liek 2 yeerz!
Weerdest ting? Da Kobe kwayke happen ZACKLEE one year frum NR! So weerd!
i ar living in feenix wher tehr ar no qwakes or turnatoes or hurkanezes…just rly long hawt summr taht startz in mid april and gets wurs until mid awgist and okazionuly inkl00dz dust stoarms taht luk liek big brown soonameez crshin ovur teh top of teh citi…sumtiemz is nice, sumtiemz is not so gret, aktuly
Kat fud is mayd frum WHUT?!?!?!?
u DO buhleevz me DON’T u?
I SEE DED CHZZBRGRZ.
I IZ LSD.
ZOMG…
*skweeks*
halp!
DAY I GOTTID REDBULL.
I can has wiiiiings?
I ent sleeped in fwee dayz…
Git me pilloze an blankey pleev… evrywun lubs blankey…
Kall clinik, i can has halpfull medakashunz, pleev?
Louis Wain, we needz yah teh paint dis kitteh, he puurfect subjeckt
holy two-toned irises, batman!
Kitteh sez “not mai pantz…barrohd from Lindzey Lohan”
Just Sai No, Kitteh.
If u blinks frist, u owez meh fwee chzburgrs an a cookie!
er, kitteh, mebbe you haz had enuf nao …
(Naratur): …an then teh kitteh hurd teh noyse owtside teh door come creepin closur…an closur…an closur…an then teh dornob startud to turn sloooooowly…and then teh door beginned to opun sloooooowly goin kreeeeeeek…an then –
TO BE KONTINEWED!!
GOOD NITE AN SWEET DREEMS!!
ooohhh…dat be meen, duffy!!! kitteh no cn sleeps nao…whut wz komin n da dore?? DO NOT WANT!!! kthxbai
Itz – itz – YORE IMAJINASHUN!!!!!
EEEK!!!
Nao DAT’S skeeree!!! LOL!
Kitteh can has cutoff noaw. no moar kitteh!
Roger Daltreh Kitteh can see for milez and milez and milez and milez……
Seez watz beehaind bloo eyez.
No one noes hwat itz lik to B teh bad kat, to B teh sad kat
Teh Hoo ftw!!!
ALL GLOREE TO TEH HYPNO-KITTEH!
Futurama reference FTW!
Gud nooz, eveywon!
Lissen Kitteh, u need halps!
U got a prblim, buddee!
Let mee halps u!
It gotta stawp sumwaers!
Ai run owt uv Red Bull… u has enny? No? U has enny cawfee? No? How bowt tee? No? Choklit? Cawfee beens? Jolt? Coke? Mowntin Doo? No? Dat ok, I cuttin bak on cafeens ennyway… um… but… mebbe u has a NoDoze? No?
(Grabs u by collar wid lil paws:) COME ON, U HAS TO HAS SUMFING!!!!!1!!
i lubs dat-can just see kitteh doin taht!
I can has cheezburger-shaped craft at next Flugtag?
YAY Flugtag FTW!!!!
Dat at da peer at umm, iz Bognor Regis? LOL!
Pliz to put cloze back on hoomin!! You hadz tu manny cheezbergas to walk roun nekkid.
I find yur extasy stash lolol
My retinae–let me show u them…
do ne of u guyz have kittehs? i have 2 they mi babyz, felix & fluffy not very original namez but i still luv them!!!!
lana, most of us has bebbehs…I gotx six of them…I iz teh krazie kat lady of mai neiborhud.
I gotz 3 rite now – if yu reeds ICHC a lot yu will be frends wif lotz of peeps who luv kittehs from all over teh wurld. An goggies too, an gimmeepigs and lolhamsters and mostly all livin things. Us kitteh-fokes alwaes reddy to tel storees about our fur children and this wun playse where other peeps wont luk at yu like yu weerd. (Or if they do, its k, cuz we all weerd togethur.)
yup, i gos 5 kittehs n 2 goggies-lufs bein able to tawk abuwt kitteh stuffs wit peeps whu innerstan-specialy ofer on da lolfrenz grup on Yahoo-goe cczechk it owt!
No kittehs in mah howse becuz hubby haz da lergiez. Himz almos goez to da hospitull wen we wuz datin, the lergiez getz so bad.
Firs tyme in mah lyfe I doan hab kittehz. Sumtymes I tellz him I mus lubs him an awful lotz to gib up kittehz fur himz.
(Befoar anybuddy haz hissyfitz, mai mom adopted my kitteh — so I getz to still see himz and snorgle his tuxedo belleh wheneber I want — an he is naoh 19 yeerz auld and berry healthee an moar spoiled than I eber spoiled him)
OMG!!! They killed Kenny!
yu bazturdz!
NEEDZ WINGS!
hit me agin waiter
this site so good coz can talk bout kittehs and like duffy said no 1 thinks ur weird. none of mi friends r cat ppl so they dont understand, niether is mi bro who is saying im wierd right now!!! lol
This is so funny! XDD
no! no more red red bulls for kitteh! will be up all nite
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thoz r mi red bullz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
wair u hides da catnip!!!!!!!!