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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
ZOMG!!! U haz th nyoo iFoam?!?! can ai tuch it!?!?! can ai?!?!
Not want shipped to Abu Dhabi!
wilful kitteh. . . iz in ur packin mentalitee
Oh, kitteh! U sweet enuff widowt superglooin sugr cubez to yur furz!!!
Candie coat’d kitteh crunchies! fail’d experymint frum willie wonkie’s factrie
i alwayz landz on mah feetz… no needs da cushens!!
Don’t worry about Stay Puft marshmallow man, I got ‘im.
Hyde and seeak gone wrong..
Count agen u stoopid hyumen!! AND NO PEEKING!!!
100, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95………
Mahrti…
Grabz ur calvinz clienz ans getz in da re-actavatur
Timez ta blows ur fur back!11!!!
Proof Tesla was right…
static cling cat
has been static clung
get out of my head
CHARLES !!! NOOOO !!! …
Okey i sorrie
It wuz adrest to u insted
kat-seekng marshmallws haz lockd on targetz
molten Gozer the Destroyer – do not want!
The super duper Army cat. What about one with bubble wrap?
For free-fall parachute trooper cats?
Admiral Byrdcat has just returned from an expedition to the Artic. Welcome home, kitteh.
btw – letting kittehs play in packing peanuts is not a good idea. they make one helluva mess and can eat the peanuts, which isn’t good for ‘em.
Some supervised play is OK.
Obvy this kiti is being supervised. But in general, yes, you are correct.
New StatiCat 3000! Tired of peanuts lying all over the floor? One sweep with the StatiCat 3000 and they’re off the floor and ON THE CAT!! Yes, using advances in bioelectric technology, YOUR house can once again be clean!!
Just rub the kitty backwards, and POOF!! packing peanuts are NO LONGER YOUR PROBLEM!!
New StatiCat 3000 has been sold for hundreds of dollars, but if you order right now, it’s only $19.95!! That’s RIGHT!! Just $19.95!! But wait, there’s more!! We’ll even throw in a StatiKitten! StatiKitten gets those hard-to-reach places behind your major appliances, where you thought absolutely NOTHING would fit!!
Satisfaction is GUARANTEED!! If StatiCat doesn’t meet your EVERY expectation, just send it back! You pay only the shipping and handling – and you keep StatiKitten as OUR GIFT!!
The Amazing StatiCat and StatiKitten! only $19.95 plus shipping and handling! CALL NOW!!!
Win.
Our operators are standing by!
. . . juss three eezy paymints!
BUT WAIT! Kall wifin the nex ten minits an we’ll maek wun paimint for yew!!
please allow, (if you’re still alive) 6 to 8 years to arrive!
please allow 4 to 6 weeks to arrive, 10 moneyback guaruntee, which of course starts right when we get your money, so you are out of luck when you actually get the product!
Double WIN!!!!
Wud mak grate Chrismas gift pakij, combynd wit a Chia Pet, a Pocket Fisherman, an maybee can of tha spray-on hayr. I taek 2, pleez!
spray-on hayr? spray-on FURZ methinks. oh and mebeh those really sharp nives. they can cut thru catfud cans and so teh kittehs not needs canopenurz!
… but still needs thumbs, tho. plan not so gud, aktually.
Iz troof dat our kitteh will chase teh balls unner teh sofa en behine teh cabinet & come out cuverd wif littel kitteh poofies dat will evenchully grow into new kittehs to chase teh balls &tc… we can has many kittehs dat way.
I can has StatiCat? Pllllllz?!
I hate packing peanuts.
PACKING PEENUTZ! DO NOT WANT!!
i can haz addishnul gift uv fansee nyves?! fer onee 5 moar dollrz?!
Found a peanut, found a peanut
Found a peanut laaaast night…
Dis teh sad result of letitin kittehs play in teh dryer wifout teh fabric sofner sheetz.
oh noes! fabrik sofner vry bad 4 kitteh. running kitteh in dryer ok of course!
^ check link for kitteh-dryer insanity!
TINK ob the LOLCATS!
K, I finlee fownd teh toity papur – gawd, I hatez teh mooving!
Too manee peenutz. Needz moar catz.
YES! win.
Nex time get delux mix, wid extree catshews.
. . . an catscarfs an catmittons an . . .
LOL!! or Win1!!
I is Chicklet Magnet…..
Did u rite FRAGILE on teh bocks?
I gotz tossded an turnded..
Outtta mah way..I’z gonna frow up!
Teh scene can be bess described as mayhem. Teh mayors of Pittsburg, Philadelphia, and Miami, along wif teh govmentz of sevral eastern and midwestern states indicated that teh Nashunal Gard may be marbilized at anee moment. At this hour, theez are teh faqs as we noes them. There is a epidemik of giant catz abduktin our pillowz. . .
U likes my Syracuse cammoflage?? Wurks fur 10 monthes a yere!! Iz nao can pwayz in wite floofy stuffzes n u cants cee me! nyah nyah!
U liv in Syracuse??? Me used 2 liv there. Mi kittehs hated snow. Sat in window – outdoor want – cold, wet snow – NO WANT!
Yep! Actually live in Moyer’s Corners -very near Oswego County line. My kittehs were brought up in NC & were much interested in snow when they first saw it – and again every year at first snow. But they’ve become complacent about the several feet of snow on the deck every winter. One spring, Ayla, Princess of Siam and ALL the Universe jumped into a pile of snow on the deck & in one movement (she realluy didn’t stop at all) jumped back in the house! I wish I had a a fast speed camera to record it and slow it down!
Where did u live?
Im done packin….time to clean up now (Original version)
i KNEW i’d seen this somewhere else before! thanks for the linkage!!
Dunno wy hyoomins make such big deel abowt marshmello – they verrah stickeh an not tase so good neether. *pleh*
Win! LOLZ!
akshully, mai kitteh LURVES teh marshmelloez. dey ar taystee and rollz gud on da hardwud florz.
“This Kitteh equipt wit reacktif armur playting, plz to be keeping back 200 feetz.”
I can has force field?
“I brake for tailgaters.”
Is it just me or has all the text on this page gotten bigger?
Hmmm … did u take the blue pill or the red pill?
Haha. No for reals…The lolpic is the same size but our comments are at least twice the size what they normally are.
I don’t wanna go down teh rabbit hole.
I always just shrink everything when I open the page – it’s all too darn far apart otherwise and takes forever to read that way. that’s why I started bolding stuff in the first place – shows up better when you shink the text to see everything
One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small, and the ones that mother gives you don’t do anything at all . . .
Jefferson Airplane ref FTW!!
sumtimz dat happenz by aksident. chek view->text size an make shoor itz at teh size u like. medium is normal size.
evverfing is fine on mai computer.
This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Look at his little feet, he’s got sno-shooz.
Can’t help but think MW4 on this one…
“zomg lazerz pew-pew!”
wha chu starin at? Is noo facshin. k?
Why u luk at me lyk that? Do I has somethin in my teefs?
Ikea kitteh has nao been assembled. Some parts still have teh static, tho.
LOL!
penuts bad nuff. but if u com close w dat allen wrench…
Homelanz Sekurity Kitteh sez ur packagez seem to be OK.
Now take shooz off and wolk thru skanner.
Sweet Swedish catnip!!11
Get Fuzzy FTW!
Kitteh has luuk on face liek he wuz watchin an open box with teh packing peanuts, and maybe some of dem moved a little from teh breeze as hoomin walked by, which triggered teh “It’s mooving–must pownse!!” reflex…a brown-striped fuzzy flash and kitteh is airborne, leaping in a graceful arc, body moving with a fluid smoothness from a fully extended release of the potential energy stored in a tightly-compressed spine, to a gently floating ball of Death From Above. All four legs grouped close together for maximum effectiveness, claws at the ready…Eyes bright, sharply-focused…tail gently, almost imperceptibly twitching, instinctive corrections to a near-perfect flight, and a quick inhale of breath in anticipation of the impact…there is nothing that will stop it now–a quick strike and victory will be…
*FWOOF*
A short column of packing peanuts marks the spot of entry; the only evidence that the room had previously been inhabited by a cat.
From the bottom of the box: “WTF? Dis not whut I thot…crapcrapCrapCRAP!! Lemme owt lemme owt lemme owt!! MrrroooowwwwrrrrrrDO NOT WANT!!!1!” A frantic flailing of limbs and a small explosion of floof and styrofoam–a clambering scramble to escape, rear leg hanging momentarily on the edge of the box, fueling the rising panic. A frenetic twist and the slipping of paws on a freshly-polished wood floor, and freedom is once again obtained.
“Oh hai, I chekked dat box foar U. Is emptee. Umm, not so grate, ackshully…”
heh heh, an it awl takes place in about 2.5 secondz.
breeeelyant!
TB? Is you studin teh fizziks again?
we are the borgkittens. resistpounce is footile
GHARRR
Ah am Lolkyootus of teh Borgkitteh! Phear mah trollish hive mentality! Let’s all jump on teh Borg bandwagon!
footile??? Is dat anyfing like a futon??? Mebbe for teh floor??
tiled footon, pleh – dey’r hard enuff awlfreddee!
toofless, footloose troll – dey’r hardass! BE AFRAID
I can’t bleeve I’m the first to say this, but
“In Soviet Russia, packing peanuts have you…”
In Soviet Russia, packing peanutz are broken vodka bottles. Cuz it’s all dey has.
OH noes, think of teh lolbottles!
In Soviet Russia, peanuts pack you!
In Soviet Russia, we saves packing peanuts to make borscht wif, when we doan gotz no meat.
Yes, it’s twoo.
Magnet Kitteh is attractive
(plink .) (plink plink plink plink plink…)
i fink we cooda used dem packing peanuts here in Minneapolis teh other day. if we had bajillyuns of packing peanuts under da bridge, mebbe it woodnta fell down and nobody wooda bin hurted.
Oh Noes! U lives in teh Minn? We is all sorry for teh peeps who got stuck in dat mess–wurdz not enuff to describe teh suck. Hopes it turns owt dat dere not as many peeps hurt as dey originally thot. Rilly hopes dat is nawt anny of ur frendz or fambly. Verry skerry.
We saw intervews on CNN las nite with peepl who were in da collapse or helped resq peepl, or saw it frum da water, etc.
Sorry dat happend to youse.
Dey’re checkin bridges here in Indiana nao I guez.
Dey be checkin all of teh briges in Florida, too…..jus tu bad peeps gotta die afore teh goberment will do ennyfing…jus sayin’..
Chekin brijes uv Californyer bay area 2, and most of dem r unsayfe. Iz troo, gubmint heer kin reakt to disasters, but doesn’t do much 2 prevent ‘em…
Chekkin here in nyc too – an they all haff teh same struxral issues. Years ago, an engineer fren told me teh manhattan bridge is the worst – but the plan is to pay off all the wrongful def suits after it kollapses. Cheeper then rebuilding before teh collapse. Datz when i left brooklyn an moved to manhattan (teh subway, MY subway, was causing the problemz). Sigh.
you in SF bay area too??? Where at? I’m in Tracy now, but used to be in Walnut Creek
Tracy? Kewl.
I in Pleasanton.
Ai’m in El Cerrito, just norf uv Berkeleeee.
OWCH! I’z glad u wuddnt hurtded. My ♥ goes out to dose peeps…
Yes ma’m, fer sure.
Mai kittehs offr many snorgles and floofs and muchas smuchas to the peeps of Minneapolis. All so so sorry.
fanks, evverwun. nobuddy i knew wuz on it, an dat is a big releef. but iz sad fer all does peepul who died or wuz hurt and dere famblies.
The looming question is: Who can we trust to keep our bridges safe for us? (Not to mention all the other places we travel over!)
Should send it to ’stuff on my cat.’
I rly needed dis laff 2day. Thanks static kitteh!!!
Kitteh gonna have reactive litterbox before too long.
My cats would, anyway.
One would.
He’s not too bright.
Dis remines me of da one kitteh dat had udder stuff on himz, lyke he was a rolling ball gettin bigger as he rolled? Reference to a video game i tink?
Katamari!!
Static is SUCH a bitch!
Love your blog
Did teh loldog put da statik on kitteh?
Pleh! DO NOT WANT!!
Kitteh vizited honted howse, got cuvvered in ghost poops!
LOLBOOOOOO!!!
Kitteh just beat te stuffin out of some box.
Win! He boxd the box!
Look on kitteh fase sez, “Mommmeee…halp? Kwit laffin an halp?”
aktuly kitteh face sez i reilly n 10 ded 2 do dis
kitteh nebr add mitt mztaks
kitteh face sez ‘huh? nu-uh, mommee, i dinint go in teh box, wat cuud posibulee maik u fink that??!! btw, der r no cheezburgerz in dair.’
…any mor (nom nom nom)
Do I has somthin on mah face?
I wish this were a video. I want to see the kid walk a few steps… before some kind person de-peanuts him/her. (We used to call that stuff “diet popcorn”.)
Statik elebemuktri$hities. I hab themz.
notsogrt, akutally.
Dis remin me uv a myf. In da myf, kitteh maeks monster count him hairs so monster wont have tiems to eatz him hoomanz (monster culd not stayz owt pas mornin). Dis must be modern renditions with penutz, not as guud as the originalz of course.
uhhhhh….. duud u gotz somtin on ur head… and bellie… and… taill….. and harblz
Kitteh wawlkz by bawkz
Weerd liddil kritturz leep owt
Kleeng 2 strypee fur
Weerd liddil kritturz
lykz 2 hangz owt wiif Kitteh
Duzzn’t seem 2 mynd
Kritturz wisspurr 2
Kitteh juss beefoar thay fallz
awf. Sum may return
Jack.
x-kitteh magnetoz worldz dominationz went badz.
Bleh. Dis popcorn stale.
Catbus is transportin big lode uv lil passinjers.
wut you mean you gotz proof that iz marshmallow burglr ??
Look like armor reacitvized with kittee in ungood way.
Nobody gots dis one yet?
MOSHUN CAPSHUR KITTEH!
makin kitteh video game
LOL YUS! I iz animashun majorz, I gets it.
….cheep bastids……Why can’t you just buy a pet carrier like NORMAL people???
Kan’t belieeve u boughted me on Ebay!
FINALLY! It iz mah kat finally arrihved!
“Uh…I haz made mess…yoo might wana klean dat up beh fo’ it getz err’where…kthnxbyez!”
that is soooo cute
The worst case of dandruff EVER.