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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
ummmm. Ihas teh poor I needz teh ovartyme. I taek ur shift kitteh!
Whut i’z doin xaktly?
Harblz? WHAT?!?!
Nevar mindz doant needz it dat bad….
M – how do I make an account w/ photo icon, again?
Goto wordpress.com and create proflie. Hell i been drainkin..but yeth goto wordpress.com u gotz teh smrt… you just uploaod a pic from ur pikture but… it do taek a lil bit for pic to show up….
OMG r u gonna do a troll? I’d rather see u dressed up as a munkee..
*handscoveringeyes* wish stend wuz a munkee, wish stend wuz a munkee …
*openeyes* stend IZ a munkee!!!1!!
sry, littl raskuls momunt. : )
i just laik seein da wurd “munkee” in lolcat. givez mee da giggulz!
OMG I luvs teh lil rascals! I been tryin to find clips onn utubez but alas nuffin.
jus lil stoopy bitz.. i wanna see epinsodes!
Spankee as a lil lil boi..goin bug huntin..
and teh birfdai caek. wif evefing innit..makin goofi noyses..comin outta teh ovin.
*sigh* memriez as a lil gurl befoar skool…
OK: so I set up as stendtrollhalismo at wordpress so I can start leaving comments like
“I hope you all realize that letting kitties play around hard desk edges like the one in this photo can be hazardous to their health – if there was an earthquake, kitty would pitch forward and knock all his teeth out, which happens all the time – I know this because I am a LEGAL PROFESSIONAL, and I KNOW BEST – SENSIBLE PEOPLE KNOW that if you have kitties in the house, you need to pad EVERY hard edge and NEVER let kitties play near furniture”
but I guess it’s not activated yet?
testing … TROLL … TROLL … testing … TROLL … TROLL …
PS: I told you both twins were evil, right?
PSS: GHAAARR I IS A TROLL !!! FEAR ME!!! GHAAARR!!!
but u sed u picked teh wun wit teh pinkness….. onlee ting of pinkness dat is trulee skery is barbee.
oh, and teh conj….cong….pink eye.
oh don’t worry. this photo is like the construction worker from the village people of troll dolls – it’s scary on MANY LEVELS
GHAAARR!!!
yes summtime it taek a lil bit.. jus meak shure u goto wordpress an log on dere befoar u goto ICHC…i has teh sweeppee gonna go sweepee nao.. i♥♥♥♥ lurve u guise…
um, exkuze mee, stend”troll”ismo, but u oviusly dont have teh kittehs’ well-bein at hart, cuz u did nawt menshun that reesponsibul kitteh owners shul NEBBAR let ther kittehs neer ENNY ELEXTRIKUL ITUMS WUTSOEVAR beekawse kittehs may get elextrokewted or sum dam thing blah blah blah BLAH BLAH BLAH!!11!!1!@!!
GHAAARR!!! it’s working!!! GHAAARR!!! GHAAARR!!! fear my self righteous trollyness !!! GHAAARR!!!
OK: I better practise my troll routine:
“I cannot BELIEVE someone would glue kitty’s paws to the table JUST to get a lolcat picture – do you people have NO SYMPATHY for the lolcats involved? lolcats have VERY TENDER paws and this is NOT acceptable – PLEASE, if you need to hold kitty’s paws in place for a lol’cat photo, I beg of you, PLEASE use double stick tape instead !!! tender kitty paws are injured this way EVERY DAY !!!
OMG YES!!! never let kitties near batteries either!!! or off the floor!!! wrap them in cotton floof and tape them to the sofa for their own protection!!!
GHAAARR!!! fear my ironic display of non gratuituous trollyness!!! fear it!!! GHAAARR!!!
NOEZ! sry stend, but ur troll iz stil nawt kwite ryte. ur troll b filled wit da phunnee! an ai iz laffin! thearfoar, it caint b rite! ^_^
p.s. – luv da fraze “ironic display of nongratuitous trollyness!” iz fillin mai hed wit da phunnee!!1!1!!!
Stend, u are clearly over reacting. Kitteh clearly is not glued to table–kitteh clearly has pawz stapled to teh table. U knowz, 15 years ago or so I may have done something liek this, but nao I iz far superior to allz of u, so I won’t.
OMG you’re right !!! clearly kitty’s paws have been nailed to the table – you can see the nail head on the left paw, and look at kitty’s expression of pain – he’s trying so hard to put on a brave face for the photo but you can just see the tears welling up !!! I know because I used to do things like that 200 years ago before I turned into a giant troll, but now I know better !!!
oh noes!!! think of the lol’cats!!!
k, i luvs teh ‘gharrrrrrrr’, an teh trolloliness is defnly ironikal (an saef fur kitteh’s yooz!), but i still findz it gratooituss.
nawt dat der’s annyfing rong wif dat. i purrsonallee has teh altur ego “Gargantuann”, an mah favrit frayz as such is “Gargantuann SMASH!!!”
(Dis awltur ego iz resrvd fur teh cupl weekz bfoar a major ebent – i duz a littul ebent plannin as part uv mah jobbee – an I offen has 2 smash n conkur durren dis tiem. Wuz devel – debul – caem arownd wen ah wuz plannin mah wedding… F*** dat wussee Bridezilla – Gargantuann SMASH! Heh heh heh.)
…So ah sympafyz, Stendtrollololhalismo, but iz still gratooitus.
Thx, stend and turkeyburger and gothkitteh and melissa and whutevr the hell this $3 Italian plonk I just got from Trader Joe’s is made of. Bad day all gone. Feel betteh nao.
you’re welcome !!! revel in the trollyness !!! you’re soaking in it !!! also, the chocolate ration has been increased to 20 grams !!! I am a legal professional !!! fear my trolly rages !!! GHAAARR !!!
I just cackled….out loud.
Hey Stend.. will you please just come live with me for the phunnies??? I wish to see you dressed as a pink troll.
Stend, I thinks u needs to keep both identities. U could be liek teh Jekyll and Hyde of ICHC–or maybe teh Hulk, except funneh.
Create blog upload avatar.. from ur pics….I has teh buzzzzz.
OK: can anyone tell me how to add a troll photo to my wordpress account?
Doncha gots summa pithurss on ur PC? u kin upload ur pichurs..
testing… TROLL one two… testing… get that cat out of the drier… testing… TROLL… TROLL…
Dammit, u r killin me heer… haff 2 go li down naow coz of stummik mussels hurtin frum laffin…
Hang in der, bebe, Caturdayz comin!!!!
i werk fer house of repezentativs!
Whatchoo means it 15 minutz untils Cats In The Citys?
I’s Alarm Kitteh
Tim to wayk up!
I pats fluffy snooz button an go bak to seep.
Ooooo, dat no workz! Alarum kitteh will git on yur chest, an tickl ur fayc wif himz wiskrz. Den will turn roun, poot in yur fayc, den try to ketch da bed mice!
U up nao? lol!
OMGWTF!1111! – Almos splattred mouthful ob toMAto juic on lptop screen NO WANT!!!
me lucky — not have kitteh poot in face to wake meh up.
My kitteh Calliope (1974-1982 — “after 20 years he still grieves”) — she smart – kitteh wake me by sittin on Mom’s bladder. 8 lbs in da morning – Mom go to b-room – Calliope says “Mom awake — pls feed me NEOW!!! K – thnx!”
Calliope wid’ Mom before Kittehs know about Cheezburges…
in Soviet Russia, Aleksandr poot in.
Y kitteh do dat? Iz not nyce. I has hyooj kitteh, 21 pownz, if she do dat, she gunna get wet! Hyooj kitteh juss sit by bed en go ROOOOWWRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWMMMMMEEEEEEEEERRROOOOOWWWWW den I sit up en go SHUT IT, YU! en she go mew? en I go *sigh* en git up en feed kittehz, den bak tu bed.
y my tags not werk? kitteh goez [cuteface] mew? [/cuteface] did dat werk?
Yes, kittehs kno how to wake us upp! My kitteh Twerp wud push stuff off beside table – glasses, clock, books, til Mom got up to snorgle her and gib her mor fud. Daisy walks on Mom’s fayce and plays “katch!” wid Mom’s eyelashes.
And den, evry once ‘n a while, Mom hears sumthng go “CRAAASHHH” downstars, and gits out of bed! Kittehs say “Oh, solly wee knok plant ober. Rly solly! U stil luv us??? – Gud! giv us morning cheezburgr now… kthx” (Much rubbin’ Mom’s legs when saying this) Mom sighs, feeds kittehs, go back to bed saying “I didn’t really need that plant/vase/glass/dish/spice jar/teapot anyhow…”
Pls snorgle yr Kitteh for me. K thnx bai
Nuthin wakes yu up faster than a 20-pound cinderblok sittin on yer chest makin teh luvey-paws. Onlee snooze-buttin that wurks is to have pakij of treets close at hand, and give treets to make the big guy go away…can yu say “positiv reinforsemunt”?
B!’s rite – pattin floofy snooz buttin only mayks himz stand in ur face & myeowwr kitteh breth in ur nose! (Tanks goodns for CPAP machine – mai nose is cobered wif mask!) Ayla, Princess of Siam and ALL the Universe pix up harmony line in Siamese n i noe can git baks to sweep!
O, I iz luckee, mah kitteh curlz up awn meh an purrz as hard as himz cans, to waeks meh up. Iz teh best wae to waeks up eber! Teh “purree furree bukkits uv luv brekkfrist waek-upz cawl”.
How SWEET!!
me time travellah, dis be mah ship!
tyme travl ship b CATDIS? Kitteh travel wid’ Dr. MEOWHO????
I demands cheezburger and a half for overtime
or
to much cute for an 8 hr day
I can haz kleen desk award? Gift kard to McCheezburgerKing!
Quit takin mah pikshure and feeds meh. It’s waaay pass supertiemz!
“U punsch tha clok, too skaerd ta punsch Ur bawss.”
overtym kitteh needz Ded Kennedehz..
TINA, ware is ur avatar???
oh kitteh, me toos! is much pleh. must… stawp… ichcing… sigh
yess, but overtiem iz stil teh kwolitee tiem wen yu iz plottin teh ovrtrow ov hugh manitee.. . . omg. i can haz nyoo screen naem! Hugh Manatee. aka Mr. Seacow.
u iz endanjerd! watch owt! (i hopez trolls iz nawt a predatur uv da jentil seecow!)
GHARRR!!!
ai sware ta gawd, as soon as interweb accepts ‘hugh manatee’ as a new identitee, there’ll be a really really funny comment appearing heer thare an everware. srsly.
i has to plot ovurtrow??? crap. i has a lawt to do.
Hugh Manatee is great screen naem. I is thinking about being Hugh Jarse…
Overtime cat has to work Caturday
OH noes! Caturday is holiday! kittehs don wurk on Caturday!
mebbe nonbeleever kittehs do
Good kittehs haf ta bee in temple
Tym 4 chzbrgrs? Wat u meen chzbrgrs not til sebun? To lawng 2 wayt!!1!
sit on copyor m’shene, take piktur, rite “I’z kwitses” on it an tape to boss’z chrome an blak pleathur chayr.
Iz koneko’s kitteh. watchin th clok foar wen they get bak from wurk, so kitteh can go play wiv loaded gun, lighter fluid, matches, iShufflez an firewurks under gas pedal in th kombi.
LOL! an runz wit sizzers, 2! ^_^
GHAAARR!!!
an Stend!! hullo! howz ur bean?
I’ve turned into a giant cross between a pornstar’s flying monkey and a pink troll !!! GHARRR!!! fear me !!! GHARRR!!! GHARRR!!! GHARRR!!!
sry, make that the flying monkey to an internationally fabulous pornstar crossed with a giant pink troll !!! GHARRR!!! GHARRR!!! GHARRR!!!
o hullo gothkitteh! how freekishness. ai haz juss red dat thred foar da furst tyme naow an iz teh funneebutpaynful awlstar. pmslol @ COMEDY. UR DOIN IT RAWNG. iz da bomba kawl, u knoz wot ai meem?
thnx v much! ai tryed an tryed nawt to feed da troll, but finly ai jus gived up an entered da fray. MELEE!!!1!!!
I’m srsly going to have to go back thru that thread, but for quotes this time
I am a troll, and a legal professional, and a troll !!! fear me !!! GHARRR!!!
o lawdee. ai juss trundled thru it sprinklin trollseed librallee, but ai no tink day kum bak. iz problee kowched owt wiv kollekshun ov jerry falwell portratz an sooveneerd celebritee snotragbag wotchin “The Best Ads in The Highly Successful War on Drugs Campaign 1983 – 2003. Roe v Wade Iz A Travesty Edition”. An a reel leegal purrfeshinul wudnt annownse it lyke dat. A legal purrfeshinul ov konsekwense wud juss get ur muther to send yu a signed affidavit staytin that, yes, thay did &%!!# her.
if s/he duz coemz bak, tho, we gonna has to lissen – or at leest skip obers – sum lawwwwwwwwwnga$$ posts. u noes itz troo. but wif sten praktissin himz troll rooteen, we shud b okays… mad comix goes interweb… troll vs troll!
An not floss teefs so get jinjeevitus!
Oh, hai! I resets ur alarm foar u. Instead of teh 6 am u nao wakes up at teh 6 pm.
Whut? U is not nockturnal too?
O.
Kthxbai.
Holy cheezburger! I finally gots a submishun into ICHC! Dat’s it, my life iz complete, I now retires to play wif my fluffy minions of doom. Heh. I really likez saying “fluffy minions of doom”
Do fluffy minions of doom require snorgling? Or something more sinister?
trolly snorgling !!! GHARRR!!! GHARRR!!! GHARRR!!!
ha ha – Dustbunny, u can haz an ‘ai submitted to ICHC. . . an lubbd it!’ vegan-lether ayprin.
Yeth, fluffy minions of doom require much snorgling. If dey don’t gets it, dey turns you into filet minion! BwaaHaahaaa.
“minions of doom” ^_^
iz laik butterz az prufessur kaos, wit hiz frind az jenerul disarray! “ai will drown da hole wurld by lettin da gardin hose run … an nawt shuttin it off! bwahahaha!!!1!!1!
hiz minionz wuz jerbls, ai think. kewtness!
OMG!?!??!? WTF!>?!?!?>!?
ai can haz 6th grader doing impersinashun of dr evil doing impreshun of professer kaos!?!?!?
http://www.uk.youtube.com/watch?v=mnVTxgorD6I
Congrats Dustbunny!!!!! Wel dun.
Yay, Dustbunny! … neow u membr of ICHC Hall of Fame, or Wall of Shame, or Pass the Blame, or Hey, I’m Game! or … whatever … anywayz, feelz gud, doan it? Kinda all tingling like. Congrats!
Oh, so dat’s what dat tingling feeling is! Whew. I iz relieved iz not that little medical problem coming back
I heer dey has oyntmints 4 dat tingling naow…
I is still teh jelluss. Mah seventy-bajillion submissions must nawt have teh funneh. Oh wells, I keeps trying…
Doan give up — I makez da bajillion submissions too. Many timez me finks dis one reeeally got teh funneh, but it duzn’t get picked. I was finking mebbe dey doan take submissions from Gordon’s LOLcat builder no more becuz sometimez da picshurs on dat site are very PLEH. But I no use PLEH picshur. I only use da kewt pics.
actually, they said ‘teacher/ legal professional’, so I for one am betting she’s a failed aerobics instructor who took a class at the learning annex
OK: so I just got a call from a telemarketer and could not resist – I shouted BLARGGG!!! I ARE A TROLL – GAHHRRR!!! into the phone, and hung up – they’re probably still wondering what happened ;o)
Dey prolly gaevs u a “win!!!” fur maekin dem lol.
He sertainlee getts a “WIN!!!1111!1″ fur maeking MEE lol.
ZOMG!!1! Classic telemarketer brush-off! I calls for all ICHCer’s to use this to ward off all unwanted phone callz!
I’m gettin tonz uv politikal groops callin me 4 donayshuns, I’ll haff 2 yooz dat wun on dem.
“GAHRRRR, TROLLZ DON’T SUPPORT YOUR NON-TROLLISH PLATFORM, BLARRGGG!”
o gawd, den twenny cammpain volunteerz is gunna hafs to sit arownd fur foar owrrz diskussin hao “we rly needz to b reechin owt to da troll demmuhgrafik”.
Why do I suddenly knowez whut ur gonna dress up as this coming Halloween?
Heerz a guud wun
dem: Hi, I’m kallin frum dis charitee, we wanna
me: *drops phone*
me: o sorree, I dropt de fone, cud yu repeet?
dem: ok, I’m kallin frum
me: *drops phone* OOPS
dem: r yu ok?
me: shur I’m fyne, I *drops phone* #$@%&
dem: klik
me: LOL!
LOL! dat’s even beddar dan seinfeld: “i’m bizzee rite naow, givez mee ur numbar an ai’ll call u l8r!”
Stare at klok and count bak frum 10
U r under mah powurz
U r feel sleepi
U r do as i sez
….
Svengalikitteh sez “Tonite u will sings laik a anjell!”
Trilby referense FTW!
Wuz beginin to tink ahl dese tousands uv peeples an nobuddy hurd uv Trilby!
this wunz fur tha laydeez. bwa ha.
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=hjnC-QBf6ps
haff bin postin az hugh manatee but iz nawt showin up yet. Kitteh Carryall iz bustin ma balz. martian martian martian.
Ooh yes, I lubb submishun…erm…wait…nevermind. Move along folks, nuffing to see here….
Kitteh no needz klawk
Kittehz duu whut Kittehz duu
Wiffowt feeleeng bad
Goez 2 skool Owtside
Lurnz by waycheeng an allwayz
beeng kurriuss
Sleepz froo owt t3h Day
Duz wutebbur Kittehz duu
at nyte. Lyfe iz gud!
Jack.
Beautiful littel kitteh face. Kewt esspresshen.
Snorgle meh, hims sez.
Poor wage slave kitty, plz to get in tuch wit union rep kitty.
ai kan haz compootr geeks from War Games? ai can has cheezy posts? the enter key. . . it duz nothing. heeeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeee heeeeeeee llooooooooooooooo llooooooo llooooo lloooo.
i noes how kit feyls — dat wuz me las week.
BUT TODAY WE SLEEPS IN!!
(er yah so wy am i awayk, agen?)
Sigh! Pour kitteh! Must werk more 4 cheezburger. 9 howers of nap, eat, kleen butt, pounce on dust bunnie, nap, eat, kleen paws, potty, kleen butt, nap, lett Mommie snorgle fir 10 mins, eat, nap, nap, kleen back.
6PM!!!!! werk weeek ober!!! Katurdai here I commme!!!!!!!
Kitteh get tym an a haff
But stres dribin kitteh crazee
Kitteh taikz vakashun dayz
Wage slave cat need to contakt union rep and file greevince.
Here I iz in teh offis on Sumday…I don mine so much if I can has ICHC to pass teh time. Can I haz dis kitteh to play wid tu?
Oh – teh wurk stuff. Getting it dun. Rite.
dis be guuhd une.