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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Ooooh bad kitteh. Mashin up all teh paperz
I luvs this!!!
Me prakteseen 4 dah day I return to da wildz- dis be how I hunt da land tunas! Da wildebeefstewz! Dah fanceevittlebeesties! Raow!!1!
Okay wer mai lunch? plzkthx..
If my kittehz did this…
Okay, if my kittehz did this I would have a slightly messier bathroom and three kittehz whom I would love not one tiny bit less. But I would not be pleased.
I JUS CAUGHT MAH KITTEH UNROLLIN ROLL DIS MORNIN, JUS GLAD IT DIDNT LOOK LIEK DIS!
… 0 down? 54 costco wholesale box of tp to go!
When mah puppeh wuz younger he would nab teh loose end of teh roll and flee with it. I would get out of teh shower and dere would be a string of TP going out the bathroom door, up the stairs, and into the living room where he would be nom nomming and den luk up at me (usually with bits of TP stuck to his noze) liek “whut? How did you finds me?”
oh, mai preeveeus kitteh (boots, rest him soul), wuz kuRAYzee fer de payperz on da rollz. ai kudnt leef enny payper towlz or toylettpayperz owt or ai’d kum hoem to mess lyke dis. i luffed him vurry much, but i wuz mad sumtymes. ai misses him. :’(
Where’s the golden ticket?!
Public Servis Nounsment: nyew reesurch indacates that teh inhalation of shreded toylet tishu ar linkd to obstrukshun of teh airway, whyl injeschun leeds to indajeschun an konstapayshun. Boath r theirfor kontra-indakated.
“we innerukt deez LOLs foar a portent messij”
insert Kitisitr nounsement heer
“we nao returnz u to ur regalr ichc to enjoi da rest ob da LOLz”
i lurbs ur pub. ser. nounsments, Kit! u rock!
But if you eats teh TP…
Are you saving a step?
*headdesk*
gud ting i no at werk todai. i loled hard at dis.
ROFL and Eeeeeeeewwww!!!
I TOLES u to gif meh teh cheezburgr or ud reegrett itz!!! U reegrettin it nao, aincha!?!?!!!
Oh plz. Don’t gif meh dat craibebeh crap… u shud b glad I din’t poop in ur shooz.
Wassup wif teh time zones, ennywayz? Is dis saight based in Owyhee?
Yop, it is based in Hawaii. Cheez an Tofu lib dere. Wen I gotz mai ICHC buttons, teh return address was all “HAWAII” an I was all “Dood! I yam jellus. Want mai-tai!”
yar we ar in huwuyee… if we keep time in PDT it makes mah brain melt.
Kool dat! Hilo mai home aweigh frum home. (Noes, not rich, jus luckee).
An Owyhee time teh BESSTEST, u doan needs 2 risk brain melt wif ennee ting elses .
Ooooooh!!!! Dat a meanie kitteh!!!!! Kitteh bee in much troublez eff dun dis at muh howse.
One of mai kittehs does this to all kinds of paper. I find teensy bits all over if I leave teh junkmail where he can get it.
<—can totally relate to teh owner of above lolcat.
one of mai kittehs EATZ da paypur. getz up undar da tp rowl and den NOMNOMNOMs littl bitz off da end. weerd kitteh.
My last kitty had special fondness for cheques!!! Used to pull tiny bits off & spit them out everywhere.
Is separation anxiety mayhaps?
Not necessarily. Some kittehs just love to shred.
mai kitteh will tear up an spit out teh paper in front of me. He donnot care at all.
Don worry, momma. I is saved teh howse from teh paper monster. I is gud kitteh, want only cheezburger reward. Kthxbye.
OH……..hai.
Ummmm…I maded ur TP eezier to use.
Jus pik up a peese or 2, u doant hafta be rolloin an rollin offa da roll..
Whassamattirwifit?
nk den……..*run under bed an stay for while..*
a breif moment in the life of that kitteh:
^
v
Shredder kitteh’s in ur howze, shreddin ur toilet papurz.
stasi kitty sez “shred faster, the allies are cumin”
faster pussycat, shred shred
very much win for that. thankyoo.
my kismet kitty in a nutshel….. zomgz…. only she shreds papertowels.
Yez! Mai Oranj kitteh Daisy thinks she Martha Stewcat.. She lovingly turns mah booring plain tp into loverly “lacey” tp! Now Mom hides tp in box by deh loo!
I lived in a modified studio apartment in Massachusetts with three cats, and one day, they got together and said, “weer in stef’s bafroom, playin wif her toylett payper”. There was toilet paper from the front door to the back door and it took me three days to clean it up! After while, it was funniez, but at the time, stef was pissed (pun intended)
lolz poor Stef. Kitiz had der funz, yeth!!
When we were moving into the house, we locked Kismet in the bathroom so the movers didn’t accidentally let her out.
When the movers were finally gone and we went to check on her, we found she’d unrolled the entire roll of TP onto the floor, and was sleeping on it like a nest. It was too cute to be mad about.
BLAAARRRrr…..*sigh wistfully*
Left mai kitteh locked in the house wifout a litter box once. Came back to find she had peed in the bathtub (rigiht over the drain) and had pulled down a little nest of tp, used it for #2, then pulled down more to bury it! Whatta good kitteh…
I lubs it wehn teh kittehs tries to be good & make doo (pun intended) wif a second-best plase, bless tehr bebe harts.
I axidently shut teh dor to teh littur-box rume wunst an wen to wirk – wen I got bak, Tux had held it all day an met me at teh door complainin, then rusht to use teh box; Emerson hadn been abel to hold it but – such a gud boi! – had used teh bathtub upstayres insted.
Wow, dat IS a gud kitteh! Smart, 2!
Sadly, mai Mambo thinks dat teh mikrowave door is a gud playse 2 pee.
Oi, hwen ai ferst moovd in mai haus, teh heet ventz wur all nastee liek cuz teh old ohnerz kittehz had yousd dem fer litter boxes… it were most grossssness.
bad owhnerz…. kitteh shoulda peed on yous!
naow i no can has kitteh in mai partment but I lovers dem kitteh sooo! thx icanhascheezburger!!!!
Ooooooooooooooooooooh my.
Oh my oh my oh MY.
Kitteh sez, “Man, dat commershul wuz rite! Dis IS teh softest brand! K, u can put it awl bak on teh roll naow, I’m off 4 a snak. Layturz!”
kitteh needs to joyn TPKA (toilet paper killers annomymous) and fast!
not sure if it’s seperation anxiety… toilet paper murderin’ kitteh looks a lot like ma friend rose’s bengal kitteh…. who wubs to KEEEEEELLLLLLLL stuff…. makes me think rose has zombie shoes cuz shoes get KEELT over and over and over and over…. KEEEEELing stuffs seems to be a bengal bebeh hobby….
fur a single purson, i gows fru lot n lot of tp. Mai golen retriever n mai ungest kitteh compeet wi eech oder to see whu can tare up da most rolls. I has to keep it under da sink in da bafrum, wit childpruf lock in it.
Mai greythounds did this to a box of Tampax … once. For months I wud find littl shredded tubular things undr furnitur.
gives nue meanins to “spittin dust”.
Woo! I has bery bisy dai todai. I mus rest naow. I has a bisier dai pland tomory.
Sheryl Crow Kitteh say: 2 stop teh global warmingz, uze just 1 peece. I maded enuf peeces 4 teh everybody. Which 1 u want?
Global Warmin Skeptik kitteh sez “dey did not killz this tree properly. Diz is how you killz a tree.”
We had a stripy kitteh hoo liked teep tu, but he dint shred it – just sat onna toylit seet and went pat, pat, pat an watcht it unroll.
Dint take it ennywer, dint drag it thru teh hows, just pat, pat, pat, unroll, unroll, unroll. No mor? Ok, all dun. I go find sumfin els tu du now.
Had tu put it so it unrolled down teh BAK, an I don LYKE it dat wai.
But better dat wai den onna flor.
Now I have an old Dolly Parton song stuck in my head.
“Three rolls down
I’m rollin’ and scratchin’ and having a party
Three rolls down
While those silly humans ain’t around
They’ll be grateful that I’ve killed this dang’rous TP
Nine rolls to go ’cause I’m
Just three rolls down”
Couldn’t find lyrics for that song ANYWHERE.
(Original lyrics:
Three doors down
They’re laughing’ and drinkin’ and havin’ a party
Three doors down
They’re not aware that I’m around
Here I am, just crying my heart out feelin sorry
While they’re having a party
Just three doors down)
ARGH… couldn’t find lyrics because the party was only TWO doors down.
I feel sooooooooooooooooooooo dumb.
O hai! I iz get ready fer Noo Yeers many early. I has alredy did the confetees.
Plz get heelimum soz can did balloonz. K? Thxbai.
OMG SO CUTE !!!</B
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jackszwergold/981554611/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jackszwergold/981554587/
ZOMGPONIES!!!
Happee Shawppeeng Day!
Beeg Gye bringz a Huje Twellb Pak
Phun 4 ebbeewun
Kleer stuff kutz eeezee
Wunse t3h furst role arz poppt owt
Kitteh Nirvana
Lawng Soff Stuff unrolez
awl akrawst t3h floar. Kittehz
programmd 2 attakk
Klawz shred Lawng Soff Stuff
Floatz lyke Budderflyz awn t3h
breez. Blissful Kittehz!
Jack.
i luvz it win mommee an daddee gooz out 4 teh niyt!!! i can blaym it on teh dum doggee………….YIPPEEEEE!!!!!
My kitty shreds tp too, but only if it’s sitting around, not on the roll. (thank goodness!) Sometimes I give her a roll to shred just so she can have fun with it. Giving her a whole package, wow that would be like the best kitty birthday present ever!
OMG I thought my cats were the only ones guilty of that stuff. I have to hide the toilet paper in the cabinets.
Dis is wut u git fur maykin meh wach dat toilit trayn ur cat videoh.
ROFL!
CBSB, we missed u!
Hi BG!
Fanx! Luking fur werk is reelly a bee-atch! I’s been missn u guise lyk crayzee.
CBSB, i iz luking fur noo werk too. had two interviews, bof sukted. pleh!
Good to see u heer agin, CBSB. Haz bin missin u. Obveeusly u is lukin fur werk hard! Dat is a gud and responsible fing. But wen u takes a brake, pls to come see us, K
And, C&T, gud luks to u in deh jawb serch crappiness, too!
how’s that goin’?
Job serchin is teh PLEH. Iz liek a blind dayte ober and ober and ober agin.
I red sumware dat u shud carry a cinnaminaminamon stik wid u on job serch an it bring gud luk! Srsly! (No garanteez, but it cudn’t hert…)
May kittehs luv da cardbored roll demselves. Dey beg meh fur it an I taykes sizzors an cut off intch-long rund peeces. Dey go crayzee an chays al aroun.
hai cbsb! how iz u doin? How da jub hunt?
Hi 3rin!
I has wun puter dat crashis wen I’s tries 2 yuse Werd (fur mah rezoomays) an den mah neybors puter dat DO NOW WANT 2 print an keaps loosing teh internets conekshen. Mah dais has been bettur (lolz).
Teh serch continuues …. slowlie. Juss knot mutch tyme 2 play wiff lolfrens.
BlueMax getz teh carbord roles out of da trash & waks them aroun till they fal down the stayrs. Then he gitz bord an leevs them, so Im alwaies findin em in teh livin rume. Tu embarusing.
I’z soooo tyred! I’z maykin catfetti fur party on Caturday!!!
I’m shreddin da paypers to maek snow 4 da snowglowbs. I krafty. I can has giftkard 2 Mykals now?
She’z craftee – she gitz arownd, she’s craftee – man, she’z three rolls down!
k, cuddn’t resizt.
thxbai
Ticker Tape Parade: Ur doin it wrong!
I no can haz squarez to spare.
Okay…..kittehs wurk here is dun
NAP TIME
I lurves dese Bounty mega rolls…lotz mor paypurr to distroy…plus dey’s so soft on ma clawz.
Wut u meen u rly has go bafroom nao?
Oh awryt, grab some dis. I fixd it betr foar u.
Oh, hai! Ummm…dis? Oh, umm…dere wuz dis…um…mowsie–yeah! Dis big mowsie and he ran into teh TP roll and wuz liek “neener neener” so I attackz him, but he jumps into the other roll of teh TP, and wuz all “neener neener” again and stikkin’ his mowzie tung owt at me, so I attackz dat roll, den he jumps into teh next wun…
Whut, I keepin teh house safe from teh mowzies…srsly!
i has squeezd me some charmin
I telled yu befoar: yu chanjez kittehlittur mor offen or I maeks mah own.
U sed “too much bad news in pepper”
Well, i fixes that. Now ther no news in pepper.
mabey i can burn the rest, huh
I have been lurking this site forever. I don’t usually comment, but I just HAD to on this one. My kittens did this exact same trip in my apartment in SF, grabbing the end of the tp and running down the hall, one running, the other pursuing the flying end of the strip. Shredding, tearing, rolling around — my oh my did they ever have a great time. It was too funny for me to be mad at them. AFter that, I kept the toilet paper in a less accessible place.
Mah ornj kitteh Jessie noes al teh wayz to waek me up so I givez her teh breakfast. Wun uv her moest annoying (and successfl) methds iz to pull a peece uv kleenex owt uv teh box and then shredd it all ovr teh flor. She getz breckfst in a hurree but then I iz nawt so happee wit Jessie!
I love this site, it is my favorite.