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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
« Previous OH HAI I BUFFED UR FLOOR | three rolls down Next »
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
Sumtymes wen mai husban be nattering on, dis how i feel … he goin “blahblahblah” an insyd mai hed i goin “SHADDUP!”
Gratz on the cap.
lookit u all gotz 2 count’em 2 lolpics. I has teh jeloos!
yepp…she beez famus naow….wunder if she will still be like us or gitz all uppity and hi-falutin!!??? (LOL) Congrats, Meno!
Congrats!
Yes, she will be liek all “Plz 2 refer 2 me as Lady Miss Queen Menopaws, Ruler uv teh LOLpics, Defender uv teh Stend, and Protektor uv teh Bukkits!” an we will be all liek “Yes ur royal loliness!”
u meenz u guise dusnint alreddy?
“ur royal loliness?” hmmmm… mai title, i lykes it …. hehehehe
Alrighty then…yu got it girl!!! Yur LOLiness it iz! Luz ya!
heh heh, url 4 short.
I know I do ;o)
OK: so here’s the deal. here in real life, the p0rnstar (we’ll call him p0rnstar #1) just called me back to say why YES the p0rnstar (#2) we met on the dancefloor last week (who he did a movie with tho they weren’t on the set at the same time) and you ARE right about on par (even tho #2 has a combover now, and there must’ve been some prety d4mn good lighting in that movie) and I want you to just stop whining and go for it, you’re not getting any younger or cuter (I know, right? it’s not enough that these guys make us feel insufficient in the onscreen, now they’re calling me personally to tell me how old and tired I am), and between that and the whole troll incident, well I’m thinking of just changing my name to trollahisimo – because frankly, I’m NOT getting any younger or cuter (who is?) and moreover this is an identity I could really run with. I just spent an hour at the grocery store, mumbling to myself as I walked up and down the aisles thus frightening small childern and old ladies (try it sometime), and there are some very attractive bridges to live under around here – should I just go for it and embrace my inner trolliness? because it just might be easier all around ;o)
I don no, Stend. U iz purty damn kyoot da wai u iz. Wile bein a troll MITE be funnee fer awhile, it iz bownd to kind uv ware on u after awile. And wat if u can’t channel Stand type commintz if u iz a troll?
Haz u evah thot of THAT, huh?
And livin undah a bridge is nawt that grate, akshually. It can get kinda damp sumtimez, u noes. And den der is all dat traffik. N u wuldn’t get no kind of gud sleeps, cuz u keep hazin to get up and ask Who beez goin der? and sh&t lyke dat. And tryin to skare peeps culd be major fun for awhile, but keep hazin to lern new triks, (u fink u iz up for DAT?) or dah peeps dey gets on to u, den u can’ts skeer dem ennymoar.
So, fink hard bowt dis, ok?
I iz just sayin….
stendhalismo, trollhisimo, pr0nisihimo, macaroni n cheezihimo….
I like callin you stend for short, not troll.
ogrehisimo?
♥♥♥ ;p
I dunno – the trolly thing is RIFE with possibilities – plus, I really enjoyed idly scaring people at the store. you should try it sometime – do your grocery shopping while talking to yourself in an undertone – usually, people would just drift away from you but in a supermarket aisle it’s pretty obvious when they turn and run away or speed up – I found this out by accident one day while I was mentally going back over an argument I had had and wasn’t aware I was speaking, but now… ;o)
Stend…it don’t matter WHAT teh callz yu, itz what yu answer tu dat kountz!! We all luz yu jus teh wai u ar!!!
Stend, just be trLOL on the weekends or occasional vacation time. It works out and you can get a time share on a bridge!
ZOMG, i was coupla days behind on teh postings an didnt underSTEND wot teh ruckus wuz about … HOLY GUACAMOLE!…wuz lyk Jerry Springr meetz WWF by way of CSI! Tawk about needin a gud SHADDUP! … wowzer.
Anyhowz, Sten, i thinx u shud call urself Fabulismo.
As fur teh troll? Fluck ‘em, an teh whores he/she road in on.
I dunno – it’s still kinda appealing, so much lower maintence for one. I’m gonna go ask p0rnstar #3, star of my running call in show “ask a retired p0rnstar” (he was big in the 80’s) whut I should do – BB will know
and just in case, I’m taking my fake troll teeth and glue on mole with me ;o)
… and I’m texting p0rnstar #4 even tho he’s in miami now, just for the full opinion
it’s a survey !!!
ROFL, dat sownds liek a pervy verzhun uv “Fambly Fyood”: “pr0n star SAYS…”
Stend – keep ur name – jus git urself a troll icon to identify urself. I gibs u a link. http://www.badfads.com/pages/collectibles/trolls.html
sten, srsly, u can trais, but da troll b nawt in ur nachur. u kin keep tryin 4 troll, but ebrywun noes u u is STEN Da Funnee full uv much awsum n win. i meen rly, has u nawt notissed u iz da moast winninest of lolfrenz? tawk abowt ur loliness. sheesh.
purrhapz u is havin da mael pms… happinz 2 da best uv men. u can has chocolate? will halp, i promuz!
OK: I found a troll pic I like, with BIG PINK HAIR !!! how do I build a profile and add it in ???
… and by the way, not to drive this into the ground but has anyone else noticed how psycho only shows up to stir things up, then disappears – repeatedly?
Stend,
When my kids were small and I didn’t get out very much except to go to the groccry store, I one day found myself going down the aisles singing along – with gusto! – to “Kroger Radio”.
I went home and told my husband that we were going to go out to dinner.
Stend, iffn u desaids to bekom a trollz, u shud b oen uv dose trollz dat gards teh bridgs and maeks ppl ansur 3 kwestions to kross. And iffn dey dont, u gets to eated dem.
Or taek awl dere monies.
Or sumfink liek dat.
ur royal loliness!!!!!!! genius!!! omg, i wuz ROFLMFAO……
O grate Menopaws… most floofy loliness… *deep bow* I can has ur ottergraf?
I cans relayte… lurvs himz etirnalee fur troo, but sumtiemz… OMG SHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! We cans has NO TALKIEZ!!!
unz wen myn was tak-tak-tak..Ai poynt remote at himz..muyt not werk
lol! I tink mai favorit pawt of dis pik iz da look on da dawgeez face…hez goin, “wut i say???”
he always wondering “wut i say?”
Awww…poor widdle dawgee — him so kewt on his little red blankie. I wants to kiss him and hug him and squeeze him…
Watch out….mai dotter has a Boston Terrorist….and dat fella kan’t hold his likker!!
HAHAHAHA! TRU- i has 5- donut ask (sometimes do not want!). one can’t keep likker in, always lik, lik, lik.
Boston Terrierz BAAHHK BAAHHK BAAHHK mohning, aftahnoon, even in the pahk.
They ah lucky they ah so so dahn kyoot.
Invisible ball-gag.
dat b sic, an rong.
an reeely phuny.
I shud not hav red dis at werk. I be feelins dis way sumtymes when dey all be askin teh stoopy qwestions lik “cud I ask u a qwestion?”
LOL, just anser dat wun: “No.”
Same kinda ansers here:
Have yu got a minit??? NO
Are yu bizzee? YES
Kan yu help me out??? I doan no..which way yu come in??
Ma favrit wuz Phoebe on Frenz: “Oh, i rilly wish i cud, but….i doan want to.”
I werked at refrunze desk at public libairy. I had on a nametag that identified me by my name and as a staff purrson. I sat under a sign dat sed Get help Heer. Dah peeps wuld walk up to desk, luk all rownd, and sai
Do u werk Heer?
I alwais wanted to say
No, I camed in erly to get deh gud seet.
Stoopies.
Heeeeerz ur sign!
Stoopies.
Scarlet.. yu are TEH BEST!!!!
Why, fank yoo evah so very much!
I doez bettah wif dah troo storees, I fink. I have many. I iz popular at partees!
Yes! As a “reformed librarian” I can rly re-late to dat!
When I werked in teh office of all teh management types, teh lowly werkers would come in looking for teh HR manager lady:
“Is she in?”
“No.”
“She’s not?”
Srsly. Although I don’t speak any of them, I do understand the word “no” in about 9 languages. WTF part of “no” is difficult for you to get, Stoopy?
Mai favorites were the ones that came in “is she in?”
“no.”
“She’s not?”
“No, she’s gone for the day.”
THEN, because I am clearly an obvious liar and trying to make them look foolish, they would turn around, look at her office door that was wide open to clearly show the fact that there WERE NO LIGHTS ON IN HER OFFICE, they would stick their heads in and check her desk.
DANG, Ya got me, Sparky! See, out of the 300+ people working here right now, we knew that YOU were going to come in and see her, so we cooked up this whole thing where I would say that she was not in, and she would sit in her office IN THE DARK and pretend not to be here, and then when you left we would laugh and laugh…just to make you look stoopid.
People suck.
As my friends bumper sticker says: “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog”
LOL, mebbe they thot she was hiding under her desk… I know I wud if I cud…
Yeeks! I kin relayt. Wun dai, I go to Tarzhay wif fren. She wearin red shirt, oops. We in der shoppin shoppin, a ladee comz up an starts askin mai fren kweschuns IN SPANISH!!! Tankfullee, mai fren is polyt AND a lingwistix person. She jus help da ladee fin good produck, den we laff an get coffeez.
Happins alla tiem, me an frenz inna store, peeps alwaeez askin us fer halp, eben when we in middle of big conbersashun or crackin jokeses. An we nice peeps, we try, den walk on…. Angels unaware? Mebbe…
Thees b my spot on da kowch.
Jus tri tew mooov meh.
No – moar – shaggee – dog – storeees!!!! Auuggh!!!
Unst uponz a tyme, dere wuz dez immortal porpuses. And dey lived in a cayve way on top of a mowntin. And der wuz dese munks whose onlee jawb wuz to feed deh immortal porpuses. Dey onlee at seagullz frum a speshul pond at deh foot of deh mowntin. (I nawt noes wy deh stoopy porpuses had to eat if dey wuz immortal, but iz part of storee so SHADDUP!)
And one day, wen deh monks went up de mowntin to feed deh porpuses, dey finds dat de cayve is garded by 2 lyons, one on eech syde of deh entranse, lyke libairy lyons, onlee alyve, and MEEN. Deh monks not no wat to do until finally wun day wen at wit’s end dey find deh lyons asleep.
JUST as dey steps qwietly ovah dah lyons, dey is arrested.
Wat is dey arrested for?
ennywun? ennywun?
???
k, can’t sez it in lolspeak, but –
transporting gulls over sedated lions for immortal porpoises
ow – that one actually hurt ;o)
Woohoo!, Stend…yu gotz it frst!!! I berry proud of yu!
An darlin Scarlet…you totally rock!!!!!
U iz too kind.
I useded to kind uv kollekt deh shaggee dawg storees.
At dat time I wuz NOT so popular at partees!
Um… I tauts I gotz it frst. Wus so prowed of self…
it was u, snorgler, be prowd. COL jes got marrieded an still has teh starses in teh eyes
sorry, snorgler…..yeah….I wuzzint wearin mai glassez…..I made a boo-boo!
CONGRATS to COL! Hope you has happitail fur eber.
Tank yu berry mush….(also, I lernd mai lessun bout puttin on mai eyez be4 tryin tu post)
All togebber now “GROANNNNNZZZZ”
berry punny tho.
U winz! ding ding ding ding.
Iz very close
Iz akshooly
transporting gulls over stately lions for immortal porpoises!
I beez feelin bery Dupit rite now,,,, Kno I hab herd dis b4…leest I tink I hab… mehbe mah old kruztee brain is makin foolish on mah???? Cud bee…. I kno wil bee Smakin hed wit fist when I findz out the ansr…..
teh doggie iz tryin hiz lazur ais. iz not werkin.
Invisibul hairball!
onlee temporarily invisibul!
sothismorninmamagavemetreetdidugitatreetigottatreetandthenIwentoutsideandbarkedatabugonnagroundandIranaroundanrounduntillIfelldownonnagroundandthenItookanapforlilbitandchewdonmyassforlilbit..
OMG WUD U SHADDUP!
sheesh! U givin me hedache.
D:butiwuntdoinnuthinIwuzjustellinyuwutididtodaywheniwentoutsideyudidntgooutsideandtherewuzastrangerdoganibarkedatthimanthentheposmancamegrrbadposmananirillybarkdathiman–*WHAP* *yipe!*
C: I SED SHADDUP!!!!!
D: …Wull, jeez.
FTW!!!!!!
zOMYGz,,, !!! bery hapy dat mah Po no beingz a dawg,,, all dat twakin wud makes mah totly Boinkers!!! 2 da Max!!!
Heh Boston Terrors has flat-like nowses and dey snoreses. Kitteh not want lissen to snores
den kitteh can go to bedroom
Other dan a poodle I had as a lil gurl, I was raysed wif Bostonz, and dey poot an snore, and r compleetlee adorabul! Steenkee, loud, an adorabul.
Just like boyses…
we had da Boston goggie when i wuz a kid. he namez wuz Butch. very tyme he pooted he alwayz rollded himz eyes up as if to sez “dat wuzn’t me”. he wuz da bestest goggie evar n i still missez himz!
The Bickersons:
Kitteh: You sleepin on couch tonight, you sonny vabitch
Doggy: Den you hafta get offa da couch.
Kitteh: I get offa da couch wen I good and reddy.
Doggy: OK whatever you say. You stay on couch as long as you want. I just go ober here and cower, K? (whimper whimper) I’s sorry.
Kitteh: Shaddap, I’m watchin Teevee. My shos on: “Law & Order: Animal Control Division”
that remindz me of mah passed aways kitteh Mike…
and he liked to tell the dawgies to shaddup. Uzually wif his clawz.
Lady I..I so sorrie for yur loss…trulee.
aw, it’s ok. He got sick and just up and croaked on us. He wasn’t feeling well on a Thursday, so I gave him a day or two, to see if he started to feel better. He died on Sat night/Sunday morning…I still have plenty of kittehs left! LOL In fact, bebeh kitteh we kept from litter makes number five…again!
The Bickersons:
KITTEH: Dat’s it, you sleepin on da couch.
DOG: You have to git offa it first.
KITTEH: I git offa it wen Is good and reddy.
DOG: OK, sorry. I jus go ober here on my side, K? I won’t bodder you, K?
(whimper, whimper) I’s sorry.
KITTEH: Shaddap! I’s trying to watch my sho: Law & Order Animal Control Division.
Kitteh awl kumfee
Duz nawt want shayr Beeg Lawng Chayr
wiff liddle Puppeh
Beeg Lawng Chayr 2 gud
4 noyzee, flat fayce puppeh
Kitteh much upsetz
Puppeh allwayz chayse
t3h bawl. Kitteh smrt. Haz bawl
delibburred to herz
Jack.
mmm, catloaf
i’m not speaking to you until you apologize.
*yawn* like i care.
…and sadly, *this* reply is the one I keep coming back to…
Sigh…I still has raw nurve or too…
@#%&*@#$%*@&#*!
Shaddup over dere, I’m wotchin mai programz! OMG, I can’t BLEEV dat gai sez he nawt dat baby-daddy… hit him wid a chare, yoo stoopy lil ho!
We fine out da rezults uf da paternatee tests rite after dis braek….
Okay, so if U is teh guy dat some ho says iz her baby-daddy, and u find out dat she is on teh show for liek teh 6th time, and u is liek teh 17th guy dey has tested,
Why TF would you go on national TV and admit something like that?
I would be “I’m number WHAT? WTF? Damn, Ho, you is more crowded than teh Lincoln Tunnel, and about as wide, too, apparently. Screw teh TV show, I have to go to the doc and get a bunch of shots, then I really need to soak my wang in bleach for a few days.”
I alwayz wunner if any dem tests mite be wrong sumtiemz…. Lab mek miskake or persun haz dat weerd kinda DNA liek dat wun ladeee…..
Yeah, like dat chimera person ladee. had 2 kindses of dah DNAs. too weerd. but in the immortal werds of Judy Tenuta
“It culd happan!”
I iz playin my cordion heer.
… or in the immortal words of stewie from family guy
“is there any tread left down there, or is it like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?”
Dis maed me giggles much. Gud fing I’s teh onli oen hear at wurk. Mai bosses mite tink I’s crazii.
<..>
>.<
Cat: MOM!!! Hez on mai blankie!
Dog: Oh sh**. I’z in trubble now!
Puppeh: I maded u a…
Kitteh: MATLOCK!!!
DAMMITT! u allus got be blahblahblahing whem mah favorit program on!
Ohy, Lissa, yu iz SO rite! But we luz teym, so itz ok!
ZOMG Flartus, you just maed me trooly, reely, 4 reelz LOL. Fanks!
Publik Servis Nounsment: due to natcheral antyputhy eggzisting bahtween teh kittehs an teh dawgs, xtream cawshun bes reckamended in atempting to purrswade dem to share akomadayshunz.
OK, ktisitr, I m now yur #1 fan!
*blushes* Noes, noes! Ur 2 kind.
C: HALP! Teh cowch has grabd mah laigs! I’m sinkin!!
D: …Whut?
I WULL EET DOWGIE!!! GRRRR!!!!
I take it dis not a ironic sofa?
I lurves teh leather furnitur, but mah doggeh wd eat it.
i thought i told you to say off the couch!
MOMMMEEEEE!!!!! ur stuuuupid nuu doggee iz in mah blankeee agan!!!! WTF!
Ur bref iz stinkee. Pleeze 2 close mouf.
Skreemin’ heavy metal kitteh saiz
“JUDAS PWEEEEST! Mai favrit! C’monz, sing alongz!”
Pouty Pearl Jam pug sez “no”
Okay, so wun day at werk I has teh “Breakin teh Law” stuck in mai hed, so I’m walking around all ‘breakin teh law, breakin teh law…”
at the copier ‘breakin teh law, breakin teh law’…
in line at the cafeteria ‘breakin teh law, breakin teh law’
then I looks at teh person in line next to me, and wonders why dey has a gun. And a badge. And a spiffy hat dat says “police” on it…
LOL!!!!
I started a filk ov dat song:
“Wearin a bra, wearin a bra… You don know how it feeeeelz!!!!”
And so brad was like, no it’s obama. And jolie was like, nuh huh, it’s edwards. And then brad was like you’re a just a puss. And then jolie hocked a hairball up in his face.
Get rid of that cat. It’s terrifying.
is jes yawning, rly. mebbe u shd chill out
Dog: Oki, oki, me juz sayin u noe…
wow i luvedis lulcats! lmrofl
I is not shur who are tellink to to shudub. Could be eether-aither.
Many funny eether-aither way.
Okay, I have 3 others, and since my pooter is acting up again, I’ll put them all in one post. Feel free to discuss amongst yourselves:
1) Cat: Teh floor is lavaaaa!!
Dog: Srsly, we are not playin’ dat again. Ur legs are longer den mine.
2) Cat: Jesus Christ, Corwin–It’s a lion! Get in the car!
Dog: Car? Whut? We goin’ for a ride?
3) Cat: This is not ironic, This is a SOFAAAAAAAAA!!
Dog: Enuf with teh “300″ jokes alreddy…
“U lost teh wah…basta!”
Hitlerdog iz batteld by blagblogcat.
Dis iz Spartaaaaaaa!
TMJ kitteh sez “Halk!! ai yaw ish skuuck!”
—-
Essept fur skinnee fayce, looks liek my big ‘fat’ RC! Saem shape an collur! But no peenk colar wif bell, and I know she gone ober Rainbow Bridge, I seen her der, lyin all kitteh loaf inna sunbeem….
Dog: I iz bored. We can has burpin contest.
Cat: I goes furst. BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!
Dog: U winz.
i’ve been watching too many Seinfeld reruns because these two made me think of George Costanza’s parents…..
Optimist– owner of balck cat ,balck bostie and one white sofa!
The dog “do you want to dig a hole with me and eat maggots?”
The cat “*yawn*”
I have a boston terrier. He would have taken a bite out of that cat.
Teh kitteh loox prakticall fur beeing a bottl-opener!
dont wanna heer whoo diez in Daethly Hallowz!!!
da kitteh luks soft.
lulz
lolz i luvz ur harestylz tadayz….can meh have a tazte?
[...] complain, complain, complains, meh. picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: Omar’sMom Incorrect credit or offensive? [...]
LAWLZ TA DAWGZ JUZT LIKEZ “WTF”
i likes how teh dawg is lookin at hims like you shaddup
another one of my favz
“MOM!!! Teh goggie’s on teh couch again!!!”
as iphone comershal plaiz , goggie sez “dats kewl.” kitteh sez “DO NOT WANT!!!”