NOT WANT DECAF!
this is how i feel todays and most days. 
capped and submitted by: Luke
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FIRST!!!!
ass pie.
teho is having a BAD DAY – here baby, have a cookie ;o)
i lykes teho’s comment. i vote yes to ass pie. mmm…asspie…
harbl-pie?
hmmm
Hair pie? Thank you very much!
mmmmmmmm asspie DO. NOT. WANT!
U is 1 WEEERD mamma-jamma, Q!
asspie akshulle wurkz hilareeus az snappee teho-izm oar az beezar kapshun. lyke kitteh iz beggin foar asspie. . .LOLcat iz LOLpurrvurt ‘i can haz asspie?’ . . . ‘nawt if ennybawdee’s wotching’. . .
dammit teho – juss red uthr thred. awl ah needed to sez iz
::: POIT :::
i can has anser fr everting?
:::
!!!
And a cookie!
an a donut
an a bearclaw
an a organic tofu melon wrap wif NO MAYO!!!!
oh, an no melon… an cn u hold da tofu? i just wants da spinnich parmeeshun torteeya. toasted, plz. kthxbai
an a MOAR COFEE!
Bagel.Tosted. Wif creem cheez.
Dammit now im hungree.
Tee. Erl Gray. Hawt.
bweereereeszzjoop!
wiff mulk!
RAWR! don’t bother me until after i’ve had my coffeeee!!!!!
that’s so me – I’m up to four cups a day, plus two energy drinks on bad days
was just chatting w/ ‘b1tchy barrista’ at st4rbucks – he was telling me when people are bad, he slips them decaf – I was like “OK but you know that might lead me to k1ll, right?” and he was like “oh yeah” ;o)
I haz my hawt coffee ferst ting in dah mornin, and reeds dah paper wif it. Can’t tayke dah newz widowt dah kafeen, u sees. Den layter I haz iced coffee, wif milk an flavered syrup in it. I maykes myself. I’ll be dubbled dipt if I will pay for dah st4rbuks if not haz to. I won’tz eeven pay fer deh McDickwad’s if I duzn’t has to.
Hmmmm,
I wunder if McDickwad’s will mayke it past deh censors? Wun wai to find owt
Heer goes
Im wif u SK I has a Sbuck’s in teh Target an I doant go dere. I likes teh Iced cawfee tho..but jus one. Cawfee gimme teh jidderz. But teh poor souls standin in line at teh SBucks dey shakin cua dey can has teh cawfee jonses. Dey standin dere all shaky..qqquuadd sshott c c c caramel m m m ma acchiato pu pu pu plz…
U so funne, Melissa!! (Dat’s my name, too, btw!) Iz one of teh jittery ppl needin cawfee all day. Is addixkshun, i fink. i don liek teh sbuck’s tho. Liek the homebrew cawfee wif milk!
dis cat can b garfld wen hes kitteh? is jinjer and lykz cawfee!
Mayk mine wif eckstra miwlk plz.
Cute cute cute.
OK. So, ahm lookin at diz pikchur an imaginin ah ken heer dis bebbe tawk. Yoo’d fink himz liddle voyse wuld come owt himz mouf like, “meeeew.” But dis bebbe-kitteh problee haz a bit uv teh mischeeveeus in himz. He problee sounz like, “RRRRRRRAAAWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRR” an’ yer hare blowz bak an’ yer eerz be ringin’ fur dayz.
Decaffeinated coffee
It’s pointless, brown hot water
Decaffeinated coffee
Say goodbye to your will to live
Decaffeinated coffee
Oh, boy!
It sucks!
oh hai, sum uv us iz sooper caffeen senzitiv, an cannot tolrate eben de tinist bit of reel coffay! sad but troo!
I’m similar… coffeeeee meks me sweeeeppeeee not jumpy jittery wakie wakie….
Cawfee onlee a carrier systum fur creem an shoogar NEwayz!
Ai cn reelait to dat . Dats de onli reeson to dink
de arful stuf .
Sorree, ai shuld spesifi… dis be frum Dayvid Letturmin, when he had teh hart surjery. Evvyday, new decaf coffee = evul song.
iz tru. i iz in saem boat az letterman, sorta. i can haz pacemaker cuz of fibri… firbi…flibrl…. jumpin beanz in mai hart. da caffeenz maykz dem beanz jump way too mush n da pacemaker beez werkin obertyme! eben jus a smakeral ub da stuf. but i missiz it all da saym.
Caffeinated Cat
criez owt for anuther ficks,
twitchin constuntly.
Tiny tiger asks
Why do you give me decaf?
Define “redundant”.
“‘Helth consurnz’? Puh-leeze.
I’ll giv u sum ‘helth consurnz’
if u keep dis up.”
Kannot pour frum pot.
Whinez abowt da lak of hand
flexubilitee.
wif wun bref, wun flo
cofee cup kitn wil no
sinkronisatee
WIN!!
TOTL WIN!!
COMPLEET N TOTAL WIN!!1!
wuz moastly Stingk. but thx.
curse mah lack uv
caffinated coffee.
espresso shawt plz!
OH NOES!!! TORCHURD BEENZ!!!!!
WOT POYNT IN DISHWORTER PLEH???
THINK OV TH LOLfeinez!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lolcats R rel cut
Iz bein want to squish dem
Butwen mah butchekz
Want chezburgur latte wif lotsa whicreeme, plz.
I sed LATTE!!!!!
U TELS EM, TIGR BEBEH!
Kitteh iz hazardus to yur health befor he haz furst cup of cawfee in da mornin.
Jus ‘member: teh orinj ones ar poysin.
moor laik ‘blond’…
Paris Hilton kitteh in limo on her way back to jail:
“Itz not fayr!!!! I want mai momeee!! waaa! waaa! waaa…!
I can so relate, kitteh.
Wherez mah double-tall mocha latte? Or mah double tall non-fat extra-dry cappuccino?
Wif extra phoam, an exatkly 110 degreez and a duzen moar randum kaffe-related instruktins. I h8 wen deez ppl are infront of me at teh Starbux
Somebody should wash that filthy mug.
NOOOOO!!
is seezoning!
Yes is teh flavur!!
Prolly haz sentamentl valyoo. Luks liek sumzthing i made in Gurrl Scowts.
non-gratuitous use of ironic coffee mug!
u peeps iz weerd
(yeh yeh luk hooz tockin)
LOL, I’m in ur reply, statin teh obveeyus.
Yesh! I saw dis n thot, “I can has A FRIGGIN DISHWASHER?!?”
Touch the coffee and you die!!
Starbuck want HOW mch for coffee??
Cappucino, frappucino..AL PACINO!
JUST GIMME A CUP OF FRIGGIN COFFEE!
plz?
mmmmm al pacino. yum
Iz that a mug or a baftub wiz a handul??? Dis bebe eensie enuf to fit!
SERVICE! Hello? Where’s my REFILL?!?
An nex tyme, FILL TEH KUP! U gotz shortig a koffee hear or wha????
Is ok, bebbeh kitteh. I gives u warm milk an a binkie. I tinks u jus overtire.
Caffeinated kitteh iz pazt bedtiem.
having had his coffee fix, espresso kitteh says “VROOM!” while moving back and forth at sufficient speeds to disrupt spacetime and its various flavrs
HAY WAITRON!!! I sed KAMMOMEEL TEE, nawt LEMIN ZINGER, ai need teh KAMMOMEEL TEE RITE NAOW cos it’s GUD 4 MAI NERVZ, DAMMITT!!!!!!!!!!!!
waitron ftw!
oh noes, keeteh…caffeen will stuntz yer growthes!
DeeKaff Kawffee…. Pleh!
No wantz nasstee kemmikulz
Wantz hawwtt, blawwnd an sweet!
My Prittee Wun maykz
it juss ryte. Letz meez haz sum
affur it koolz awff
Kawffee an Breffust
arz t3h bess smellz a Kitteh
ebber waykz up 2
Jack.
kitteh needz caffeen to make it to caturday! i’m right there wif u on that 1 -_-;
GIMME A REFILL!!!NOW!!!
Teh decaf…it duz nothing!
dat’z teh point.
Man, is dis wun kemikally alturd jenerashun or whut?
Is ennybudy here a decaftan?
(Not me, fur shur.)
I can has likwid krak?
Anybuddy remembir teh Coffee Achiever ads frum bak n teh dai?
“Coffee calms you down … and picks you up!” Unh huh, it shur dus!!
I can’t stand koffee. Even lived 2 yrs in Paris, still don’t smokes or drinks teh café. Mah parents still skritchin dere heds ober dat.
On teh udder hand, jest TRY to keep me away from a ice col’ coc’cola an a bag of keddel cheeps! nom, nom, plz not to tell my Dr.
HAHAHA! Mee too! I dont drink coffee but I like teh taste. One cup and I’m shakin!!!But gimme a gingery ale and Archer Farms(Target brand) Wasabi Mustard kettle chips….(eyes rollin back droolin) OOOhhhhhhhh……
iz oddish sort uv crayving.
sowns kinda gud tho.
I amz teh opizit. I doan’t rill lyk teh tayst ov coffy, but I drynkz it ennywayz. Iz gud tu kepe me awayk at teh clyints offiss when I haznt sleeped enuf teh nite befoar.
Sum coffy iz gud, but moasly iz bitr an teh acsid gibs me a tummi ake.
i lurves teh chips! Teh candy store neer mah hous sells dem chawklat kovvered, too. EZ fur me to avoyd teh candys or sodas, but need teh chips. ‘Specially the kettle chipz. Soso crunchy… Non nom nom. Teh plain ones are gud wif hot sauce on dem!
Ai doan’t drink no kaffeens, no how. It gibs me migrayns. Ai can’t has kawfee, or kaffinated tee, or colas… OR EBIN CHOKLIT. I hasn’t has’d enny uv dem tings in 22 yeers. (Dat’s wen I finally figgerd owt wut wuz gibbin me awl dem migrayns.) Ai envy ennywun (liek mai husbin) wut kin drink cawfee or eets choklits. O well… itz better to NOT has migrayns, 4 sher!
Wut wakes me up in teh morning? Um… nuttin! Ai awayz sleepee!
OMG! dat is TEWWIBAL. Kaffeen is ushuly gud fix fer deh migraynes. Iz not fair to haz deh payne and NOT deh kafeen.
Iz gud us doasn’t has da migrains but hoaw horble cnat have CHOCLUTS!
serios NOM NOM NOM!!
i wunners if u can decafs choklit?
O, waow. I iz feelin bettur bowt mah bad dai now. *Goes to nom nom comforting chocolate* I iz so sry, BG…
Cours, I’z alerjik 2 cheez (k, dont nobudee haev a hart atack, cn stil dig da chz humur) wich iz awlmoast az prevullent az choklit. So I cn empathyz.
No…CHAWKLAT? O U poor ting. I’ll have ur’s for u, tho.
Sersly, tho, teh migrainz SUK. Gud fur u to no what caused dem and avoid it! I can has willpower liek dat?
BEAN ME!!!!!!!!1111111!!!!!!!
ROFL, WIN!!!
awwww!! kitteh no has toofs!!
Dat y kitteh drink teh coffee, rite?
dis bebeh has teh cyoot strawberrie mouf, teh flamin oranj furs, teh big bobbel head. i so. do. want.
Yes. Luvz teh littel triangly shapez–teh earz, teh mouf. So doribl and kyoot. He luks pritty pisst tho, mebbe shudnt laff at himz.
Wat joo meen Starbuks 9 cent moar??!!
Kitteh, u has problim.
Tym for de froot joos.
Wevver u lyk et or nat.
But da coffee been iz a vejjie, rite? So coffee iz vejjie juis. Vejjie juis iz helthee.
Ooh… dat meens tekeela is a vejjie 2, becuz is maed frum cactus juis. U put lime in, an wallah! Iz liek helf fud.
U a jeenyus, KickahaOta!
u puts teh liem in teh kokonot
an drinkem bof togevyr…
(eerwurm wurs den takeela wurm)
Teho, u gibs me ur earworm, i gibs u myne. “Oh, you can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd…”
Dere. Nao i feelz bettr. k thx bai.
i tak ur deecaff kitteh. u kin hab my caffeen. no worriz!
ps i laffed out loud at dis 1 omg teh faec…
Unsupervised kittens will be given a shot of double espresso and a free puppy.
u r so random…an i likes it!
hehhehheh – mai cowurkur haz dat syn awn hur door but sez childrun nawt kittehs. iz evun bettur mentul imaj wif da kittehs!
*zoom! crash!*
arf! arf!
MEOW! *hiss n swat*
oh man, that is exactly my last two days at work. but now i am on vacation, so all is right with the world
ANUDDER COFFEE, BIOTCH!
“OMFGahcantwaytfoarcawfeefiksennylawngrgiffmebeenzaishelfthemneedzbuzznaow. . . aaaaaaaaah. . . . laytr ai maykz asspie wiv da flayver. . . . . kitteinated crachiatto. . . . . WAWT?”
steps away frm teh mug, typin snot! yooz had enuf!
ps — “crachiatto”
F.
T.
W.
Ware mah cheezburger?!? Wen I sed I wanted it rare, dey musta thot I ment almos extinkt.
That’s a cute picture, but dude, that’s one dirty cup!