what i do now?
photo: ICHCF
capped and submitted by: InfamousQBert
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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run, mamah! RUN LIEK HELL!!!!!11!!!
My first thot too .. RUN AWAYZ NOW!!!!!
Next theys be bringin der laundries home an bummin monies…
“Rentz home eez lyke vacaschun hauz, kno?” – I can has new doar loks?
In Soviet Russia, bebehs has joo!
akshully, i tink dey has u no matter ware u ares…deyz jest like dat, sumhao.
No, i swares dey’re not mine. i’z just watchin dem fur a frend!
Yeah, I much prefer the newer one in the factory about DNA
well as nice as dat vinegar box iz u mite consider gettin a better haus
speshullee since it r in a showah!
wurd to teh wyse – nebber be puttin litterbochs in teh shower stall. Awl teh chrome will com off ov teh fixturs nd u will neber get all teh clay out ob teh drayne witout calling teh plumber guise. Nd paying dem lotz ov ur monies.
Wait – I can has anonymities?
too late!
panik!
den feed dem cheezburgers
dey tasty and nootrishus
Den burp teh littel darleengs
An den feed moar cheezburgers.
hang in dere, bebbeh! kitisitr on da way to halp.
Go on dah Moory Povish show and gets them baby daddies DNA test’d soes dey takes takes care of dem babies!!!!
Moory sayz: “Tom Kat, yew IZ dis babies daddy!”
Hahaha. Yeah after 17 pwevius tests. U HUZZY!
“f%&k you Maury Po-bitch, ah do wot ah wawnt!”
Tramp kitteh sez, “Hao dis happen???”
ah-oh… nows when you git in zeh lil box an’ go to the vet an’ be fixed… na sure why. Bebeh kittehs dun seem like the kinda stuff that breaks thin’s
Funny how yu goes to teh vet to get fixed aftur yu pruve that parts of you AINT broked.
an dis baybee, an dis baybee, and dis baybee, an…..
“Himz da lurve of mah lief, so I slep wif sum uvver guyz…”
Gag.
sumone pooped a kitty in meh bed O_O
I HAS NO CONDOM.
DID WANT!
no but srsly, dat one sooooooooo grate! lol 2 da powr uv 10!!
Dayvid Blayne kitteh sez, “watsch kayrfoolee an teh kittiehs will levuhtayte”
omg my kitteh’s twin motha from anotha she even has little yellow baybee
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1420/900731242_81ed58f1f2.jpg
omg agin! i tink it mus be saym kitteh. eben haz sayme chin spot en buggee owt aiballz!
wha???? wazzat comin in frum anoder dymenshun?!?!??
AAAWWWHHHH, MOMMA NO NO WHAD TO DOOMS??
halp plz, kthx..
givie to me! i’z has a good home for da baybees!
Custodial kitteh retinks divors settelment
Daddeh kitteh thot he’d avoid kitten support by raizin dem hisself. Den he realizes, “I got no teats!!”
much LOLs nd cheezburgers fur dat wun!
Papa don preech
Imin trubble deep
LOLZ
Makitteh 4 da WIN!!!!
In sum kitteh cultuahs deh eat deh yung uns
DAMN STORK!!!!
Snorgle!!! Datz waht u musst do, kitteh-mom! Snorgle!!!
(extended “aww”ing moment interspersed with “deh bebe”s)
Wow, I can tell you that I have seen a lot of good pictures and captions here on ICHC but to tell you the truth – this one I do not get no care for.
NEENER NEENER NEENER, young mama calico! (yeppers, you a pastel calico, so you offishully one ob us.)
well, mostly, just luff dem. den luff dem some more, and feedz dem a liddle longer, and teech dem how to catch dere own tayells, and how to pounce, and tell dem all about how to be so cyoot dat dere foreber hoomins will taek da bestest care ob dem pawsible. oh, and luff dem.
den go to http://www.neuterspay.org, and find yurownself a low-cost spay/neuter purrogram in yur state so you not gots to post anothfur photo liek dis in a few monfs!
iz aktully pastel torti. calico wud be mores white wif grey n orange spots. dis won gots all grey, wif white n orange spots.
but amenz to da spay/neuter!!
well, yes, you is teknikly correkt–IS pastel torti, but in CaLiCo, iffen you be tortie it otay fur da white to be inbisibull, and we still call yu CaLiCo (hmmmm, ya tink dey bought it? don’t let lacey susan see dis, she’ll kill mommy–mommy KNOWS better dan to confuse da different categorees) ….. we not wurry so much bout da naems. dere’s da classic calico, da harlequin calico, da blue-creems, da patched tabbies, da torbies….. (den, since we all kno, “it da red gene, stoopid,” dere’s da Honorary CaLiCos, yur abysillians, and yur bengals….
hee hee.
um, NEENER NEENER NEENER.
The orenj bebeh is using camouflage to hide in rug, it R not lost. No worries, mamacita.
IN SOVIET RUSSIA THE ORANJ WUNS HAS POISON YOU!
No, wate…that didnint come owt rite…
I suggest mamma kitty does what my kitty did. Give them to the dog to raise. Doggy was a great mum, kitty not so much
Dingo/Bull-terrier/Collie X doggy was very scary to small humans but world’s best kittymum
Iz didz notz haev sekzual relashunz wiht dat kittehn.
as foar the sheepskin, well . . . .
Gawdammit. U haz fownd mah seekrit base. We juss haz to beginz atak erlier dan plannded. Sheepskin Plah-tooon, AAAH-TAAAAAK!!! . . . . AAAHH-TAAAAAKK!!! . . . srsly, sheepskin platoon. . . this iz gettin embarassmnt. . .
Sheepzkin pl’toon iz veree tai-tai. Iz tyme fr nap. Attak laterz, wen moar awayk.
ROFL, “tai-tai” just cracks me up, I dunno why.
cawz itz funnee?
Oh yeah… DAT’S y!
Kannot tayk credut fr “tai-tai”. Saw it in et leest wun udder poast and fot it wud be appropeeyat heer.
LOL, “What I do now?” I remember that feeling when I was a new mom. People said, “Trust your instincts!” but I was too sleep-deprived to HAVE any!
Good thing those instincts kicked in later!
Exactamundo Woodchuck. Bein de new mom is so oberwhelmin, and it wooks jus wike dis kittehs fase. It’s bin twenny-free yeers for me, but I wiwl nebber fergit dat fewlin ob heplessness an confoozhun. It duz git bedder, kitteh! Fer true!
Yes, that’s what I thought – I remember feeling just like that. Prolly LOOKED like that, all OMIGOD.
2 tru 2 bes funnee, dat!!
I CAN HAS CHILD SUPPORT?
Momma shood grume hur
Bebbeez. So dey noez her ssent
and nebber be lawst
Karryz dem across
t3h Rume. So dey noez haow 2
fynd dayr way bakk Hoam
Jinjurr bawll uv fluff
iz t3h moast klevvur an brayv
Momma’z fayvoritt
Jack.
Jack, yur wurk alwaes hitz teh spot.
Fank you.
Yay! Mr. Jack… me lubs yoor pomez!
it takez a big villag to raise this manee babez
A big villag, or… big kitteh “tracts of land”! Gud fing mommeh haz a whole bunch uv… er… “tracts.”
LOL, Pythonity FTW!
“Bring owt ur kittehs… bring owt ur kittehs…”
“Heer’s wun!”
“I’z nawt a kitteh!”
“‘ee’z awlmoast a kitteh…”
hehehe!
Were, beehind teh kitteh? It iz teh kitteh!
This pic reminds me of my wife when we had our first baby. lol
OoooOoooOooooezzz NooooOooooOoooooezzzzz!!!1!1!!
Iyez noez Iyez took hit ebbery nite
Iyez so scierddy
Plz u be lubbin me
Ididn’tdoitnobodysawmeyoucan’tproveanything!
Bubba, I no he’s ginger, but he’s yours I swear.
DAY WALKER!!!!!!!
Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC: Hi… Mr. Jingles, is it? Now, who were you coming here to meet today?
Mr. Jingles: Uh, I was just comin to hang owt… with Kandy…
CH: With Kandy, a two day old kitten?
MJ: Uh, yeah. We was gonna play video gamez.
CH: How old are you, Mr. Jingles?
MJ: 3, but datz 24 in cat yaers.
CH: And you think it’s appropriate for a 24 year old cat to come here and meet a 2 day old kitten?
MJ: Uh, noes. We was just gon hang out… lissen, I is under arrests? I can go nowz?
CH: You’re free to walk out that door whenever you like.
MJ: Okey.
Jes do whut comez nachrallee, Mumma!
ANd here, on the other end of life:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19959718/
VERY kewl!
Jes do whut comez nachrallee, Mumma!
And here, on the other end of life:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19959718/
VERY kewl!
Dat is some freaky. At least nobuddy goes alone while Oscar is about.
Yes, B!
Dat b dah weigh I wans 2 goe: wiff kitteh curlid up nex 2 meh!!!!
Oscar getz… Oscar!
Nobuddy getz Oscar…he’s like teh wind, bebeh.
Oh hai Oscar. U wanna com snorgle wif me??
NNNOOOOOOoooooooooooo……
LOLZ
Oscar be kitteh vershun of Stark from Farscape!
IN UR NURSIN HOAM
CROSSIN SOULS OVUR
An’, moar importintlee: how da hell dis happin?
Rly! I wuz just lyin arown, gettin fat, an awl uv a suddin dese lil grubs starts coming owt uv mai girl-partz! An ai wuz awl liek, WTF? An dey wuz awl liek, MILK! An ai wuz liek, yoo weerd lil grubs, ware ai gitz enny milk? An ZOMG dey gotz sum milk owtta me an ai wuz awl liek, WTFBBQ???
Ai meen, dese grubs smell nyse an evverting, but dey poopin awl over mah blankits an makin lotz uv noyz an dey not effin gud conversashunalists. Wut up with dat?
Bob Barker says, “Spay or neuter your pet.”
Where’s Mother’s little helper when you need it?!!!
“. . . and it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day.” Oh, wait, wuz dat Rollin Stoanz refrunz?
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Paahhhleeessseeee
Someone give me a key, or a way to translate. Because I love ICHC, BUT honestly … how do I keep up? I’m getting a headache from reading the not quite text, the not quite phonetics.
“Nd paying dem lotz ov ur monies.”
My translation: not payin them lots of laughs of your money
Argh.
Seriously, argh, as in Peanuts, which is such an archaic cartoon reference, should I hate it or be reviled I understand it (ha ha) because I don’t.
Sometimes I think I understand you and at other times I can’t understand you and it’s driving me nuts! Crazy! Wack-a-do! Ahhhh!
Should I carry a sign? Do I have to be COOL ENOUGH? What the hell? Don’t make me get ICHC01 plates in my state to be worthy, it’s just too stupid.
Can’t your posts include some sort of language translation for us oldsters? Which, again, I hate to include myself within?
Ackshuly, matt has kindlee maded us a translator:
I has no idea iff I dun dat link rite. If nawt, type http://speaklolcat.com/ into ur browser.
Dont wurree, getz eeziur da moar u praktis. It halps tu reed dem owt lowd. Da impurrtant fing iz to eet lotsa cheezburgers if u getz frustraded. Or cookies. Wutever.
“Iyez noez Iyez took hit ebbery nite”
and just what the hell does THAT mean?
I am not something every night?
Seriously I love ICHC, but the abhorent attachment to language is driving me nuts.
Help me out? I’m getting a headache!
“I know I took it (the pill) every night.” Ai like the kitteh-speak, but in smaller dozes.
If you want help with a group’s lingo/language play/invented dialect, don’t refer to it as an “abhorrent attachment to language.”
“Abhorrent attachment to language”?
You mean the jokes?
It’s time to pull over and change the stick up your– never mind.
Don’t pick on us, you’re the one who wanted to come here.
You missed the joke. It went that way.
Call Anjelinna Joli. She adoptez.
Dat mayk Bradd Spitt run aweigh.
omfg funyest pitchr evar
weeeelllll… how bout nxt time use contrasepshyn?
Cannot has. Amurkin skoolz onee getz a munnee if dey teechez abstinentses.
Onlee ting abstinent iz da papa!
But da kiddlies, dey lerned well in da Clintun yeers: I did not has secks wiv dat ladee. So, oril secks iz cazual, wudever kinna ting. Poor kidses. Da more da Relijus Rite tries, da messdeder dey gets!
Face it – ur country iz roold by bush an dick. iz bownd to be an ishoo. . .
Amurkin yes, but diz kitteh not siberiun or rushun bloo or sumtin?
In Soviet Russia, birf control uses u!
Y dont u tawk ta kitteh huzbin?
Lyk gerl kitteh get prennint all by hersefs?
Tehr r liddel fuzzee creechurs in mah howse! Kwik! Call Orkin!
LMAO! I work at Orkin!! Well…sittin here readin lolcats at Orkin. hee hee!
You has kittens? DO WANT!
i iz gibin kittehs up fer adopshuns
I can haz teh social assistance?
(Yes, kitteh. Then u can haz teh spay. Bad hoomins for lettin kitteh get teh knocked up!)
Ware is Dr. Spock wen u needs him?
(Mah age. Let me show u it.)
LOLz! Hurrah for being FIXED!
NOOOOOOOOOO
(DO NOT WANT DO NOT WANT)
Yu shud hav thot of that befor yu got teh hotz for that gud-lukin tigur, mama kat…an nevur beleev them wen they say theyv had a vasektumee!
Evrybudy is blamin gerl kitteh onlee?
Lyk boy kat iz no stoopit alsos?
Wassdat?
reel life.
Cuz evvybuddy noes boykittehs be tomcattin around. B-sides, momma kittehs drive teh daddies away so dey wont eats teh bebbehs. Is sad but troo.
“Evrybodee knos, so it be okey.”
WTF?
Wen wil i lern ta stop dignefyin dis krap wif an ansur?
“Condoms.” Look it up.
U kno y is callt condom?
Coz too maney peeples, an kittehs, iz dum.
Ulso: hau wee knos de kat iz no merreed?
hao we noes is not teh uncle kitteh hoo jest got stukked kittehsitten “jest wile we pop roun to teh store, kthxbai.”
“No, wate!! Wut i duz if dey wakes up!! HALPS!!!!”
WIN!!!
1 tym I watchin kidzes, Momma sez “behbeh sleep, nother 2 or 3 owrz. I tel yu nuffin abowt behbeh.” so Momma leevz, I playz wif big kidzes, behbeh sleepin, abowt 20 minnits behbeh wakes up skreemin! I iz onlee 14, I no nuffin, I askin 6 yeer old kid en 4 yeer old kid fr halp! kwik, fynd dyper! kwik, fynd bottle! ok, chanj dyper, I ken do this! o wayt, behbeh iz boy, now I need kleen shirt fr me…at least behbeh kwit skreemin!
I ar doing it wrong???
This is the best lolcat I’ve seen in forever!
Kitteh, I has baby on the way and I feelz the same! We commizerates, K?
An, remembrs, if u duz nawt do EFERYFING jest purrfek wif yr liddle wuns, den u will be needin dah serfises of deh Nanny Kat to hep u fixes fing layter. U does not wunt dat. Wud be so embareassing, u noes. Beez on TV an efferybuddy sees u bees bad mommeh. Oh NOOOOOES. DO NOT WANT.
Best I’ve seen in a while. 10/10
Bewildurred cat iz bewildurred.
KITTN SUPORT ?!?!1
yr luk in yr faze says oll, yr scrwd like little mee!!!
gib bebekittehz to mee. i lurvs da bebez an gotz no kidzes…so moar room for kittehz!!! much snorglez… an yummi yummi guushifuuds 3xs day…
I IS BABY MOMMY!
d00z, dis daycaer job sux
i r NOT babydaddy!
1) I swear my cat had the same look a few days after having her kittens (and 8 weeks later, she still does sometimes, heh)
2) It takes me hours to read the comments on one post around here. How the hell do you people manage to type like that without your brains breaking?! :-p
need kitteh birf control…
well momma firtht ting joo wna doo is git ur babeh offa da bafrume floe!
UP FER ADOPSHUN!!