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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Mah Paws, let you show them to me.
Hey Everyone! Glad you all like the photo of Nike!
She’s my girlfriend’s cat who I happen to be cat sitting at the moment, and she happens to be an expert tucky-pawsy sitter. I did not actually take her paws away!
You can read all about her at http://www.tuesdayswithnike.com
You never come when I call you, anyway!
Oh my, the eyes are just too great for such a sad caption
i can has feets back plz? an needz cheezburger to make mah sad face go away.
drastik suddn wayt lawss kitteh. . . haz regretz.
et shudnt b speld face. it’s spelled faic in lolspeak.
picture full of win.
Stumpy cat says, “I can has slow moving cheezeburger?”
Ennybuddy seen mai ovver kitteh slippeh?
Pore no-legs kitteh! Sumbudy get him a skaetbord.
Oh teh visualz! Now dat wud be a monoboard kitteh!
so kitteh can push wif its nose? datz terribul! ^^
kitty uses tail as outboard motor – or, if gassy cat…
no can haz kikflip. can haz jetpack.
tawk abowt ur rocket kittehs!
faster den a speedin… *poot* o scuz meh kbai
Durh, kitteh haz invizible pahs.
Kold-feet kitteh says, ah needz blankitz!
dur, da kat id a prtndin ta be a snke.
CURSE MY LACK OF … holy cr*p, they took the whole d*mn leg !!! somebody get this kitty a skateboard and a coffee cup
( you just KNOW this photo is going to set off a whole thread of “what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who…” jokes … )
I not bizzyer den a wun-armd paper-hangr, buh moovin liek a…
O, dat b mean 2 teh legless kitteh!
GIBBEM IZ PAHS BAK!!!
Hai! Iz calleded Matt!
whut do you call a legless cat in the ocean ? bob !
Whatchoo call two legless kittehs on the windowsill?
Curt ‘n’ Rod.
wutchucall kitteh wid no legs in a pile of leaves?
Russel
Wutchu call a kitteh wif no legs playin baseyball? First base!
!!!!ow BG!!!bwaha.
wot do u cawl a deer wiv no iez? no i deer
wot do u cawl a deer wiv no iez an no legz? stil no i deer
wot do u cawl a deer wiv no iez an no legz an no bitz? stil no f#%kin i deer
wunst upons a tyme, waaaaaaay bak in dah 60s (yes, it wuz a reel tyme tho menny do nots members muches abowt it), der wuz a band in Shicago. Dah leed seenger was withowt dah armz and dah legz. Brotted him owt in a baskit, dey did. Duz ennybudy else owt der no wut dah nayme of dey band wuz? If not, I tellz layter if u asks nice. Is SOOOOOOOO NOT PC, but kind of funnee in a sik wai!
Pleeeeeeeeeeez 2 tell us!
plzplzplzplzplz OOHHHHHH plzplzplzplzplz
OHHHHHH pritteh plzez wid cheezburgers on top!!!!!!!
ICHC ate my answer!!! I will wayte to see if it comes fru, k? If not I will tries agin layter. Sumbuddy maybe did NAWT lyke de answer. Yes, it is that bad.
Altho, I fink Stend and TINA hav bof prolly sed wurser.
OKay, I iz goin to tries it agin, but wif asterickys and stuffs in da bad werd. Remembers now, U asked, and very nisely, too, I mite add. But if anyonez owt der duz not want to no, and theenks dey cannawt take it, den DON’T LOOK! K?
here it comes:
wuz black ppls band
wuz:
Bullet and dah skreemin n*gg&rs.
Now, members–u asked!!
Is troo storee, too.
tell me, and I’ll tell you all about the p0rnstar and the dr4g que3n comparing ‘the goods’ this weekend.
I told u. Naow iz yr tern!
ai tink wee aaaawl wannoo heer Stend’s pr0n storeez, so ai hoep iz nawt cuttin this thred, but “Altho, I fink Stend and TINA hav bof prolly sed wurser.” sk? ai haz nebber yoozd th ‘n’ word. has yoozd the s, f, c, a an d wurdz, an writn abowt gigant labiaflapz, sooercydal feetuzes, besteeyalitee, feeceez, crabz an herpeez but haz nebber yoozd the ‘n’ wurd. . . . awltho ai tink i sed ‘John Howard’ wun time. Ok, ur ryte. Haz sed wurser. 8o)
What do you call a cat with short legs and steel testicles?
Sparky
halps! kwikcarpit!!!
Or is kitteh standing shoulder-deep in oatmeals?
youz rite!!1!
ur floor…it haz a flaw!!!
Did I heard cheezburger beein opund frum itz wrappie paperz?
Don’t kry, lil’ legless emo kitteh!
I nose, he r so teh sad!! I can has hankee?
Poor kitteh — sinkin’ in quicksand in ur very own house. Hang on, kit! We’ll get you out!
Wait! I’ll fix it.
Dat shud be “Ey fix iz.” Wotch teh langwig
Besid, duct tape not fix dis problm. Dis job is for the emerjincee doktor.
Sillee kitteh, u has misplaced dem. Look unner u.
Dat’ll be 150 bucks for teh house call.
We exeps VISA, MASTERCARD & cheezburgers.
don worry my dadz haz awsom set of toolz
Fast Times FTW!!!!
I hadz a gray tabbeh wunst, name Legato, hu uzd to sit liek dis, wis her chin tuckt in & her eies klozd tite, an her tayl rappd aroun close, and no-legs. Mah bruvver calld her Meatloaf Cat wen she did dis.
Wen mai bun doez dis, Iz call it “loaf pozishun”.
I made u a catloaf…
…but it got up an walked away.
huh??
Saym wif mah bunz. If we no seez dere feetz, we kallz um “loavz”. Huzbnd sumtaimz sez he gunna put teh loavz in teh uvvin, but dey seemz unfayzed.
When mah kittehs sit liek this Ize call it deh “Hen Position” It like dey r laying eggs liek birdz
Yah, I allayz calld it ‘breadbaskit kitteh’, I dunno why…. Only my grrl kitteh sit dis way, boiz not fold up so tite.
cat wif 2 legs? I-lean
no leg kitteh in hot tub? Stu!
If wuz a dog, U can take for a drag!
Yesh. Was first fing in my haid. Meatloaf cat. Like da B. Kliban cats.
Noes, plz not to paints mah toenales agin. Iz so imbarissing!!
Noooo! Dey stoled mah pawz!1!!1
pawzned !!!
S1W kitteh: Rebel Wivout A Pawz
(ur Flav, him haz a Flavor?)
Not worreh, k?
Kitteh is still kitteh.
Nope!
Nose cheezeburgers undrneef me!
U go wai nao, kthxbai.
New purrsonlized kitteh kit. Sum assembleh rekwird, periferals wil comm in seprit shipmunt.
kitteh lite–now wif less appendageness!
Win! Hope de eebil doggeh next door no find boxez on doorsteep afore kitteh can claim dem.
ikea kitteh kan haz leetl spannr
when my kittys sit that way we call em volkswagon bugs
okey no fulins nao
waer’d u put mah feets?
Monorail kitteh iz off teh raylz.
My kitteh, she sit lik dis. 1 shake ov teh can ov kitteh treetz majikly restorez full leg funkshun.
“Okeh, heer’z deel. I sitz wif mah pawz folderd undr meh and lukz reelee sad, laik sew. U iz tayk it teh pikshur. We poztz on Inturnetzez. Stoopid hyoominz awl fink I iz poor li’l kitteh-no-legz. Dey grai. Dey feel giltee abowt havin apednujez. We can has PeyPal lynk so dey can sendz munee. Dey sendz lotz and lotz uv muneez. We mayke millyunz uv muneez. Bai menee cheezburger. Mebee evn ar own reztrawnt. U in?”
Plan iz full uv win an awesum, I’z in!
Kitteh sez:
When i wana gitz around itz kind of a drag.
Beanbag Kitteh: The newest “low-maintenance” pet! They have no legs, so they can’t scratch, and they stay wherever you put them — a lap, the bookshelf, the porch, wherever you choose! Beanbag Kitteh 2.0 will be completely photosynthetic, so you never have to feed them, either! Now available from InGen Industries.
MAGLEV CAT!
soo ambarrassin, me not kno wut maglev iz, goggled and nao kno!
thx 4 halpin mah edukashun, lewis!
“my hovercat is full of eels.”
doan b sad, kitteh wiv no pawws.
i’z carryin u evrwheeear …
he aint hevveh, hez mah kitteh.
Kittyloaf iz emo.
yesh, kitteh iz meetloafed.
mah frend, she sez wen kittehs sit lak dis, dey iz lak boats or swans floting.
kittehboat!
kitteh-loaf-boat????
Kitteh paynted by Margaret Keane.
http://www.keane-eyes.com/
Hover Kitteh stop for passinjers
Disabled kitteh is disabled!
hahaha
TWF
I not spam stop it plz
WTF!!!! What the hell why will this crap post but my comment wont/ Ir not offensive!!!!!!!!!
Kitteh sez getiin aroun here is kind of a drag
wordpress has been doing that a lot lately – when that happens I
1. browser back to the page I posted on
2. ‘reply to comment’ in the same space (the text should still be there, even tho it didn’t post)
3. sw1tch 0ut s0me v0wels f0r ast3riks 0r numb3rs, l1ke 4 p0rn sp4m
4. repost
OK!!
YAY! It werked! Thankx Stend!
I gives up. I dunna unnerstans how come i can post dis stuff…….but mah phunnie hoomurus comment won’t post. *sigh* When I coome up wif a reellie good one it won’t show up. I tries later mebbeh. But den sumwun else will sez it.
PS: 4re y0u sur3 y0u’r3 n0t sp4m? y0u c0uld b3 sp4m 4nd j0st n0t kn0w 1t? l0ls
I mite be a lil spammy.. I r sawft and porky…..lulz
mebbe u r bein filtered fur phunnee? Doan feel bad; i noes sum folks hoo r like dat irl.
interwebs iz styoopid agen?
melissa shurleh not being spam!!
lolfrenz needz much payshunz, think laik kitteh that miiaaoows outsaid window whin evrywun sleepz – nevr getz tiyud, nevr givz up – gud lessun 4 awl ov uz!
ur w0rdpr3ss, it ayt mah funnee. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . srsly.
Kitteh sez gettin aroun iz kind ofa drag
Kitt3h sez…gettin ar0und h3re is kind 0f a dr4g!
MY WHEELS !!! I CAN’T FEEL MY WHEELS oh wait …
vetrun kitteh iz in ur walter reed, suffrin ur maladministrahun
nonono stend, is “my wheels!! I can’t move my wheels” from RHPS. loves that movie. tried to go see it last year, but is toooo cold in chicago in october. have to be wearin loong down coat over fishnets.
whoopsie
*loong down coat over fishnets*
Thank you, my first snootful of coffee for the day. A day without a caffeinated nasal lavage is like a day without… I dunno, it’s been a loong time since I had a day without at least ONE snootful of coffee!
Dis B Arnold Sideways’ kitteh. He no liek Gaspode tho.
Buggrit! Millenium hand and Shrimp!!
Any uther Pratchett fanz heer?
I don no. mebbe we allz alown here. Can I has loldragon? Or mebbe the sene with the reward fur teh Patrican’s dawg?
Rocky FTW!!!!
Why’d u foo’s take away dem cute litta kitteh pahs??? I laik dem cute litta kitteh pahs!!! You son of a @!##!?&! Ima hurt u baaaaaad, foo!!!
Hovercat is down for maintenance
or should that be:
Huvercat are dwon fer mayntenentz
sayfwurd iz schadenfreude
“i can has carreeing to littahboks? pls?”
hemicorpectomy kitteh sez: at leest they dint take mai top half . . .
HAHA hemi…haha corp…ehehehe,,,etcomy…ahahaha…
Teh Dr’s hav wun kweschin fur yu – hortizontull oar verticull?!
awww
Kitteh befor me opend singularity in carpit. I falld in, halp plz!
(Also plz to be cleenin eye gooberz!)
sry kitteh, iz no wai ov halping. u is stuk, an wehn singoolariti clozs, u is to b splitted. rly sry.
on anudder nowt:
oh noes! teh laytst viktm ov kyoozeen trendz. Chyneez kitteh pahw sup iz becomin evr moar popyewler. Sai noes 2 kitteh paws suop!
nono! iz not singyoolayritee! iz splinching! kitteh needz to praktiss appurayting moar.
Cheezburger eated mah feetz!
Monorail cat is offline for routine maintenance. Please to has patience. Full service will be return soon.
onest, i telz u teh trooth – a skaree mistereeuz monstr caym an stool mai legz, so no, i canot giv u mai clahz 4 2 clip todai, sowee!
We call this pose either catloaf, as previously mentioned, or hovercat.
I usually call it catloaf.
i loves the eggus kittehs!
Did someone really remove the cats legs?
Awwwww, u no hev kitteh? No hampster? U NO HEV PETZEZ?!!1? U needz a petz. Furst u needz a eddicayshun – u can come b assisstant kittehsitter for mah kittehs & lern all bouts em. Dey’s deveeyus! Makes own legs disappear!
kittehs bein origameh essperts – dey kno awl da folds!
no wurree. kittehz uther legz r iShufflez
*snork*
Hewmins no steelz Pawz
Kitteh tukkd up lyke Chikkun
Tu keepz aowtz t3h koald
Tayl awl kurrld up tyte
Maykz Kitteh a smawl targit
4 da chillee drafts
Dohmesstikk Shoart Hayrz
Kannawt fluff up awl dat lawrj
Myte needz a Blankee
Jack.
NO! yoo can NOT has my shooze!
Loafcat…
iz loafing
I is camel waiting for rider
Don’t his eyes look just like Puss in Shrek 2?
Feet?
Feet?
…
NO FEET!!
iz klasik mufin posishun!
I be luvin all av eberwan’s storeez av dem’z kittehz! ^^ Maykes threds full of much win & awesum!
Oh, wow. My cat, also named Nike, lays the same way. I always call her kitty no-feets. Haha.
Dat kitteh is teh leanin! did joo konw dat peoples are being with falling off edge ALL TEH TIMES! dat poor kiteh must be full of sad
wai is u meanz 2 me???