NOW WITH ADDED KITTEH
capped and submitted by: Ben
« Previous I AR INOSENT | IZ NICE THX Next »
» 153 Comments
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
news from 
Contact Us
-
Who be Talkin'
tastes lik chikn?
tastes lik kitteh fabrick softunur, in ur cloze, makin’ furz in ur sweters. I’s dun think teh kitteh wantz to be ated.
Still doesn’t get dem stainz out tho.
But kitteh is in Meow Mix box…bettah than Alpo bag I s’pose!
there’s a prize in every box! this one’s a keeper! ^-^
ow ya! he is in kitteh food! dun u dare eet it, kitteh!
How to u’z instrukshons:
1) Opn Box
2) Remoov Kitteh
3) … eat?
4) Guilt
Plez be to making instrukshons bigger. I not get it rite.
No rly, i dun think teh kitteh wantz to be ated. It has a bocks off kitteh softenur, foar to makez huminz clothes moar +fur dmg. Teh kitteh ar playins a game of ‘lolcraft’ cuz his ar buffingz teh huminz. I sware kitteh doin’ it rite.
Traid tu yooz Fotoshawp fr tu mayk instrukshunz reedabul, but getz tu bluree. Iz definutlee Myow Mikz relaytd prawdukt tho.
Aha! is litter-box filler. Nao comes complete wif kitteh. Instruckshuns: Open box, remoov kitteh, pour filler in2 litter-box, add kitteh, stand bak. Scoop as nesessaree.
Wat mor cud ani humyn want?
1) Open box
2) Remove kitty
3) ???
4) Profit
WIN!!!
3: Kitteh chayses underpants nomez, keeps dem frum takin all de unnerpantses. $5 a day. Iz much proffit to keep unnerpants nomez away frum de panteez!!!
“gotta go to werk, werk all day…werk savin unnerpants hay!!!’
South Park, FTW!
3) huff kitteh
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Kitten_huffing
Well Hewwo! Welkum to mai feed stoar! Meet mai pet cat Melamine!
Wut is Melamine doin in mai cat fud bocks????
DATS da kweschun we all want ansurred!
Cawshun: Made on kwipment shared wiht nutz, soi, an eggz.
Harbls-in-a-Box, new from Nestle! A toothsome snack the whole family can enjoy!
DO NOT WANT! I never knew what “toothsome” meant, and in this context, I don’t want to think about it! PLEH!
ummm dey is teh chewee?
Noo…..but iz kinda fuzzy.
Kinda like likkin cotten wool
An heer is our deluxe calico version, wif extry fluff an bonus lazeree eyes. (badderees not included)
U no need badderies; kitteh eyes powered by cat-araks.
I thawt kittehs were solar powared?
If kittehz run on solar powerz, sun not strong enuf. Mah kittehz layin in teh sun ALL DAY AND climb unter teh blankies, AND lay in laps, AND… you gots pikcher. Needz baddereez jest fur lazer i’s.
Ooh. Tnx feur de hint. Tink i try getting badderies out nou.
BzzZZZttttTTTTT! YOW! No needz baddereezes, gots a fluffy calico nateral static source!
Uz Feel Like Kittehn 2 Nite?
very good
I used to HATE that dumercial. AAAGGGHHHH! * runnin away*
My mother used to work in a supermarket deli that sold roasted and fried chicken. At 5:20 or so, when the store was awash with on-the-way-home-what’s-for-dinner shoppers, the deli employees had to get on the in-store intercom and sing “D’you feel like chicken tonight, chicken tonight?” blah blah. The first time they did this, the deli completely ran out of chicken in about five minutes – they had quadruple sales that evening. Eventually they tripled their pre-jingle chicken sales.
The jingle? Was my mom’s idea.
I’m so ashamed.
oh hai
i thot id skeep tha part waer u puts fud in mah deesh
ill jus eet rite in bocks
kthx
Pleez to puts littrbox behind me so ah nebr hav to move.
sownz lyke mai dad…
kitteh deesh? az soon az I get mai hed in heer, i no needz no steenkin kitteh deesh!
He’s so little! Must be single serving size.
kittehs and bitz!
Dis *iz* a box ov Meow Mix. Whut did yoo *fink* wuz in it?
Nao wif x-tra myow?
When tiem to buy new box of kitteh food, recycle old box to make comfy kitteh bed.
it’s a good thing!
Da kootness faktor jus went off da scayle!!
i lyke kitteh, i lyke livur, meow mix, meow mix, plez delivur
dis be da best seereal box prize evar…
hay! war be mah seereal?
Urp.
Skyooz I.
I can has Meow Mix kitteh model job?
Kitteh says: I contaynz no tranz fat
Ebbeefing bettah
Wif addid Bebbee Kitteh
Eeben Munday bluez
Bawkz furree Insyde
Bebbee Kitteh Iezs luuk up
Feelz t3h Awll Bettahz
Bebbee Korul Mowff
Oapenz 2 yawnn peenk an wide
Hewmin must haz Smoo
Jack.
oops, my comment misplaced at end.
i can has anudder vote? dis haikoo zactly what i fink tu about dis kitteh.
Yellohbox Lite: containz toy kitteh, mey not run aweigh aftah opaning.
Lemme eat it!
umbringer are right; box am fabricic softnesser. Pliz kittee to not being licking of furr; otherthewise am much sicknessed kittee.
Boxes say “Myows Mex” rite onit!
it’s the meow mix fabric softer, of course. for people who want their clothes to stink of lightly heated dry cat food, which is all the rage now … really, where have you been? ;o)
I can see the ad now – man leaves for work in freshly laundered clothes, arrives at work covered in cats… joggers being chased by packs of cats thru public parks… children squealing in terror as packs of cats lick at them and their clothes – why hasn’t this been done sooner?
lub it! do cross-promoshun wiv puppeh seks hormoan deeyoderant an after-shayv, foar thee moar advencheruss consoomerz. *pfft*grrr*mrowr*hay!!*woof*hsst*chomp*F%$K!!*etc…
Hi, Stend,
U seem, uh, kalmer naow? Haz day soothed owt a bit, then? Iz owt of corset and off the job with fabulous pornstarqueenie? I wants moar detayls, plz. Sownds mahvelously fassinating, don’t u no? I just wents to husbuns fambly reyoonion today. Wuz fun, but not mahvelously fassinating! U lives an innerestin life, huh?
ooh, gah – only sounds like fun. is almost 3am monday and I’m on my last leg – somebody call betty ford and stick a fork in me, cause
I AM DONE
( the sick thing is, even now, I’m on here looking at lol’cats )
I wood todally bai dat produck, an sekrutlee swap it with peeples’ stuff at teh londreemat! Den sit bak and *cakkle* maddly wen dey leeve and hoards of kittehs atak
when kittens attack, tonight on FOX
When kittehs attak:
Q: What do u call a kitteh who buys cat food based on the pretty piktures on teh bocks, then skweezez self into teh bocks, then drinkz a martini?
A: Photoshopped, stuffed, and aboozed (OH NOES)!
From a box, but just like from scratch!
Yup–in a box, but ready to scratch!
Hi, this blog is very good and very funny. I discovered it from Time and since two weeks, I’m a big fan of lolcats. Get on with it !
Groenekweek (Green Chick) from Belgium
hy Groenekweek, I r in Belljum too… in Sterrebeek. wharbowts do u liev?
Oooher, mah head essplodes.
Kittehs wif Wallonian acksents. An French acksents. An German acksents.
Welcome! Wilkommen! Bienvenue! (the Wallonian will have to wait…four languages is my limit….)
“Mai hovercraft is full of eels…do u waaant to go back to my place bouncy bouncy?”
Mai sister wuz bitten by a moose….
Ich kahn nicht mehr schlagsanne essen!
“mind u, a moose bite can be rather painful…”
but dat iz Hungryan frayzbuk!!!4! I mait b leevin in Belljum, but I r Hungryan!
oh, an Mownty Paidnz Flygn Sirkuss ref FTW!!1!
It wuz teh only translation joke I could think of on short notice
whut dis doin’ waaay down heer? shuld be up in anudder post!
Drop your panties Sir William, I cannot wait until lunchtime!
owr nyu purr-duct: instunt kitteh
instrukshunz:
put tainy kitteh in bwol ov watr an remoov fuly grawn kitteh in twu minnids
fid, grooom, snorgl an jenrly luv kitteh all teh timez
u can has puring, ded mais an kitteh haer all ovar da plais as rewurdz
we wihs u a pleznt kompanyunsihp
i no do it
nobudy saw me
u caint prove nuttin
i was dead at the time! i was on the moon! with steve!
kitteh starter kit
Added kitteh iz leavin xtree speshul bonus in teh bocks!!
“I r not a meaw mix!”
“I is not cause kidknee failure.”
i luvz ur avatar!
Mah Boo Kitteh lykz dah Meow Mix… I yoost to calleded dem Himz “Num-Num Foodz”. Den after I started ICHCing, I call dem himz “Nom-Nom Foodz”
YOU ‘ll NEVER GET ANYTING LIKE DIS IN A QUACKER JACK BOX!!!!!!!!!!!
R fabrik sofner is SO sof, it spontanously generates fluffeh kittehs
FLOOF !!!
!!!! DATS where all the poofies unner mah sofa come from!
Yes. Is littel knowed fact that kittehs set seed under beds & sofas. Is evolushunary adaptashun to bein nootered. Fabric sofner is teh CATalyst.
Win!! +5Chzb
HEY YO!!!!!!!!!!! FEED ME I’M HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
An Add Kampayne boaff klevvur an wittee
Inkloodz a tynee, 2 kyoot fur wurdz Kitteh
When Hewminz oapin t3h Bawks
Bebbee Kitteh luukz up an tawlkz
Kreeayteeng a sensatshun boaff pleasant an pretteh
Jack.
Diznee mooveez naow cum in a kit,
thee star getz a 3 per cent split.
Thay mayk loadz off this racket,
plots an casts kept in packets,
Iz no wunder thare filmz naow iz sh. . . oorly lacking in authentiklee innervativ an inspyring produkshin valyooz.
aaaargh. woz nestin wiv JD an iz awl repliez goin evry witch wtf. IT EEEETZ MEEEEEEE!
iz nk TiNA… u iz ful ob da win no mattr ware ur nestid.
not that nestin wif JD is a bad fing, ob coars. wai iz it mai commentz jus doan come owt ryt sumtymz???? jus sayin. k thx bai nao.
IT EEEEETZ EVRYBAWDEEEEEE!!!!!
1. Cut a hole in teh box
2. Put ur kitteh in dat box
3. Make her open da box.
an dass da ways we duz it
AND – THAT – IZ – HOW – YU – DO – IIIIIIIIT
so totally JINX
and btw why didn’t my “reply” work?
“reply” is goofy right now but JINX
WTF? woz stikkin this up in da narkolepse comment and sumhow boingz down heer ryte after teho duz th saym funnee? DAMN YU INNERWEBZ, YU BUNSCH OF GODDAMD DURTY AYPZ!!!
woz also tinkin “ebery nyte in Noo Yawk Citteh, az peeple settle down insyde thare cozee apartments, millyunz ov kittehz jusst lyke Mr Snorkelz try to fynd themselvz shelter in mini-dumpsterz jusst lyke this wun an prepayr to faysse anuthr harsh nyte in thee open ayr. If yoo want to help, pleez cawl 1399-STOPITNOW and pledj yoor donayshun. If we kan rayze $300, we gonna buy ten Looweeville Sluggahz an den we go brayk da handz ov da hooevahz wot haz bin puttin theez freekin weerd liddle binz evrywhere.”
Yesh. Theenk I seez Sallee Struthrz in bakgrownd.
I can has bed and breakfast?
NOW wil yo feed mee!!
O I giv up.
gotta feed miseff.
My cats did this today. I bought cat food (kibble) last night and didn’t put it up. This morning the bag had been chewed into and partially eaten – despite the three FULL bowls of cat food in the usual feeding spot.
Little monsters.
awl kittehs at mi haus fed themownselves out ov dogfud bag. If choyse betwen opun bag n noo bag, opuned noo bag. dogfud evreewhar. Then we gets teh mousies. “We can has lotz fud?” Then dawg gets p-d off, eats the gushifud from kitteh bowl. I putz gushiefud on top of dryer, whare dawg cant reech. Wrong! dawg taks bowl down, eats all up, puts bowl back. He r smrt dawg, vry considrat.
Mousies hav to be goin, dey no use teh littrbochs.
I usez glutraps. catches awl teh kittehs, even catches dawgz tail. Vry much lolling, no dignetee. No much catchin teh mousies.
I givs up. I can has tupperware?
When I had teh mowsies, I usded teh “clamshell” type snappy-traps. Dey rilly easy to set, and U don’t snaps ur fingers (much). Peanut butter works well. Teh mowsies we had wuz so greedy that I wud set teh traps and one wud go off befoar I reeched teh top of teh basement stairz…
We dint has mousies we hadz RATSES! Pleh! Do not want! Called teh sterminator for dem. Den we puts teh doggeh & kitteh fud in galvinized steel bukkits wif lids cuz ratses kin chew thru tupperware.
Kittehs perfurr to open teh new bags becuz a) teh new fud is fresher & nommier & b) dey likes a challenge–Look, ma, no fumz!
if’n yooz gotz dem mouzez den yooz kittehnz iz no doinz demz jobz! t311 demz lahyzee kittehnz 2 stop b-in soo durn lahyzee n cathez sum mouzez!!
O, I lol and lol and lol . . . thx
Onlee hope for keepin drie fud at mai hous is hi cabinet wif chile-prufe lastch – evun closit dusnt wurk since my meezer can opun dorenobs. BlueMax will opun any noo pakij he can reech and eat himself sik. He even startz on tehm in the groshury sak wile Im unloadin othur groshureez, pokin his nose into all teh saks until he finds wun wif catfud pakij to leeve toof marks on.
OMG i r so lukee…eben wen I giv my poochee the empty bag of dogfud to likk or play wif or wutever, she just luks at me like “Wut? Wut u want i shud do wif dis?” She r such a gud doggeh, mah hed mite asplode.
Well, assept fur she jumped in teh pond yesterday and swam arownd chasin dukkehs wile i yelled at her. Dat were not so gud.
i can has anudder vote? dis haikoo zactly my finkin, tu.
oops! placed this comment back under jack’s haikoo wher it b-longz
Soree of sumwun else did for to post this alreadee, but small storee in New York Times on Caturday:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/21/business/21online.html?ex=1342756800&en=3b0faed9280af6bc&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink
it iz after storee on having teh green in biznez.
OMG, they reveeled Cheez’s reel name!!!
OMG nowai, yes, wai!
I iz agog.
Kewl! Ai am berry glad dat Cheez is makin munnies frum dis. Gud peeps dezerv gud munnies 4 makin us LOL all teh tiem. Way 2 go, Cheez & Tofu!
Hey Cheeze….s’okay……I forgitted yur name alreddy…..some daiz I furgitz mai own! Has to look at teh driverz lisens some daiz!
u bedder not change ur name affer teh nupchuals…den u be rilly confused.
u not noes wether u COL or COM!
In Soviet Russia, Meow Mix eats you.
Yeems!
YAY!!!
From a box, but ready to scratch!
AAAARG
OK WurdPres be mesin wit meeh
thppppppppt
One serving purrvides twice yr daily recommended floofiness!
we can haz forum-ulaic M E L T D O WTF’N!?!?!
iz akshully kittehz naym – Reddeh 2Scratch.
an sniff . . .
new caption:
O hai.
I gotted U catfudz, but I eated they.
ONOES CATFUDS IS MEEEEEEEE
DevilKitteh iz tryin 2 asplode yur head wif mindtwix.
Oh and kyootness.
I had too moar kyute pause & too moar kyute leetle wegs & nother floofy side for u but box eeted them.
wiht added kittah bery nootrishus foar spirit. muches purrrs adn snorgles bery bery fillign foar hoomans whoze habing horryble dayz. much wants!
Jus add milk
Ever notice wunce U taek someting out of teh package U can never get it to go back in teh right way?
God I love this site. Thank you so much lolcats!!!
dis weeks prize… I gots da layzrz!! pewpewpew!
i’m in ur baykin sodee, nootralyzin my odah
I r nawt ahnimal kraxkerz!
soylet green is KITTEHS! IT’S KITTEHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cud nawt maek Soylent Green owt uv kittehs… 2 much furz… they’d b “Soylent Fuzz.” Pleh.
heh heh, like teh regoolar soylent green izzint pleh. . .
hungreh kitteh sayz: DIS MAH FOODZ!
Now makes teh eyes whita den white
Kroonchy Bitez, for that smooth coat and shynee eyes
Very, very shynee.
kitteh comez as sepratez accezsoriz. for displayz only.
Wait. Yu biez kittehfud, opens it up, finds kitteh. Yu feeds teh kittehfud to teh kitteh. Then kittehfud is al gon. Yu has to go buy anuthr kittehfud. Yu openz it up, findz a nuthr kitteh. Feed teh kittehfud to two kittehs. Then yu go buyz anuthr kittehfud, opens it up, findz a nuthr nuthr kitteh…
HALP!
Dat is cat-pitalism 4 u!
Iz plotz to take ober teh werld. Dunno wai, kittehs alredee run teh werld. Leest dey run the Cheezburger Empire (en lay around on the Ottoman Empire en command the LaZboy Empire from behind).
Sry. Iz morning wif no coffeez. I gits goofy.
…u’ll get x2 thu cleaning power