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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Iz he cheezburglar? Has ol tyme burglar mask on!
I waz fraymd, I tell ya, fraymd!
Deh ahmaizing Maskded Bebbeh Kitteh will atemp to hit dah littrbox frum 3-storeez up… Yoo kidz dont trai dis at homez, k?
Nex week, he traiz dah saym trik, but BLINDFODED!
damn, is that why cats miss the box? LOL’S
Hahahahahahahaha… HA!
Effn lol
DAT’S MAI STOREE AN I’SSSS STICKIN TO IT!!!!!!!
I iz gonna bust outta here, see, cuz dey ain’t built a joint yet dat can hold Rico!
(Fanks to Netflix I has been watchin’ da gangsta moveez from da 30s & 40s. Now I can’t stop tawkin’ like dose guyz, yaknowwhuttahmean? Top of the world, ma!)
I ar excapig from alcatrazz
Malloree kitteh sengz
“coz ah woz born, yeh i woz boo-horn, booooorn baaaaad”
*run run run run*head-door*
“White Heat” ref FTW! Best ending ever…
Kaje match at de Arena tonyt!
Th’ Kitteh vs. Th’ Stranglor
An this wuns fer all de cheezburgers!
“Leeeetttss get reddy to SNOORRRRGGLLLLLEEEEE!!!!”
oh teh win! it hurtz!
‘inosent’ ma flufitayl, nawty caeg dansin kitteh!
♪♫Spydur Cat
Spydur Cat
Does whutever a Spydur Cat does…♫
Simpzones ref on da ichc. My univerzez just kollided for winz.
Don’t worry bebbah, we’ll get you out!
If da cheezburger don fitz, you must aquitz! Wait, dat not right…
Does not fit in mouth? Taeks smaller bitez, den…
An’ if it fit, you does not spit?
i can has conjugul visit?
Uh, nebber mind. Dey alreddy taeks mah harblz…
Don’t worreh kitteh. U joovynile. U gits awf ez.
but DON’T CHOO DOES IT AGINZ!!
DO NAWT GOES DOWN TEH PAF OF ILL REPOOTE!
IS TEH PLEH! DO NOT WANT!
Not even just a littl?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
ill re-poot? this isn’t gassy cat ;o)
( gassy cat, gassy cat, what have they been feeding you? )
w00tz fur Friends refs.
Um, is spelled “re-poote”–is perhaps French kitteh?
OH NOES! HEER WE GOES AGAIN!!1!!
don’t mess with me, honey – I’ve been playing the dramatic role of flying monkey for an internationally fabulous porn star all weekend, and hanging out with some FIERCE drag queens – I will CUT you, do not tempt me !!!
)
one more day, one more big party – I’m slathering some preperation H under my eyes here while trying to jam myself into this damn corset – telling you, it just doesn’t get any easier. one of these days I’m gonna invent some sort of fat molding compound you can just spray on your abs, them lie face down in something like a gladiators breastplate until the fat sets into place like a perfect six-pack cause this diet and exercise thing just isn’t enough, what w/ these 20-somethings coming up – I’m calling betty ford now for after the weekend, then scheduling for emergency liposuction afterwards (or maybe I should reverse that) – I’m gonna end up being one of those queens you look at and think “one more facelift and she’ll have a beard”, I can see it coming… PULL-IT-TOGETHER lulz
Whut, U rather do dat den hangs owt heer on ICHC? Prioritees!!
Okay, 2 things. Furst, I thinks I can safelee say without feer of contradiction, dat dere is not enuff beers in teh world to erase dat mental pic from mai brainz. Srsly, I don’ts even know whut u looks liek, but still it is burning in mai hed. THX a bunch, be seein’ u in mai nightmares in about half an hour.
Secondly-ish, if U wants teh sculpted body, maybee u needs to use some of dat balistics gel stuff dat teh meethbuster doods are always using. I’m sure you could find a good mould somewhere, den u just duck tapes teh finished product on to ur body…
BTW, this pr0n star u keep mentioning…has she posted here befoar? Is her initials…T.C.?
Photos plz!!!!!!!!!!!!
don’t mess with me, honey – I’ve been playing the dramatic role of flying monkey for an internationally fabulous p*rn star all weekend, and hanging out with some FIERCE dr*g que*ns – I will CUT you, do not tempt me !!!
)
one more day, one more big party – I’m slathering some preperation H under my eyes here while trying to jam myself into this d*mn corset – telling you, it just doesn’t get any easier. one of these days I’m gonna invent some sort of fat molding compound you can just spray on your abs, them lie face down in something like a gladiators bre*stplate until the fat sets into place like a perfect six-pack cause this diet and exercise thing just isn’t enough, what w/ these 20-somethings coming up (even if age and cunning trumps youth and beauty) – I’m calling betty ford now for after the weekend, then scheduling for emergency liposuction afterwards (or maybe I should reverse that) – I’m gonna end up being one of those que*ns you look at and think “one more facelift and she’ll have a beard”, I can see it coming… PULL-IT-TOGETHER lulz
It’s got to be tiring, being so totally fabulous. ;D
d*mn these double posts
honey, I passed trying to be fabulous a long time back – now it’s all about trying to hold it together long enough to find a husband, cause my biological clock is TICKING – that whistling sound you hear is the sound of my stock plummeting as I age off the circuit and into irrelevance… XD
Aww now Stend, u iz teh definishun of catch. Herez what u does:
1) no refined carbs inkluding beer (red wine tho iz imperatiff).
2) an that means no sugar (ecxept dark chocolat which iz also imperatiff, preferblee w/ red wine).
2) green veggie juice, multivits, good H2O, and cod liver oil daily.
3) juss watch those 20-sumting kittehs admire ur wizdum, energee, and un-puffy-face-ness.
well anyway this is my routine when i feels my stock, etc. heading south . . . an it wurks!
Wut duz teh cod libber oyl do? Iz 4 teh omega-3s?
yups. good for brain, nerves, mood, skin, mood, bones, oh, an mood.
no, dats kat wit diareea!
Onlee a lad! He’z unda privlidged an aboosed, perhaps, a litl bit confoosed!
don’t blame the sweet and tender hooligan
MMMMMMMm.
Sweet and tender hooligan.
I nomed teh sweet and tender hooligan last week, wif teh kung pao chicken and flied lice.
did u have with teh creme of sum yung gui?
Is fried rice, you plick!
hehe, lethal weapon ref
risin?
Onlee a Lad! ICHC Mayd Heem!
If paws no fit
U must acquit
Mebbe iz “if mittnz no fit”?
oj simpsen cat, IZ BENDIN HIS PAW! HAHAHA!
good timing considering the court ruling on guantanamo.
wot iz it now?
“this court finds, without even a little itty bitty bit ov innerfeerence from th administrayshun, that evree moozlim now walkin the Urth, did akshullee kill Jayzus and Elvis an JFK. We sentence yu awl to durka durka durka durka wiv no possibilitee ov a fari tr- i meen, no possibilitee ov paroooooole”
ROFL!!!!!!! An doan 4git dey got Anna Nicole as well… an Tammy Faye!
U teh kyootist jailburd i evr did see!
Elivs FTW!
Kitteh UFC Match!!
Reer nekkid snorgle!
Is them teh DNA sampels in dat box on teh left?
Yesh, him leeved dem jus for us to test! LOL! I meen PLEH!
I iz in yr cajes releesin yr prizoners.
naughteh kitteh!
Dat’s whut they all say, kitteh.
Convict Kitteh thinks:
“Dis inkarserashun iz
Striktlee for da dawgz.”
Parhiss Kitteh says “teh fud iz horrbull! Lunch iz a ballooney sandwich!! Dey call it mysteree meet. Pritty Scary. Too peeces of bred an sum mayonaiz. EEEeeewwwwwww!“
Needz nu kitteh litter. Is pleh in heer. Out pleeeez!
Beeg Hawnkeeng Burd Kayje
Kan nawt hoaldz Kagnee Kitteh
Himz Eckskaype Arrtist
Doar can haz slyde up
Simmpil lawk 2 pikk wif klaws
Kitteh klymez up hye
Needz 2 wurk much fasst
Oberhurd Hewminz talkeeng
Wayrz “Aboo Dobbee”?
Jack.
“I is a lolmonkey?” SCAPE FRUM TEH LITRBOCKS!!
Deez padz r maed fur climing!
En dat’z jes wut dey’l du!
En wun uv deez deyz deez padz r gunna….
O wayt, dat’z y u put me in heer.
Much win!
Prizun brayk kitteh is clymin ur wallz
if teh pah hasnt fhit…u mahst a quit
attikuh! attikuh!
Cattica!
lol, walcom 2 oz, hoap u enjoy ur stay
I can has haybeeus korepus? plz. i haz nuly diskovrd evdence dat kuld not be obtaaned wif due dilgence.
Cannot do! We lined Ur bocks wif Constitushun! Just cuz been law since befoar Manga Carrot, duzn’t meen iz good for cibilizashuns! {Mwa haha, at leest not de cibilizashuns WE want to create!!}
Evil rich oberloard prezidense: DO NOT WANT!!
manga carrot! mai brayne iz not wurkin’ so gud tooday, so dat’s da exxtra funnee to me!
Sori, but da stayt cort’s deturminashun dat de evdence iz meerly kumyulativ iz not an unreezunabl aplihkayshun uv kleerlee esstahblizhd Supreem Cort lau.
This comment is full of win and awesome.
Is full of win and awesome for legal types who read lolappellatejudges. For everybody else, is full of whut and pleh.
iz teh Hotel Catifornia?
He checked in & kin nevah leaf!
U can has chek in. No chek out! CAN. NOT. HAS!
WAIT!! tat’s mah boy! Haf munkee, haf kitteh, haf humid bean! Who put mah boy in teh cage?!?!
how yoo pernowns ur naem? peedeekinkee? peedeekyooinkee? i mus noes!!!!
Whut u meen, I is nawt munkee?
No u caint use teh chewbacca definse!
Southpark FTW!!1!1!1!1
Scwrew u guise, Iz goin home!
It’s a fluffy bunny! Everybuddy look at fluffy bunnee! (Iz on Fox Nooz, lookit lookit lookit!) Don tink, jus watch!!!
(*heads asplode everywhere*)
Dis Beez O.T…. swry… My D.I.L. just sent me dis… I think that some are Photoshopped… but some are undoubtedly reel…. DONOT WANT!!!
It wuzn’t meee. It wuz teh wun-armd dawg.
teh wallz are clozin’ in on me! Halp!
How longz do I must wate b4 post be showin??? It is usually Instnt!!! N I fergotted wat all I wrote about dis,,,,
,,, I needz cheezbrgr plz…. lolz
It r losted?? omygosh!! dis post b da instnt… where b uder 1???
Sometiems teh Intarwebz eated ur posts. Happenz to meh every nao and den. Sometiems teh page refresh wurks, other tiems teh patience.
Usually for meh it’s wun of mah extra-long drawn owt post-thingys.
also, az, um, stend or flartus essplayned to me, links sumtymes dont shoe up meeditlee. iff yoo taeks off da http bit, it shoes up fastur. iz halpful fer mee!
elefant-man kitteh: “I iz not an animal!…. o, wait, wtf! i iz wai too kyuut to bee in heer!!!”
omygosh,,, I wabed and wabed 4 ober an hour… Post lost,,,?*!!?*,, must be in teh abyss..Fro wat it R wrth… I was sent a link to dis thin dat ppl do to dey kittahs,,, Sum B PhotoShp’d,,, while udders luk reely reel… DO NOT WANT,,, the reel onz…
lyke thay say, “cage befoar QT”. *slap*
***groan*** Iz bad pun. But I stil luv u.
purrs befoar swine?
adopted kitteh wuz raizd bai munkees
ack. sry lolfrenz. ai shooda reeded alla da commentz afore i posting minez. nao iz lame and full ob da redundancee. plz forgib. k thx bai.
hay! iz nebber to be apawlogyzing for XS munkee jokes! the moar the betterer.
aw, thx TiNA… ai feelz mush betr nao.
priznors can haz cheezburgers. kthk.
Teh floor iz LAVAAAAA!
Lurve dat game!!
hoap iz a gud ting, mehbeh teh bess uv tings, n no gud ting efer dies…
and…
don’t u noes? ebery kitteh in here iz inosent…
Whut if we’re rilly teh wunz in teh cage, and kitteh is teh wun on teh outside?
Whoooaa…doooood….
Oh, kitteh, u is so guilty…
GUILTY OF TEH KYOOT!!
Kitteh’s ownerz had to lock him up at night becawse dey founds him on teh compooter surfin’ Theresa Cahorshak’s website…
I STILL don’t get this… what did I miss??!??!!??!
go back a few posts to the Christmas lite kitteh and read thru teh comments (the ref is up near the top, so u won’t have to reed very far)–that was teh start of teh T.C. running joke…
Parkour kitteh duz parkour!
Ohhh noesbodies noes da trubble I seenz
noesbody noes mah sorroes
she’s a bass! (extra Spaceballs refs wheee)
Attica! Attica!
i can has deja vu?
Cattica!!!
Cat Day Afternoon – izz gud flim!
But mebbe dis kitteh laik betta Teh Pawshank Redempshun!
That is adorable! Get Me Outta Here!
Purrs for a great week ahead!
…n’ dats wen i tampured wit de DNA evdense!
What few people realize is that this is ackshully a photo taken by investigators looking into the terrible practise of smuggling live pandas out of China. It seems a new wrinkle in the process has emerged, and the smugglers are dehydrating the pandas to cat size before shipping them out. Then, upon arrival, they dunks them in a bukkit of water and *FLOOF!* instant panda…
OH NOES!! i cannot b’leeve ennywun wud doo dat to teh kittehs! shayme on cheez & tofu fer alloween dis kynd of essploytayshun on dere syte! wee shud awl boikott meeditlee!
*dis haz bin brot to yoo by teh assoseeashun fer stoopid commentz on kleerly not bad pikshurs
Harsh mom harsh. dis was just spozd to b a TIME OUT!
Why to testing the DNA? It are not going to school class. To what be testing it in? It are will be good accomplished in chemistry, but from other subjects no so much good.
oh noes… I has duhlemma…
if I eats no mor cheezburgrs, meybe I can fits tru barz an eskayp…
halp!!4! wot shud I does?
i can haz fredomz?
fox riverz kitteh a.k.a cheeze-bag.
Akshully, therez NO SUCH TING as inosent kitteh. Tehy iz all baaaaad. Thatz wy they sit an smyul to therselfs. They thinkin baaaad thots.
It wazn’t yooh hoo made prezents on my skechbook? o:
Hoo waz it kitti? Hoo?
Monkey Cat… …monkeyin ’round.
if da glove no fit, u mst oquite