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i not barf.

I not barf. I messy eeter.

I messy eeter.

submitted by: kurt h.

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183 Comments »

Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?

» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

InfamousQBert

wut? i gotz sumfin’ on mah fayse?

 
Menopaws

ur mocha latte … has gud flavr.

BonzoGal

I eet all ur fome and whupt creem. Go git sum moar, plz.

 
Seward

Mah kitteh wunce sed dubble Kamikaze haz gud flavr. Mah kitteh also haz teh IQ of a slug. I finkin dere may be sum caws an efekt.

Melissa

Durr durr kamkikazme dont not do dat I been drainkin ‘em fer yeerz. Durrrdurrrdurrr.

 
turkeyburger (no relation)

IQ of slug. Much win. I thot only mah puppehs had dis issue. My puppeh will sneez and bonk hed on floor often. Not that legs are too short–just not teh brightest.

 
B!

Keep kitteh away from da SALT!!!!!

 
 
 
 
 
Tiki

Dude! I did not drunk liek 28 beerz…

(I wish I could post that pic for comparison, lolz)

 
LuvBJones

Can has tissue, plz?

 
persephone

Wut you mean? I not eet ur cookie doe ice creem! Y u alwayz blaymin me?

cmerry

dis happin 2 me 2! alwayz blame.. *wipes mouf* i not eat dah cupcakes neithr *hides wappers* so unfare..!

 
 
andy

Today I am sick and this picture made me feel barfy too.

Melissa

Sip a coke and eat saltine crackers reel slow. i hope u feelz bettah!

 
catt butt squirrel butt

Feels bettur, Andy. ichc iz a gud weigh 2 spennd a syk dai.

Flartus

i tuked 2 of them last week…my puppeh didnint think ichc wuz teh best use of my time, but she didnint unnerstand that goin fur a walk in 90 digrees wuznint an opshun.

kittehs r bedder 4 sick dez, i tinks.

CrazyOldLady

Hope yu ar muches better nao, lolfrien!

Flartus

*coff coff* gettin dere…but i prolly feelz bedder than andy!

 
 
 
 
 
Michele

dat suup dun taystd lyk teh yuck

 
Lisa

Whut yoo kant see iz that dis kitteh’s brudder walked bye an thwacked himz on teh hed jest az himz started drinkin himz miwlk. Brudder-kitteh iz laffin jest off-camra.

peregrinn

Yoo must has a brudder! Yoo unnerstanz teh sibblin relayshonship!

 
Lisa

I has no seebslings but I has 3 sonz and dis teh kinda fing dey doo. Dribes mumma nutz but iz kinda funnee sumtymes too. I laff wen dey noe lookin. ;-)

BonzoGal

Mai bestest fren has 4 kidz, she sez hardest ting to do is NOT LAFF wen kidz do funny/bad tings. She laff in udder room after dey leev. Den she call me up and tell me an ai laff big tiem! “Ur kid sed WUT in da klassrume??? ROFL!!!”

CrazyOldLady

Yeah…itz alwayeez funnee if iz sumwun elses kid…but not if it iz yurz!!

Flartus

Now I don feel so bad abowt alla fiting i didz wif my brudder. We wuz just enertanening the folks!

 
 
 
yvi-kitteh

diz happened to me once when i was an au pair…

5yr old boy learned noo word in kindergarten… went like “oooops, i farted” trying to get a reaction from me… it was teh funniest thing… so i tried really hard, not to grin, when i told him dat diz wuz a bad word and not funnay! lol

 
 
 
Seward

I has got icanhascheezburger rapt arownd mah liddul toe wiv mah big bloo eyez. Cute has a flavor.

 
D.R.

Mah, i gots ter stey hoam frum skuel t’days… not lyin ‘is tyme, honiss…

i gots bad tummy. :(

catt butt squirrel butt

DRs can has syk 2dai 2?? Iz an ichc eppademmick!

lolfrens! stai well! Drynk ur oringe jooss an tayke ur vitiminashens ov teh “C” varietee. Tuk ur sellvs in 2 bed an hang wiff lolcats. Dat mayke everee won bettur!

elfinugget

oboy. I nawt sik but I go znuggl mah kittehz an’ tayk napz ennywaez. :D

 
scarletkitty

Wat a koe-eenk-ee-deenk! I haz had a sik day 2! I just comed down stayrs a bit ago to chek on lolfrenzs. I haz been in bed since noon, wit a rumbly tummie and a headake and a feever. My kitteh haz bin standeeng gard at foot of bed and sumtimez chekeeng on me by meowering and sniffin me!

Annie

Awwwww. Annie kitteh taykes gud cair of mom.

tenhousecats

as dey sey, take two torties, and call me in da morning!

animalfrend

hiss ’bout tiem u showed up!

 
Annie

Dang it! effery tiem i go to wordpress that happens! i’m not meee anymore then!

 
 
 
Gladys

Kittehz is gud sickday caretakerz. Once longago, bofe me an my guy wuz very very sick (which wuz our own fawlt–kidz, don’t do drugz!) an it wuz seeriously 100 degreez owtside, which only made us sickr…my 2 kittehz (may they R.I.P cuz dey wuz som GUD kittehz, dem wuz) sat owtside our bedroom door, one on eech side, like lions at Art Institoot. Wuz touching.

Tho my current kittehz luv me (at mealtime, anyway) I fink if I wuz deffly sick, deze kittehz mite consider eeting me. Themz just lyke dat; I luvvem anywayz.

Flartus

duz u has a flavr of cheezburgerz??

 
jeanne

wen i wuz sik wit floo (at krismaz tym - DO NOT WANT!), my 2 kittehs staid wit me all teh dayz and nytz. come to snuzzl at mee and kurl up behynd my neez to sleep. best gud frenz!

 
 
 
 
 
Melissa

You can has napykin? plz?

 
Melissa

In Soviet Russia messy eeterz get charm school and 30 lashes. Wif a wet noodl.

stendhalismo

no spare noodle in soviet russia - 30 lashes w dead rat before eating

 
Menopaws

Then theyz dump u in borsht. In a bukkit. Iz crool punushmint calld “beeting.”

Erin

dey dumps da rat in da borsht u meen? giud proteen source!!

 
Moggy'sMum

**beeting**!!!

HA…very big wif the phunnie!

:)

Flartus

jes, i tink it bee wurth a WIN!

 
 
snippet

DEY gots bukkit??? Sumbuddy tel Lolrus!

 
durtykitteh

WIN! wif teh pun. Verry gud.

 
CrazyOldLady

beeting!!!!! FTW!!!

 
 
Melissa

An in charm School you walk ’round wif book an ur hed while wipin ur mouf.

 
elfinugget

in Soviet Russia, CharmSkool Gits U!!11!!!!

 
 
tokyorose

I can haz Belgian Dip?

 
ggnarl

Got mlk?
No, rly, Yu got mlk? Gimee

 
stendhalismo

MAJOR PLEH

I’m in ur bathroom
wrshpn yur porcelain goddess

Teho

Major Pleh reportin fr doody sir!

Pittypat

Maj. Pleh! Help! Jam!

Pittypat

edit: Maj. Pleh! Dood! Help! Jam!

 
 
 
Flartus

“Major Pleh, ur dinner’s gone
is your tums okay, is dere sumfing rong,
can u heers me, Major Pleh?”

Teho

LOL! Teh Thin White Puke.
(apologies to David Blowie… er, Bowie)

 
typingisnotactivism

maaaah brekfast came out ov a tin can,
thaaaaaaaaat iz why ah hurled.
chin iz dipped in spew, an i gotz less thumbs than yu

*jing-ga-jing ga-jing ga-jing-jing*

Flartus

“Dis is Major Pleh to grownd control,
i’z eeting off teh floor,
and i’m feeling in the most peculiar way,
and this fud tastes furry different…todaaaaay…”

typingisnotactivism

weev got ear-wurmz major Pleh
weev got ear-wurmz Major pleh
weev got eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear am i eeting from a tin can,
peeeeepz put on teh floor,
mah gawjuz eyez iz blue,
but wun shud be sea-green too…

 
 
 
sparklypoof

Thank you, now I have that in my head.

MassCara

This iz indeed the chunkiest thred ai’ve seen inna wyle.