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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Geico lizard sez, “pleez not to be calling me. You can not has insurance. Kthxs bai”
kitty is actually waiting for the lizard to arrive – is all part of her devious plan
“hello, I’m here to help you file your claim”
NOM NOM NOM
was stolen car, anyways
Oh, such a smart kitteh!!! ’bout time someone eated dat lizzurd
Noo, nooo…lizzurds and geckoez iz our friendz! Dey eatz bugs (especially cockroaches, nastiest bugz evah!)
TASTY WIN!
my sister in law had kitteh that did that. Chaseded dem lizurdz ’round teh edgz uv teh lawn, den leavz teh lizurd corpzez on teh step fer hooman mama to be proud of.
axualy hooman mama step on corpzez and SKREEEEEM, she not proud at all!
tastee ded lizzard, mommee?
not so grate, akshully
In Arizona had kitteh kaut lizzrds & eated them and it was okeh xcpt the tails makd him *koff*.
British Kitten forgets that those silly Americans drive on the wrong bloody side of the road!
Stoopie ‘mericanz!
i wuz jest keeping teh seet warm fur my frend, rly. I duznint even haz a drivers lisenze.
o sry bar-b
hop uz ok
Iz Parris Hilton kitteh!
oh noez!
The bestest way ta keep kitteh at home is ta make teh home atmosphere pleasant — and let teh air out of der tyres.
eeeerrr u wantz breeth into waht? tee hee sky iz be funny, oh i tinx im gon vom … nope, nope – i iz teh sober! waht car?
Yu can has inshuranz, but it cost 250$ worf of cheezburgers evry jeer…
…yah? Heer cost 250$ evry 6 munts … an dat’s wif teh oldr Barbiemobile!
So – yu liv in Southn Catifornia?
Ah’m in’s teh Suthern Callyfornya an I can has 2 pai $250 a munth. Wysh I’s b lyin.
Yowza! thaz gotta hurt. Heer in N.CentralFl, itz the “invisible drivrs” hoo jack up teh rates for teh rest of us … u noes dem peepl — u see a car coming at u being drivn by a set of knuckls. No hed, jus knuckls. Drivr all shrunkn up, so old iz mummifyd.
Der shuld be a law–dey shuld haf to ware der HAT wen dey be drivin so we awl know who dat iz comin down de road and can get owt of deh way!
barbie just cames out of nowheres!
i waz cheking demz owt and den car goe BOOMZ!
Then dat nimrod G.I. Joe came whippin ’round teh cornr in hiz Hummr…
No wuz OJ in wyte Bronko. I hitted gaz on purrpuz.
nice site
kitteh kat clauses ‘nother piel up?! wen will she lurn brb cars r fur brbies?!
thish wot hapnz wen i dryvz lyk a pusseh
i am famus, i wuz on moesha.
U wreked my Cat-illac!!!
FLYING BARBIE CAR!
Little kittehs dryve too fast, get in rekz. Old kittehs dryve too slo, leev blinkr on.
HA! Dis mayd me laff out loud in mai offiz, peepl luk at mee funni. I noe cares… :p
akshully, bebbeh kitteh wuz chanjin CDs and talkin on cattellite fone wif frendz in catmandu bowt partee planz on caturday. but had trubbl becos didnt has thumbz. oh noes.
paris hilton cat…
…is goen to jale.
…and gettin owt…
…and goin bak agen.
“Mama! …. itz not fair!” SHADDUP! What waz it ‘lissa calld her? Oh yah, a “stoopy little ho!” hahahaha!
you stolded my comment befores I could make it.
Dang.
Kitn tawk on cell-fone 2 much, drinkin frappoocheeno, chekin Crakberree… BOOM!
iz hard enuf doin all that wen u gots thums!
too cute,
why do all these blasted cats have accents?????? you no peek de english?
don’t all cats have accents? haven’t you noticed? pay closer attention
Um datz whar kitiz is frum, wunnadem playziz wif aksents.
Oar wer u raferringz to the kar being wif da callings ov “Accent”??
Praps dis person meens “Accent” liek dat MSG stuff u sprinkel on meet… NO PUT ACCENT ON KITTEHS! KITTEHS FRENZ, NOT FUD!
not nutrishus or delishus. kitteh will nom nom nom u rite bak if u try it!
I was just thinking it would be nice to “hear” their native language, then you has to capshuns subtitles
love it, you’re too funny!
“You may say a cat uses good grammar. But you get a couple of cats to pulling fur on top of a shed nights and you’ll hear such grammar as’ll give you the lockjaw.”
–Mark Twain
Mr. Twain musta heerd lolkitteh as she ar spoke.
Yu alwayz gotta accent-shuate the pawsitive.
linzy lohan kitteh iz in big trubulls again!
hopped up on catnip again, and don’t you know she’s going to flash her kitty at the paparazzi getting out of the car, just like britney and paris etc.
oh, wait. that is a kitty getting out of the car. nevermind …
don’t you know she’s going to flash her kitty at the paparazzi getting out of the car
Stop it youze KILLIN’ ME!
LOLZ
sumbunny haz to much time reedings US weekly…
Lindsee Paris an Britnee Kittehs all got da mange. Car crash iz Mel Gibsun kitteh.
“donchu knoe dat rabitz haz cawzd all da warz an kild jeezus an got me drunk an handed me da cah keyz”
lindsay lohan sez “to the brittle bones mobile !”
http://www.heavy.com/channel/1179
BEYOND lulz.
Blues Brothers kitteh iz on a mishun frum God
a full tank of gas and half a pack of cigs…
I can has house arrst wif fleee collr? LA Jail no haz cheezburgerz……..
Ohh kitteh – u needa hava conversayshin wif 12-step kitteh.
Dis wut I get foh rubernekkin in hevy trafik.
Hai I R Lindsay.
meeting wit Spears andz Hiltonz. Iz parkz herez. kthnxbye
Win!!1!
UH _ OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! BETTER GET MAACO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Onoez. I nawt eet nuffinz wif my katnip, it ‘fektid me way moar den I finked.
I problie havz to tayk breffalyzur, den dey zmell da katnip and katfuud and dat zpydar I eetid on my breff. I in trubul.
Zsa Zsa Gabor kitteh will slap hiway patrolmanz.
full tank of gas: $35
twelve pack of beer: $10
‘nother twelve pack of beer: $10
Watching kitteh get arrested for DUI: priceless
Last tym trid drived karz up hte tree but Mr. Squril gotted away… One moo klaim n insurinse rate go thru roofs…
‘S OK, kitteh. I cant paralel park nether.
oh noes! is u meadow soprano?
o and if you is, i can has answer to wat happened after blackout plz? ‘kthxbai
mebbe she maek yu a haerbal yu cant refyooz
I cud tell yu, but den Id haf to kill yu.
Iz chillin’ me! Wife and I rear-ended by 18 wheeler at stop light. we slidez under car in front, truck rollz over top of ow er car. I break nel and was ko’ed. Wife brek 5 ribz and puncture arm. Skeery!
O.O!!!
Are you commenting on the picture… or did that happen!?!?!?!?!?
Eeek! I’m so glad u & mrs.u ok now! Vr vr skeery!!!!
Srsly, Thornius? Wow … so glad u surviv w/o moar damag to u an wife!
u r so lukkees! Sumbuddy waching owt fur u!
Guardian kitteh?
gardein angelol!
dass 2 funny. sumwun needs 2 maek a gardein angelol piksha.
You broke… what? A nail?
Srry brek nek. Have spainl fuzyun in nek. two metl plates, 6 screws, bone splints, no pair-o-lies. Retire early. livs on in ternetz.
truk dryvr no can haz cheezburgr. truk dryvr can haz nukl sandwidge an nut crakrz.
owies!
thornius – hwdy, iz no dissensitiv heer, pleez undrstnd. yu an mrs yu gone thru brutal wtf an iz amayzin yu getz to b heer tuday capshnin kittehs…but dat iz funneest typo-losted-in-trnslashun evuh
“I break nel…”
“You broke…what? A nail?”
“Srry (!?!?!?!?!?!?) brek nek. Have spainl fuzyun. two metl plateses. 6 scrooz. titanyum ekzoskeltun. tranzmorphick vokodr develupt bai cyberdine systems. heet sencing satllite nuklr tracking deton8er. iz 1600 yeerz old. and cant never be dedded”
mr an mrs thorniusd izzed hielandr-termn8r kittehz beeyond thundrdome.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegh. I was really HOPING it was
broke a nail – like, sort of to offset your wife’s more serious injuries.I’m Very glad that you both came through although I’m sure the years surgeries, evaluations, rehab, and all the many flavors of therapy were no fun.
I know you know this already, but oh! So lucky. I live in an area where there is a LOT of 18 wheeler traffic, and probably2 out of any given 10 car/18x accidents Do Not End Well for the driver of the car. We had one guy flipped his pickup across the median, got ejected from his seat and landed in the (oncoming traffic’) road. There was no way the 18w could have stopped in time to avoid hitting him, so… he just kept on going. They were finding body parts of the victim as far away as Phoenix and I think Denver.
Terrifying stuff, and I’m so glad you and your wife are here to tell the tale.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OWCH! I was just driiiving along minding mi bizness when all those carz slid off the carrier in front of me!
Nice try kitteh!!!
(“dat’s mah story and ah’m sticken to it!”)
Iz kitteh named Billy Joel, by chance?
(“Hello–Ticket Office for Express Train to Hell? One plz, window seat. KTHXBAI”)
Kitteh named Brandi, she wuz on Moeeeesha.
Hi! That kitty needs insurance, because he was drinkin beer and a coffee and the little kitten crashed and needs isurance, well, its costs 250$ bud.
O hai ossifer
nOES! My name not Toonces!
WIN
LOL, I totally forgot about that! WIN for sure!
kitteh shud be charged with bein in posseshun of teh ceyootnuss
in teh first degree!
kitteh shud do less drinkin to kill teh pain! not good fer teh drivin skeels
Dis onlee furst offenss. Kitteh git coummuunitty survace. Shes naw wares bryte oranng jumpsoot an kleens trasch up off teh sydes of teh freiweighs.
pawis shud be doin diss too
pawis in jale DUZ meenz trasch of teh freiweighs
WOO-HOO! Yu got dat LOLRITE!!!
Mel Gibson Kitteh maxe Anti-cat-etic remarx to Cop Kitteh
squeek!
and he blamet it on teh booze, el jerko.
As the saying goes, “You say when you’re drunk that which you only dare think when you’re sober.” If it hadn’a been in his brainpan, it’d wouldn’a come out his pie hole…
kitty needs to call Eagleman.
Reck rilly happen Aug 25. 1999
Is chilling tale, Thornius. Whew!
DAMN DECEPTICAONZ! FRIGGER CAME OUTTA NOWHEREZ!
thash wot u get 4 bein an optimus…
optimus feline!
iz noo wave Voltron – 3 machines, 1 kitteh.
I nots Paris Hiltin, this da stuntz car!
eef u is in troobles
coll 1-555-AMB’LANS an we chase ‘em, fer sher!
woof woof! we goods loywers
Ossifer b4 you takes out notebook we can haz conversashun abowt this over dinner plz?
Pariz Hilton kitteh sayz, “I not know I cant drivez” no jail..nooooo
Liddle Kitteh is
kyoootest thing. Needz wurk on
Paralel Parking
Jack.
Dis iz y u nvr trust cat valeat. Day r payd mimiale wayge. Day eat cheezburger wile driving.
kitteh bumpa stickrs sezs:
howz mah drinkn? call 555-yoor-mutha.
my uthr car iz a tank.
honkz if yu hatez loud noyzs
my bald tirez iz bettr dan yoor tireded balz
yu kan taek da kitteh owt ov Texas, but yu cant taek a Texan owt ov der kitteh
HOnkz if yu luvs cheezes.
YER DOIN IT WRONG!!
I
Lindsey Lohan cat Hates the papparazi
thankz god we haz nine livez… ve can claim deathz insurenz nine timez!
Paris Hilton cat? (I’m sorry. Too easy. Next time I’ll try Nicole Ritchie).
i wurk at safe ottoz and klame iz not cuvered cuz u iz no warrin seet belt. Dee-nyd!
iz hopez other peepz ok!!! and kitteh!
Oh, that car…….. Um, I totaled it……
[...] kitteh’s other car n aksident, sry… [...]
it com frum outta nowhere, Iz swair
OH HAI.
i is checkin yuor automiblel fur..antz!
kthxbai.
i lol-ed