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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
abslootly. i tink iz not about Ahabz kwest 4 th grate whyt wael, but iz hoomankindz kwest 4 itzself. mmmm. fishz.
doh…wok at hims feets under table…..too smarty kitteh.
yes is cutesist part!
ohhh….leetle paw pads….too kewt!
piddiees! I lurve kitteh piddees.
blyndkitti reedz brayle feeryz… **SIGHS** U foargottid abowt Heizinburg’s uncertuntie prinssipul AGIN, puh-leez, der iz no waye dis kud werk. Evin if I kud seez it inzted of feelz it on toe-padz, I wud ztill saye u needz foar takingz moar tyme to FINK, lezz tyme to PUBLIZH, k??
‘but wayt’ sez kitteh, ‘mebbe iz hoep. i had tinkded yu woz tawking poop an hogwosh. i tawt yu iz dumdum labradraw-hed. i tinkded mebbe Paris Hilton didded yer teesis. but purrhaps, purrhaps,…yes! yes it iz. awl maek sence now. yu iz not dat stoopid. Iz cheezburgr crums on pagez 37 to 98.’
OMG dat iz wunnerfulz!!
toatlee..wen wee sukz da crumz upp, iz leevn Heizinburg’s unprincipuhld certunty fer dedded. i tinkz dat matt daymun mussed maek da moofy ov disses teesis. will bee starrn robin willyumz and mebbe….
U beated me to it again!
must type fastr…!
Dr. Kitteh was known to be the toughest professor to have on your dissertation panel, as he frowned upon any theory that did not take into account the historical significance of the cheezburger.
I confer upon thee a PhWIN!
I mayz disagreez wit ur theorees, but wil fite for ur rite to xpress them! I r democratic kitteh!
kitteh reeding buk not in catglish. is rly smrt kitteh. i luvs teh smrt kittehs and say kitteh, yu can reed tu me ani time.
I bleev kitteh reading in Chinese. I cantz read Chinese. Kitteh be smarter than me! Me feel stoopid now : (
Yes, in Catonese dialect
How you say “fishie” in Cantonese? “Nom Nom” I likez stir fried nom nom
FILOSOFY CAT SAYS:
THERE IS TRUTH BEHIND EVER LIE
EVEN IF THAT LIE LIES IN THE LIANEST LIAR EVAR!
the Lionest liar evar…..
Yoo do *so* haf to be givingz mee teh cheezburgers ebreetime ah ask but ah not *not* haf to comez to yoo ebreetime yoo call mee. It sayz so rite heer!
iz in teh contrac. i are union cat.
I has a manga an a limonayd. Life perfeck if I cud haz cheezburger now 2!
letz see. sleeping…stretching…eetin… getn stroekd…. scratchn viztrs… …playin…catrwallin…. maykn woopee….keepn u awaekz…. ahh, heerz a..oh… no, iz poopsin….i know, mebbe..o waitz, iz lyin in th sun…..ah yes, i tink der iz harf owr opning on Desembr 22, 2012 wen i can spend tyme givin a stufz about yoo – no promisez tho.
Plz to pensil me inn?
okz… but iz flatowt lykz an lizrd atz da carrcrasch.
wayt… iznt da werld gunna end on dat daye? nevurmynd, I problie bizzy. I pensul u in, but I maye havz to kansul.
fangz fur blown kitteh sneekzes. woz gunna be dooing da maek jumpzes ta forthe dimenshun befor givz-a-stuffzes apointmnt… wiskrzez!
dere iz 2 rum in teh buhdgitt fohr moawr cheezeburgers an gusheefud…jus leeves owf dah dawg fud!
Kitteh upset u wayt fer last minut to reed book….
….but will halp wit report anyway.
It sez rite heer, an I will be tryz not to laff
that “Dawgz havv ownrz an Catz hav Staff!”
A delteful Lupehole that I lykz a bunch
Ordurz me up a Cheezburger for Lunch
Jack.
Wayt a minnit…wut dis?
“Monday–Had cheezburgr, didn’t share wif kitteh.
Tuezday–Cheezburgr agan, ayt while cat playd wif shiny device.
Wendsday–Moar cheezburgrs, still not share wif kitteh.
Thursday–Cheezburgr for lunch. Released moth inna howse to keep kitteh bizzy so I could eat in peace.
Fryday–Cheezburgr and friez. Told kitteh it was baf tyme nao and he ran and hid. Many noms.
Caturday–Thinking abowt cheezburgr for dinner. How to keep kitteh away?”
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!11!!!!!
i liked it.
I’z concurz tat u haves teh rong particel, yew needs affares wif cheezburgr!!
Gimmeh a cheezburgr or I eet yr theorem!!
Say, dis Kipling guy write sum pritty good stuf. “I am teh cat who walks by hisself…”
Yes, I disagree with the theories, too!!!
Oh lolcat, string theory doesn’t mean a whopping great ball of yarn! *ear scritch, catnip treat*
O, iz poen frum the Straight Dope, about a cat…
“Schroedinger, Erwin! Professor of physics!
Wrote daring equations! Confounded his critics!
(Not bad, eh? Don’t worry. This part of the verse
Starts off pretty good, but it gets a lot worse.)
Win saw that the theory that Newton’d invented
By Einstein’s discov’ries had been badly dented.
What now? wailed his colleagues. Said Erwin, “Don’t panic,
No grease monkey I, but a quantum mechanic.
Consider electrons. Now, these teeny articles
Are sometimes like waves, and then sometimes like particles.
If that’s not confusing, the nuclear dance
Of electrons and suchlike is governed by chance!
No sweat, though–my theory permits us to judge
Where some of ‘em is and the rest of ‘em was.”
Not everyone bought this. It threatened to wreck
The comforting linkage of cause and effect.
E’en Einstein had doubts, and so Schroedinger tried
To tell him what quantum mechanics implied.
Said Win to Al, “Brother, suppose we’ve a cat,
And inside a tube we have put that cat at–
Along with a solitaire deck and some Fritos,
A bottle of Night Train, a couple mosquitoes
(Or something else rhyming) and, oh, if you got ‘em,
One vial prussic acid, one decaying ottom
Or atom–whatever–but when it emits,
A trigger device blasts the vial into bits
Which snuffs our poor kitty. The odds of this crime
Are 50 to 50 per hour each time.
The cylinder’s sealed. The hour’s passed away. Is
Our pussy still purring–or pushing up daisies?
Now, you’d say the cat either lives or it don’t
But quantum mechanics is stubborn and won’t.
Statistically speaking, the cat (goes the joke),
Is half a cat breathing and half a cat croaked.
To some this may seem a ridiculous split,
But quantum mechanics must answer, “Tough @#&!
We may not know much, but one thing’s fo’ sho’:
There’s things in the cosmos that we cannot know.
Shine light on electrons–you’ll cause them to swerve.
The act of observing disturbs the observed–
Which ruins your test. But then if there’s no testing
To see if a particle’s moving or resting
Why try to conjecture? Pure useless endeavor!
We know probability–certainty, never.’
The effect of this notion? I very much fear
‘Twill make doubtful all things that were formerly clear.
Till soon the cat doctors will say in reports,
“We’ve just flipped a coin and we’ve learned he’s a corpse.”‘
So saith Herr Erwin. Quoth Albert, “You’re nuts.
God doesn’t play dice with the universe, putz.
I’ll prove it!” he said, and the Lord knows he tried–
In vain–until fin’ly he more or less died.
Win spoke at the funeral: “Listen, dear friends,
Sweet Al was my buddy. I must make amends.
Though he doubted my theory, I’ll say of this saint:
Ten-to-one he’s in heaven–but five bucks says he ain’t.”
–CECIL ADAMS
datz frickin ill-hairy-as. tankz jwl.
OMG! Hubby and I crackded up! Cecil Adams has much win and awesome!
oh, i hads to sended dat to my daddee…he’s a filosofer siyince tipe guy. he gunna lurvs dat! Late fadder’s dei prezzie–thx!
I have always believed that kitties read with their paws … this pix is proof!
I thot they read with their tummies… Hmm, mebbee oxiliairee reeding devises in pawses….must revise ma theeree
i thot they reeded wif their buttses.
“oh hai. now that ur not reeding dat no moar, i can has skritches?”
See, kittehs has u awl foold–they read wif all teh abuv. Is ozmosiz.
Jus be suckin up teh informashun!
NOM NOM NOM I can has nowlege?
I’m concerned by the amount of hair on the human’s knuckles. Was HE a cat, too, before he read the magic spells in that book?
Helen Keller kitteh be makings historee.
Philosophical cat is philosophical.
Nice pic.
Dat man haz hairy knucklez.
An dat kitteh better lern to reed in verticl columnez, b/c dat langwige no is rite-to-left-going.
(Kitteh also looksez like my Snickakitteh, so iz much win! But Snickakitteh no sitz on lapz…him putz owt clawzes, goes ROWR!, leeps somwhere. Iz sad…him used to be lapkitteh, when him wuz bebekitteh, but now him grownedup boycat, no more luvvies for mumma. Cept at foodtime, of course. EVVYBUDDY luvs mumma wen she dishes out the nom noms.)
HIDDEN BUTTSECKS
………Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z
i iz lurning by ozmosis wif my eyez closed
EDUMACTION:
LERN ME A BOOK
Kwai-it. I is Evln Wud speed readun.
Blind kitteh readz brayel.
An two bumpeez iz letter arrah? Iz i feelz two bumpeez or tree?
Cool. Now only if you could get a cat to do the thinker pose.
i lyk reedan… imuh smrt kitteh!!!!
skolar cat… is skolarly