I drink
… to kill the pain
submitted by: dr4win9f00l
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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rhsb on ever feel like the jackie on ever feel like the catslave on ever feel like the onions and petunias on ever feel like the BuddyDitzmores Mom on ever feel like the bluesfan473 on ever feel like the bluesfan473 on ever feel like the catslave on ever feel like the rhsb on ever feel like the catslave on ever feel like the jk2kitteh on ever feel like the pampire on why yes . . . parrothead on ever feel like the bluesfan473 on ever feel like the 4point5kittehs on ever feel like the
HALP! Mah tong iz stucked to dah icez!! Dis no haz funneh, guiz!
their iz no ices, silly pantz
Iz all icez… sumbudy frozed it, n I thinkded it wuz watrz…
infissibeil ice.
tee hee
My faece r b stuuck! No funni guiz!!
the pain of having your head stuck in a glass? is anyone seeing a pattern here?
when i read diz, i immediately thought — alcoholism (is that a wurd?) is not funny.
i finks is supposed to be joke about alcoholics who drink to kill their emotional/mental pains…
is not so funny akshualy…
(both my parents were alcoholics when i was a kid/teenager… stopped nao, but i dont talk to them …)
yvi, I’m in da same boat as u.
But laffter halps! It rly, rly halps!
It duzzint diminush da compashun, I tink anyhoo.
yez laffter eez good. but no needz for compashun wif deez folkz. they bettar deal wif eet by themselves or wif professional halp.
bettar make urself happy and leave teh crapz behind!
make urself happy-u makes it soundz soo eezee . bet u iz yung kitteh.
“kuth I burndid mah tung on da zupar-hawt cheezburgur I tryd foar zteelz.”
*hugs*
I grew up with an alcoholic mom. Hell, she’s just gone downhill since then, too. I have stepped back and said, “I’ve done everything *I* can do. I need to live my own life now.” I just don’t talk to her much when she’s completely crazy.
–Elfi
elfi, i fink eez no use trying to help a person like dat. only makez u feel bad, coz u cant rly help them. they needz professional halp, and they needz to go foar eet by themselves! otharwise eet wont work.
eez bettar to have own life wifout teh crazy and just leave eet all behind.
*hugs*
yvi-maybe some day you will be able to get over yur pain….it iz vury hard (I know!) Sometimes it takez years to be givin forgivness to doze whu hav hurt yu.
Al-A-Non = GOOD HALP
hey CrazyOldLady.
i haz no problem wif forgiveness.. pplz who drink r poor foolz wif loads of problems. they cant handle themselfes – eez sad. no needz to be mad at them. but no needz to deal wif them eith0r. no good to be wif ppl who dont treat u well. bettar find nice ppl, eez bettar!
Yes, fren Yvi, obveeusly manee of us been in teh same boat … i think thatz where we hone r sens of hoomr … iz a coping mechanism. Much bettr to laff than the cries, yes?
yeah exactly menopaws, dats how i do eet 2!
when sumfink bad happenz in life u gotta deal wif eet anyhow, so why not laff and give eet the nelson (from teh simpsons) treatment – point ur fingar at eet and go HAHA!
i dwink to make it look liek i intended to get ma hed stuck in sumplayce too small fur it. AGIN.
(i wish i’d red da page in da cat manual where it sed dat part ob my job was to make da hoomins laff AFORE i signed on fur dis pet bidness.)
agree wif yvi, though one or two loldrinks are lovely. This pic made me sads that lolkitteh has sunk so lows
.
yeah, nuffink wrong wif a glass of wine wif dinnar. but kittehs shud not drink when they eez not happy – just makes everyfink worse and gives u addictive behaviour patt0rns – and that: do not want!
oh u guyz, fank u so much!
bu u know
I eez ovar eet! 
my mom suckz, so f*** her! 
haha, she can be miserable by her own self, is none of mah business – neva haz been. 
i’m a pretty balanceh happy kitteh – well, not so balanced when the H in teh ADHD comes thru sumtimez. XD but in general – I eez happy cat! do not want cheezburgar tho. *hehe*
i just dont like alcoholics, and stoopeed behaviour like deez, when u do sumfink thats not good 4 urself and teh ones around urself, just becoz ur not capable of talking about ur problems wif sumbuddy else and dealing wif them like an adult shud ^^
awww, hoomin, we iz verra sorri . kitteh catz iz 4 luvin U naow. we thinks U deeservz gud snoggles.
heer iz verchooel purrrrr =^-^= =^-^= frum Noor n Pansy n dey Mommee
1m 1n Ur lawlkatz,
b!7ch1n bout ur piktur
Go angst somewhere else.
Please?
Iz self-medicate, not alkuholizm
add: i suppose, fluid in glass is thought to be some sort of clear colored alcohol like vodka, not water.
The Dramatic Chipmunk says “he’s an alcoholic?”
http://www.13gb.com/videos/2872/popular/
sorry – stuck on The Dramatic Chipmunk right now ;o)
gna, i need speakers, lol, i have seen but not yet heard the dramatic chipmunk *g
ZOMG! That chipmunk just scared the sh*t outta me! Kinda reminded me of my mother after I came home late in high school. BWAHAHAHA!!!
Or mebbee de payn ov having longtung!
Longcat’s tung is LOOOOONNNGG….
Maybe kittehs ‘n glassis r lik climbers ‘n mountains:
“Y do u want to scale Mt. Everest?”
“Um … ‘cos itz there.”
Same wif puppehs ‘n sofas … they noe they not supposd to, but…they…jus…cant…help…it!
eeeeezackly! mebbe wud needz teh drinkz less ef he gots him hed out ov teh glass!
“The doctor said I wouldn’t have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there.”
I would think that having your head stuck in a glass would cause more pain than he’s trying to make go away…
mayhaps heez uh depressed kitteh. poor littahl kitteh no liek zoloft
neither du eye…makez me krankee!
Found this on one of those cocktail recipe websites…
—
LOLCAT
Ingredients:
* 3oz chilled Vodka
* fresh Ginger
Mixing Instructions:
Pour chilled vodka into frosted glass. Garnish with fresh Ginger.
oki thats how u make ginger lolcat, but what about tabby lolcats and tortie lolcats?
Umm… fresh Tabby, and fresh Tortie?
Pleh!
tooo mush furry to go duwn -git stucc and frow up da furbal
to mak tortie lolcat use “turtle” candy ™ instead of ginger.
to mak tabby lolcat swirl chocolate syrup in glass before vodka.
to mak siamese lolcat, use tequlia insted of vodka.
and keep teh ginger cause siamese are spicy
Perfect! Hee!
WIN!!!
ZOMG dont do it!
Vodka + glass be coldz
Ginger be makin tummee feel hotz
Drinkin dis be OW OW OW OW OW hed goez kablooee!
Thirsty cat is thirsty
Zing!
drinking sprite — ur doin eet wrong!!
(curse my lack of opposable thumbs)
hey – that’s my line !!! LOL’S
pwnd?
Hahahaha…..Stend, yu had tu no sumone wuz gonna steel it!! LOL!
im in ur cup…. and i’s cant git owt.
Next he be walkin backwurds shakin his hed then good-by cup!
i noes dere is sekrit dekoderring down deres
I woke at four in the morning the other night to catch my ancient kitty doing just that out of the water glass on my bedside table…
Kitteh seez yoo wenz yoo seep-seepz n takeses sipz of yoo tasty befrage.
Dont letz teh oldz fogiez foolz youse. My 17.5 yrz oldz dids its tooz. And hez looks so prouds of hez selfs, “Yeah, and…..what you gonnaz do about it”. He all so snuck arounds and played with the bebehs kittehs at night, and playz the grumpz during the daes.
i feelz dis kitteh’s pane
pane of glass?
nose dive! nose dive! nose dive! waaaah! head stuck….argghhh slurp slurp.. eheheh!
yippppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh- me two!
oh was dis waterz fur u?
my bad.
I understand kitteh.
My Bess does this whenever I have water. That crazy cat will climb my thirsty butt to get at it. I’d need 10 hands to keep her off the glass. She beats me every time.
Tri givin her a glass for herself!!
Hay, now, there’s a concept? A sippy cup for kitteh! kitthy cup?
Won’t wurk. Kitteh wants UR glass.
in communist china, kitteh drinks YOU!
around here, it’s not plain water. it’s ICE WATER. jess MUST have da ice water. i not too smrt sumtimes, so himz furst summer here, he drownded three pawboards before i lerned to just put da glass on da floor fur him afore i eben try to habe eny. can’t count how meny spilled glasses/mugs/cups ob icy water soaked into da rugs in dis house. and, ob course, he went and teeched da kittuns dis cyoot trik. he, at leest DWINKS da water afore he knocks da glass ober. tael’r just paws at it til it falls.
i can put ice in dere bowl, he cudn’t care less. wants MY water wif ice.
(dis da sayme cat who shredded a set ob iv lines dat were hanging ober da couch–eitfhur you unnerstan, or you neber will–and drayned an almost full bag. digital cameras do NOT do well wif saline hydration, letmetellyoudis.)
all dere pitures up on my purrtend blog now, btw.
i drink…therefor i am…
srsly, all my catz drink from glasses. water bowl? pleh.
Has gud flavr
Mine do too. No matter how many different water bowls I try, they go right for the glass every time. It’s the weirdest thing.
(I like your name better than mine.
)
Have you tried drinking from the water bowls?
thx…maybe I’ll legally change it…altho husband not like “WTF” as middle initials.
LOL!!!
Dis is XACKLY wy I hav water bottl at bedsyd for nite-time drink, not glas. Kitteh backwash BAD.
bottlez wif lidz!!!
Yep – bcz if BlueMax cant get my atenshun, he starts pushin teh stuf off. Book-klunk. Klenex box – klunk. Pil botl – klunk. Clok – klunk. Watr – Splosh!!!
i feelz ur payn!! kittenkitten ruinated mah GF’s ‘puter! bad kittenkitten! no cheerios fer yoo!
i keep a clipper next to da bed. (purrsians, ya know? gots one in da libing room, too–and brushes and combs effury playce). woked up one morning, and found dey’d knocked da next-to-da-bed clipper INTO da next-to-da-bed, in da-bed-side-drawer, glass ob water. subtle, huh? (hee hee–it were a corded/cordless one, so once it dried out, i unplugged it and tried it–still werks! ha!)
I don’t leave a cup of water out anymore having watched out tabby repeatedly sit and look at the cup for ages (to lull me into a false sense of security) and then reach out lightening quick and knock it over. I finally wised up and only drink water out of water bottles. It has saved me many a mop up but I think Chester is not too happy to have one of his diversions taken away.
Doan worriee….Chester will find sumtheeng else!
Hay that are a reference to monty python!
Pain is frm no cheezburger
Kitteh has face like 60 Minitz Andy Rooney — no wonder can has pain!
i be sad day when he dies. if he evar do. i jus ador him.
wate a meenet, dis no meelk deesh…
i rly needz halps
srsly
plz
I’m in ur 12 step meetin, collectin ur bumpper stickaz:
I’z Higher Pawered!
Leggo, Let Gawd!
Cheezey Duzzit!
DO want yur bumper steekerz!
(Srsly sowwy iff diss offenz ennybuddy. *HUGZ*)
Ok kitteh – don wanna brak ur nonimitty but…lemme mind yu…
Step Wun – We mitted we were powless ova cheezburgaz
Step Too – Kaym ta baleev a Powah grayta than arselvz cud restor ar sanittee
Step Free – Mayd uh sishzin ta turn ar will ann ar lyvz ovah to the kair uv GOD az we unnerstud him
Step Fore – Mayd a feerliss n morull invetori uv arselvz
Step Fyv – Mitted ta GOD, an arselvz, an other kittehz da zact naychur uv ar rongz
Step Sicks – Wur tirely reddy to hav GOD ramoov awl dese karikta defex
Step Sevin – Humlee axed him ta ramoov ar shore cummingz
Step Ate – Mayd a list uv all the crechurz we had harmed an becaym willing to mayk amenzez
Step Nyn – Mayd amenzez whair posbull sept when ta do so wud injur dem ur udderz (srsly no cow/milk joekz plz – kthx)
Step Tin – Cuntinyood ta tayk persnull enventry n when we wur rong n promtlee mitted it
Step Levin – Sot thru prayr n medtashin to umprov ar conshiss contact wif GOD az we unnerstud him prayn onlee fur nolije uv his will fur us n tha powah ta carreh it owt
Step Twelv – Haveen had spirchull waykneen az zult uv deses here stepz, tryed ta carreh dis messij to ovah cheezburga-licks – AN – to praktiss deses prince bulls in AWL ar fairz.
Wun dai atta tyme, kitteh.
OH.
EM.
GEE.
i iz ur eeturnel slayv. WIN!
Super WIN!
but all kittehs are already GODs
I is in ur glas, creaytin a vakyoom
Ha!
P.S. I has kitteh named Domino. Him’s all white with black tail & two black spotses over he ears. I calls him Dominutsy tho. He crazy kitteh.
Ah buhned mah tund on da hawt cheezburgr…
pls dont do dat kitteh. we can gets you halp elsewherez. I takes u to profeshunl.
my cat does that, too
That stuff only numbs the pain, it don’t make it go away.
Hemmingway cat is looking for his clean, well lighted place.
Love the comment, but I think it needs a different picture.
needs six-toed cat pic
FTW!
wut he doz whin alla deeshes undr teh glazez piling up? we likz R Momme 2 reed us storeez ’bout old hoominz fishin n bullz wif blud. we carneevoars aftall. Momme giving us teh tofudoodoo, PLEAH!
Mah kitteh does dis all the times. No glass is left alone in mah house!
I know a kitteh dat puts her PAW in da glass, and daintily removes a drop of water, (or milk), licks it off, den does it again. And again. And again. Even in her water dish she does dis.
my tortie kitteh Coaly and black kitteh Tim both do this. my snoshoe don’t tho.
Muh kiitay is all black and thats the only way he’ll drinkz anything. He likes muh wine. He steals it! !
i haf 2 kittehs wat duz dat, an one of dem likes to du it in da water disch on da sink and wehn im on da potty she cumz up and duz it an lieks to shake da water off her paw all ofer mees. cold in da winter.
This made me laugh until I teared up.
Funneee! Wheeee!
“I drink to kill the pain.”
Don’t we all, lolcat. Don’t we all.
I drink
to chill the brain.
Dis glas iz halv fullz of meh headz
Kitty thirstification satisfied with tonguelashings of cold wet stuff.
me trying…itz at de tip of mah tung.
Tequila, pleh. I jes want teh wurm.
The dutch word for male cat is Kater,wihich,ironically,is ALSO the dutch word for hangover.
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