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Cheezburger Network Blog
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Cheezburger Network Blog
You think I’m fat now, you should have seen me before I started TrimSpa.
This is just wrong.D: Owners of kittehs like this should be arrested for animal cruelty, unless this is a fat kitteh soot….
Sometimes the cats are still completely healthy even though they look like this.
A-freakin’-men to that.
I’m so sick and tired of hearing that I’m overfeeding my Big Fat, and that’s abuse, and I should put her on a diet.
DX She IS dieting! DX I am dieting! DX We exercise! DX We don’t eat much! DX It’s not working! DX I think we have thyroid problems, althought they try to tell me otherwise. >_> For both of us.
Jsut kawz nawt itteh bitteh kitteh or itteh bitteh hyoomin, it duz nawt meen diabeetus, ot duz nawt meen abyooz. It meen stoopy dyit nawt wrkn. DX And I REALLY need to lose the weight, cause my grandma AND ma BOTH have DIABEETUS, and all of us are at least 50 pounds overweight. DX DO NOT WANT DIABEETUS I HAZ ENUF BALD SPOTZ AZ IT R!
O ah frgawt-
1) KITTEH BETE ANRE- ANERX- 2 SKINEH DEZEEZ
2) Leest kitteh nawt undrfed, dat wrz dn ovrfed, undrfed kitteh sufr mr dn ovrfed kitteh msot tiemz.
3)”Ah nawt fat- Ah helfy! U jsut jeluz/ U r d 1 datz 2 skineh!”
Yeah my kitteh is aboutz 20 pounds and is soooo healthy
yah mi kitteh iz fahtee tooo an he gitz lo-kalree kiteh fud. I donno whi mi
kitteh still fahtee but iz hapee un udder dan big vry hlthee.
Mor kitteh to luv n pet.
mabee joo hav da superslo metabowlissum, and den joo taik too much fatz and carbz and stuffz out of your foodz, even if joo dont need thoze.
yea. 2 bad ppl nevr think dat about ppl.
Yeah even though it is freakishly weird
Diabetes is worth it.
oh poor kitteh. Still taht means ther bes mor kitteh to schnuggle
noes moar lahrd fur kittah!!!
OK. This is a fatcat.
lap sez OOF
cee i’s dihd eetz ur fambly!!
dat owner needs to be responsible and put dah kitteh on a diet!
my cat weighs 23 lbs and hes on a diet!!! just cuz hes fat duznt meen hez not purrrfectly healthy!!!!
i iz taxidermeh!
Poor thing, probably does have the diabetes for real. PUT KITTEH ON DIAT PLAN, EVIL HUMANS.
he is healthy i bet!!! hes just a fatty!!! lots of cats r that way!!!
Kitteh ish a roly poly. Is kyoot but vry unhelfie, kitteh needs a dietses. I hopes kitteh does not has diabeetus.
kitteh haz bin en yur kichenz eetn yuz fuz, fer reelz
gah typos! “yur fudz”, that was supposed to be
poar notyay kitteh
oar kitteh wuz tooo much fatses last year n we putted him on dietz…. he now haf the kitteh he wuz n much moar betterz!!
he maed much whininz an rowrlinz when he seed how notmuch fud wuz in bowlz… he lik WTF? but we sed, kitteh, u be much moar skinnies soon and he wuz!
Holy Moly. Are you sure the cat didn’t eat Kate Moss?
Kitteh sez: “Stoopid hughmons…dun u no camra ads ten powns? Gimme brek!”
Yeah, I tried putting low calorie food down for my six Kittehs…..they just ate MORE OF IT!!
I NOES ON DIETZ. I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGERZ!!!!!!!
whut cheezburgur? i didnt eats it.
oh kitteh, I hoep u don’t get diabeetus!
Mehbee kitteh has thigh-royd parblem.
I has Double Chinz, liek Double Cheezburger!
Fwewwy!
It looks like my kitty! Except mine isn’t QUITE that fat…. I think she was 16 pounds last time I weighed her. The vet said she was fine. :p
Ayyyy that poor kittah…I put my friend’s kittah on a diet, cuz his brudda was sick and he was happier as he lost the weight and played much more!
Wow. I thought mine Mr. Peaches (aka Catburger) was fat, but that cat has major belli.
Catburger weighs 20 lbs, and him has been on diet for long time. Happily, him does not have teh diabeetus. Him eats half of a 13.5 oz can of high quality cat fudz every day, split up into two meals.
I am thinking of putting hims on a raw diet.
make ur kittah thinner. itll die if it doesnt get skinnier
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My Annie kitteh not dat fat, but still beeeeeeeg kitteh. We has two story house,
she goez up and down stairz, we puts her on diet foodz, we playz wit her. She iz
still exacerly same size as when we getz her from shelter 3 yearz ago. She iz
not sick, is fine. But sumetimez has trubble wit teh gruuming uf deh back. So
I brushez her to help out. Wut else to do? Mebbe is her metabolizms?
poar kittah. why humanz let himz be so unhelthy? an now dere’s also teh risk dat pete doherty iz wantz to date kittah…
Dat kitteh luks liek a coffee tabl turned upside-downz…lolz
My Newman was 16 lbs. at his heaviest – but his daddy was at least 25, and the size of a bed pillow. We have pictures.
Sorry I can’t speak kitteh or lolcat – need a course, of course.
PS – Beccamutt for the win!
i has three chinz!
Mebbe Kittah will design range foar topshop and can sell on e-bay for loadsa profitz?
Tubby kitteh vs. heroin-snorting supermodel: which 1 u want to hug moar? Discuss.
my badcat waz beeeg kitteh (not like dis kitteh–dis kitteh not beeeg, he bEeEeEeEeEeEeEg) an we putted himz on a diet. him wuz crankified fer a while but now him like Hey, i can has more pounceage an more playage an more beat-up-on-dat-lil-gray-floofball-age. Diet notsobad.
OMG! That cat’z so fat he needz to be on Maury’z show. Too many cheezeburgerz
http://english.people.com.cn/200602/17/eng20060217_243641.html
I’m on ur Tyra Banks dyet
Blowin’ up lyk a bal oon.
olol. haha.
u can’s has cheezburger no mor!!!
HAHAHAHAHA
Chedie,
Mebbe you not noes that Elfinugget has made course for the speakin uv deh kitteh?
Pleses to see sidebar for leenk.
Hugz kitteh or hugz Kate Moss…….???????No debate here!!
oh noez! itz da fat kitteh issue aaallll ova ageen. we shuld geev eentro-duk-sheons to Buddy on teh CO.
no hugz fer Kate – all bonez n white powder; geev me mah pudgy kitteh
Kitteh needz teh Atkins.
hug kate, you’d break her – that looks like kristie alley cat tho. maybe valerie bertinelli cat
stendhalismo: yep, kristie “alley” cat; mebbeh himz kin join jenny craig
Bizkitma — i can has cheezburger letis rap?
Wow someones gotta learn how to feed their cat. Poor kitty.
u iz a bebeh! gits in mah belleh! i wan mah bebeh bak bebeh bak bebeh bak…ribz…
This made me measure my roommates cat.
His waist is two inches bigger. Dear lord.
I’s just kurrrrvy!
“Hay! U wif da tapezmesur — get in mah belly!!!”
hai, i can not haz no more cheezburger? wah
Hahha one of the funnier ones yet!
I can haz dubble chin!
Chedie: Thank you!!!
Here’s a little help with “lolcat” or “kitteh” speak:
“mah newman wuz 16 pownds at is evvyest – but is daddy wuz at leest 25, an teh size uv a bed pallow. We has pikshurz.”
Oh and Stend? Kit-zilla doesn’t look like Kirstie Alley anymore.
I can has a Lifetime Teluhvishun Speshul about mah eeting disordur?
See, put da kitteh on low-karb wet katfuud from da git-goh and nevar hav fat kitteh, evin if u leevz da foodz owt awl dayz. Kittehs is self-monitorashin of teh eetings.
Total animal cruelty, owner should be shot.
http://english.people.com.cn/200602/17/eng20060217_243641.html
Dis esplain the rilly beeg kittah. He needz a traineer, now.
i can has wayet wuacherz?
We no can has cheezburgers cuz dis damm kitteh et dem all!
Kitteh. Srsly. Get to Overeaters Amonamus. You no haz power over cheezburgers.
Beccamutt, pete no want to date kitteh, pete wants to shoot up kitteh. pete shoots up everything.
mummys on the toliet doing poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooozzzzz
kittahmakemeschneeze: fanks for teh link! kittah eets BRED evuryday?? no wonderz.
heather: oh noes! poar kittah fatt an high. sownds leik mah ex-boyfrend! blek.
i can has gastric bypass??
scarletkitty,
q: howe make kitteh less fatz? a: feed not so many foods to kitteh (iz da only wayy)
kitteh not needink so many foods if live inside haus an not doink many activiteez. mai kitteh wuz muy faat b4 an vet sai “1/3 cup uf diat foodz a day” an now kitteh iz not fatz
de ends.
… does kitty look stuck in that position to anyone else, like a turtle? HALP !!!
Stend: Diffrinz betweenz dat kitteh and turtlz: Da turtlz haz a nek an kan flipz selfz ovar. Kitteh haz no nek. Iz too tubbehz.
Dis whut happin when u feedz da karnivorus amminul stuffs dat iz makes wif da pankreeus be aktivashuned. Pankreeuz in karnivorz iz not to be handling konztant graynz, even da “dyit fud” dat iz in bagz by syins-dyit…it ztill nawt dat gud foar kitiz, ztil havesis graynz ins it. Kitiz needs for the fudz wif meet an’ gud-kwalitie prohteenz. not krappy prohteenz lyk korn glootin.
Mah kittehz haz gud zoft shyneezis koats, no flaykie zkinz, not giant zheddingz. We feedz dem da “Wellness” in da kanz. It aspensuv but it werf it bakuz mah kitiz eetz whut dem wuntz az much az dem wunts and dem is 10.2 powndz and 10.4 powndz, and baztin iz hevyer bakuz him big boye kiti but I nunno how much him way. But him not pugy, him zleeks and bootyfulz and happiez.
dry fudz iz only gud for teef-kleenz evry week or zo, az treet.
Diz has bin mah dizartayshin on da kiti dyit. Pliz to be returnz to your stuf wif da normals program.
Dat de onnly ting ah has een commons! I r not skank!
Ok. theriouth side I hope kitteh connot has fatty liver disease! You can has lite foods an one treet a day!
Teh Kitteh needz to compeet in teh worldz biggest lozer.
Kitteh for teh winz!
Elfi–you haz win!
Pet food scare made me reed bout petfood and what kittehz been eatin. Me read, then me sayz PLEH!!! On behaf of my kittehs I hearby sez a rezounding DO NOT WANT!!! an ordered a mess of ground chiken and turkee an rabit an supplemintz for kittehs. Yes i iz crayzeecatperson but my kittees didn’t ask to be borned and them gotz no choice on what to eet, so is up to mee to take care of mi kittehz. Now i iz waiting 4 deliverry an gonna make some good fuud for dem. (An probably they sayz PLEH, but eventally? dey eet.)
ooooh, chubber kittah sooooo much cuterer than kate mosseses!!
BEEFCAAAKKEE!!!!
Jesus. 77 centimeters. That’s over 30 inches.
And Emi – my two year old cats together weigh in at less than half what your cat weighs.
OMG pls someone do a diet, and then LET ALL US KNOW he okay by posting a before/after pic. Hang in there meow-meow kittay!!!
OMG!!!1! i hope kitteh not get teh diabeetus, like domino sed. u can has no moar cheezburgerz, olny vegez. an i hope u not get harblz. they wud be ginormus.
Gladys: To be fair, a lot of those articles were written by other catfood companies – I saw at least one that said that there’s roadkill and whatever in cat food… puh-leez, first, like kittiz don’t eat roadkill anyway, second, like Iams really drives around looking for dead opossum-splats to scrape into the food? Whatever. Animal proteins are FINE, even if it IS a dead skunk. The articles were written like super-scare tactics with the tagline at the end: “So buy OUR catfood instead.” Most of that was bull geared to pull your heartstrings. People hear that kitty food has leftover chikin parts and kow noses and pigbutt in it and go OH EWWWWWW!! but that’s what kittehs EAT, so that’s not the problem.
The problem is the grains.
The point is that kitties shouldn’t have to stress their little pancreases to digest their food. Kitteh diabeetus is the equivalent of human type-2, meaning the kittiz have burned-out pancreas and insulin resistance. The issue with dry food is that it’s made with grains and flours – that’s what keeps it dry and kibbly. Even the “diet” food, which is low-calorie, is like a person eating a smaller serving of pasta. It still requires kitteh’s pancreas to work hard to digest all the food… meanwhile, kitty isn’t getting enough of the good proteins and animal fats that are necessary for kitteh shiny coat and healthy skin. Some dry foods do have plenty of animal fats…. but kitties are a lot like humans – if there’re carbs to be burned first, that’s the easiest source of energy, and kitteh stores the rest. Kittehs need low-carb, because they are carnivores. They were never made to thrive on processed grains.
Now, add the low quality control of the grains to the process, and you get Bad Kitteh Foodz Skare. But honestly… a diet of high-animal-protein and animal-fats plus a LEEEETLE bit of high-protein low-carb veggeh to give kitteh some fiber (sweet potatoes? Pumpkin puree?) is really what’s called for. Some crunchies every week or so as a treat just to get their teeths scraped off… and that’s a happy kitteh.
So yes, FEED KITTEH CHEEZBURGAR. Just, no bun, kay?
OMG shit whats tats!!?? ?!?! a CAT??? Kill the owner!! Freedom for kitten!!!!!
I DID HADST ALL DAH CHEEZBURGER
OMG! …the owner should be locked up for letting their paw puddy get so blimp huge!
kitteh has teh diabeetus
ownerz shud go 2 jailz
Kitty looks so sad… This makes my heart hurt a lot.
Owner is full of lose.
Elfi–yeh, I saw da roadkills story too. Kittehs kill dere OWN rodekill–don need carz to does it for dem.
The whole “your cat is eating other rendered pets” thing–okay, yeah, PLEH and all, but I’d rather have science: like you, I was more moved by the obligate-carnivores aspect–no such thing as a vegetarian kitteh! and then they talk about the quality and regulation (hint–there’s none of either!) and yeah, I’ll be making my own catfud.
Now, if somewun would just essplain to mah Snickacat dat he is not to be a-licking of my breadsammiches…wet bread, PLEH!
I think this is the “Type 2 Diabeetus” cat.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/01/21/type-2-diabeetus/
Your rite Sara, this is the “Type 2 Diabeetus” cat. Both pikshurs are here:
http://english.people.com.cn/200602/17/eng20060217_243641.html
Super-fat kitteh lives in China. Kitteh was featured on CNN last year — had own vidoe. Vidoe showed that owner had to help kitteh climb up on bed!
Owner said super-fat kitteh doesn’t eat that much. Maybe kitteh has endoecrinn problum?
they said it eatz lots of food every day! not cat food, but steaks!
LOLZ gladys – PS good luck w/ ur kittifoodz! I ran out of kitifud one day, kittiz were STARVINGS oh MUMMA, we iz DYINGS heer!! OMG!!
I wuz lyk omg nooo! mah kittiz ztarvz?? onoz!! So I made a tiny bit of couscous (mah kittiz always steelin’ mah couscous), added some butter, two packets of tuna fish… Kitiz are stompins around while I’m warming the foods up, Serenity even has happitail all goin’ on like OMG MUMMAZ FEEDINS US TOONA!! WOO!! DA TOONAZ! It iz luff!!
I added some dry foods I had in the cupboard (a small emergency stash), some low-sodium chicken broth, a tiny bit of heavy cream, just to make it all mooshy… I mean, we’re talkin’ gourmet kittehfuudz here!!
I dished it up room-temp into bowls.
They looked at it, looked at me, and walked off. They sat. They gave me dirty looks.
Serenity huffed at me: “WTF IZ DIZ KRAP? WHAR DA KITI FUD?”
Finally Bastien (who’s kind of shy about eating first) was like FINE, I’ll eat it… whatever… I’m hungry enough. The girls, though, nope. “no, dat okay, we sed we ztarvins, but dat no meenz we eetz DAT. Dat grozz.”
Very much funny.
Maybe there are kittens inside?
The fur around the teets looks like she’s been pulling it out, getting ready for nursing.
I no its wrong but this cap just mayk me laff n laff. den i come bak n looks at it aggen and i still laff n laff. prolly funnest lolcat i seen so fars. i’s to be sharin dese laffs wid mi frenz. thx
bagel o everything: maybe there are kittens inside…didn’t think o dat.
(az beeeeeg as dis kitteh iz, tho…mebbe HUNDERDS of kittenz.)
Elfi–but i bet them girlycatz stoled yr couscous next time, dint they.
knoe a good trix to getz kittehs to eet what dem dont wanna eet? fix dem a plate of whateveritiz–an put it on da counter (or da table, or whereverelse kitz knoez dey shouldn’t go.) dem kittehz hop up an start snorfulating dat fuud so fast yr brainz will zpin.
heee. this exact post was on a commercial for my local news.
OOOOOOOOOOF.
Watch out, Chubbycat.
fat kitteh is fat positive. yay, kitteh.
[...] …I EATED THE CAT WITH THE 23″ WEIGHST. [...]
Da camerah adz 10 pounz….I dun ated fur camerahz
This iz te bestest pictja evaaa!!!!!!
dont tell me to lose weight! i’m already on nutrisystem, i go to wight watchers… i do everything that is supposed to lose weight
ONE OF THE BEST!!! And this kat does it without sucking stuff up her noz. Should be voted America’s Next Top Cat Model. Would be great endorsing ~ Kater Sizing Equipment or 24 Hrz Gym. You Go Girl! !
are people stupid or something……………pure cat !!!!! she or he cant even walk with that quantity of fat!!!
hey big guy, y’think you’l make it in the super-modeling indusrty some day? :p
Amurkinz so judjmintl must be roood abowt kitteh. We had 2 kitteh, saym litr.
Jin wuz itzy, tinies, like bebeh kitteh all life. Dr. sez ‘is way her bodi iz, nuffin to do change her, just feed good and help wif warm.’ She eatz liek leetl fuzzy pig.
Jin’s bruvver, Chris, iz BEEEEEG kitteh. (Call him crisco, cuz is fatt inna can.) He ‘normous kitteh, alwais to sleep on top of an roun’ Jin. Keep seester warmz! Dr. sai “AAIIEE!! FATCAT!! Bad, kitteh eat much, kitted DIE, DIE!! No feed kitteh much! BAD BAD!” Tell Dr, no, him eatz wif Jin. Him waitz til her thru, then do not eatz all, saves fur if she gitz hunry. He iz eat norml or less fa kitteh.
Jin haz mad smelleh kittehspit, no can bath self gud, Chris bathz seester, groomz seester, teks care seester. Alwaiz.
When Jin git sik, and goez to kitteh heavn, wif meneh sunbeemz alwais—Chris no change what eatz, but lose all kittehfatz. Goes fum be big fuzzy football wif tiny feets n eartipz to be reg’lar kitteh, but wif much ‘hangdownz’ bellehskin. Dr sez “Finly put FatzBoi on diet?”
I tellz Dr, can kizz our fuzzy and chunky buttz, we find doctor wif branez (no zombehz) that realizez if metabolz can mehk one kitteh skinneh boenz, metaboliz can maek other kitteh fatz. Starveh not anzer. (For kitted or for hoominz.)
Need good kitteh endocrinologist!
kitteh sez “I nawt fat I juhst beeg boneded!”
But seereeuslie taht poor kitteh in needs ov help.
that’s sad that some one let the cat get that overweight… that cat is probally going to die soon if it didn’t already
[...] i fink kate moss haz put on sum wayt. [...]
THAT IS SO FUNNY HAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My cats have maintained their weight for years. One’s slim and active, and one’s a little less active and a little chubby but has been that way since she was young.
It’s probably because we just feed them dry catfood, and rarely give them treats or other food.
Most diabetic cats are pear-shaped. This kitteh is not pear-shaped, just fat all-over! My kitteh went through a fat phase, then we got him a female companion and he slimmed down for her… ate fewer moths, switched to low-calorie crickets I guess. I bet this fatcat is just chubby but not sick.
Yoo pud me on teh interwebz an iz sitink on ur fayz wen ur azleepe.
Seriously?! MY waist is 23 inches!
You inspired me to go measure my friend’s cat, and, yeah, it’s 25 inches! This is madness!!!
Oh, and its twenty nine pounds too. And he claims that it only eats a small bowl of cat food a day, and that it’s not HIS fault that the cat just sits around all day and never gets any exercize!
Wow, way to be a responsible owner.
i’s haves a big fat kitteh too!!
awwww. at least he’s an optimist.
FATASS!!!!!