UPDATE:
>> LOLspeak has become a cultural phenomenon! Visit and contribute to the LOLspeak wiki.
ORIGINAL:
Thanks to Elfinugget for her submission 
Step one: Think of something to say. This is tricky for some people. 
We’ll try a simple, common comment to start:
“That’s a really cute cat. And look, he has a bow on his head!”
Step two: “Engrish” it.
1) Mis-decline verbs, especially misuse the verb “to be”
2) Misuse gerunds
3) Overuse prepositional phrases
4) Blatant rearrangement of syntax
5) Incorrect plurals and past-tense verbs
6) “noun” your adjectives. (For instance, the adjective “blue” can become the noun “blueness”)
7) Improper pronouns
8 ) Drop the articles (“a”, “and”, “the”) in favor of adding “-age” to the end of a noun
9) Use “younger” words (“kitty” versus “cat”, “fuzzy” versus “furry”, etc.)
10) Use the word “with” inappropriately.
11) If you really can’t wrap your head around the concepts behind “Engrish”, try this: Go to babelfish.altavista.com, type your desired comment in, hit “english-to-Japanese”, then re-translate back to English. You have to be able to view special characters (the kanji). If you can’t get that to work, try translating to a different, european-text language, like German.
So, we get:
“That being the kitty very full of cuteness. And to be with looking! Him gots bowage on hims head!”
Step three: Misspell everything. There’s no wrong way to do this, just try not to accidentally correctly spell a completely different word (especially one that’s pronounced differently than your spelling intends). Some words (usually short words) should simply remain spelled correctly for continuity’s sake.
1) Think like a little kid / cat / dog / goldfish, and get hukd on foniks
2) I cannot stress this enough: Vowels are your friends! Do not neglect vowels!! We’re speaking LolKitteh here, not text messaging! (My advice: use alternate vowels, Y’s are particularly handy, but don’t overuse them.)
3) Extra W’s and H’s (“awl” instead of “all”)
4) Z’s instead of S’s are easy
5) Double-letters versus single letters are always fun
6) Don’t be afraid to further pluralize things, including your verbs
7) Remember that the word “THE” must always be spelled “TEH”
now, we have:
“Dat beesing teh kiti vary ful ov kutenis. An to bees lukingz! Hims gotz bowwagez on hims hed!!”
Step four: Add exclamations and extra words.
1) Use commonly accepted internet abbreviations. Misspell them if necessary. (LOL = lawlz! ROTFL = rofflz! OMG = omgwtfbbq!?! … etc … )
2) Imagine that you’re actually in a crowd of people and you want everyone to look at this particular picture. Extra exclamations are thus necessary.
3) Think Valley Girl. The words “like,” “totally,” etc can be added. Remember to misspell!
4) Some common statements have been severely abbreviated into one single multi-syllabic word. These are good to use. The best example is “Okay, thank you, good-bye!” Which has been shortened to “kthxbye” (or “kthxbai”)
And, we have:
“OMG wau!! Dat beesing a kiti vary ful ov tewtul kutenis!! Bees wif da lukingz! Omg him gotz da bowwagez on himz hed lyk WTF?!?”
Step five: Add additional information. This can be the desire to interact with the subject of the photo, personal information, empathetic or sympathetic statements, responses to other posts, etc. Again, nothing right or wrong here, just whatever comes to mind.
Finally:
“OMG wau!! Dat beesings a kiti vary ful ov tewtul kutenis!! Bees wif da lukingz!! Omg him gotz da bowwagez on himz hed lyk WTF?!? OMG I tewtul wuntz to grabz dat kiti and fuzziez himz awl ovar … him sooooooo mooshy an fullz ov win!! Don werry lil kiti, I no eetz u! I luvz kitiz! I can has bunchiz ov dem! Mah kitiz luvz bowwagez too! YETH!! GIMME!! Kthxbai!”
Remember that all of the above steps are basic guidelines for conversational lol-cat. Some regions do not always rearrange syntax. This a treasure for you. With some practice, you too can be writing (and speaking) in Conversational LolKitteh!
(this class is copyright ELFN 2007, all rights reserved, pliz to be kreditz if u be usingz da verbatumz kthxbai.)
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Elfi iz full of win! (alzo, headbowage!)
+++ many cheezeburgers!
I lurvz you, Elfkittehspeakin’ purrson.
whille this is DEFINITELY one of the more amusing “tutorials” found on the net, i think i might kill myself if everyone on this site followed your directions faithfully.
in other news:
i be heartsing lolcats! demz so kewt en fuzzy wif omgwtfbbq funnee wurdz on dem!!1!! i wantz to totawy eetz em awl up! kthxbai!
hai
ilukthxbai
Y it is kan be so hardz? S’notz. Thx fur awl ur heppz widteh speeekngz tooturrealz, kitteh speechz purrson!
The scary thing is, after doing for a day or two, you start to think in lolkitteh.
Just saying.
kthxbai
A day or tow? is to be trying a hour and be thinking lolcatese. meyowzzz!
Dis iz beeyin a ossumeness tootoriel!!!1 OMG, I wood goh tortilly isane iv evuryone wur 2 b speekageing like dat!!!!1!!
Qbert: I actually don’t always rearrange my context (this a treasure for you!)
It’s all good. My biggest pet peeve, if one can exist, about written conversational lol-kitteh, is that some people just omit all vowels, which is an utter chore to read. It really should be phonetically easy to read.
And yeah, I think in lol-cat; in fact, while on vacation (and while CheezServer was meltored), Hogarf (my husband) and I were in such withdrawal that we were speaking lolcat to each other.
ME: “I can taykz piktor ov yu?”
HIM: “kay do you haz da kamra?”
ME: “no u haz kamra. I can haz kamra?”
HIM: “NOOO! yu be steelinz mah kamra!!!!”
ME: “wtfbbq I juz wunt tayk piktor. Needz kamra.”
HIM: “fyne, heer.”
ME: “Kthxbai.”
(translated into human) woah. i think in lolcat alot, often say something and map it out in my head as lolspeak, and sometimes i even talk in it “i are hungry. i can has breakfast?”
i am learing lolspeak quickly for someone who only found out about it like 3 months ago.
wow.
heh.
(tranletied 2 lolkitteh1!!!1) liek omg wau! i can has lolthoughts?!?!? i can say in 2 wayz nau wft? i speekz in it also liek I R HUNGRI I CAN HAS BREEKFIST?!?1/
draginkitteh is lolskolar!1!
omgwtfbbq?
lulz
[...] April 24th, 2007 · No Comments I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? [...]
Thanx 2 b halpin mee speek lolcat betterz!
InfamousQBert is speaking truth to power up there.
I know, I know: I’m the cranky old pain in the neck in the bunch. But here’s my two ancient, gnarled cents’ worth:
The lolspeak kitteh meme tags on the adorakittehs are what makes us laugh until milk comes out our noses on ichc. Like all funny stuff, they’re funny partly because they’re unexpected.
But when every single word of every single sentence is hyper-lolspoken, it gets to be like hearing a really good song so many times you start to hate it, or when a once-hilarious comedy bit gets beaten to death (anyone besides me old enough to remember when everyone said “psych” so much, it ruined Eddie Murphy?).
It’s funnier when it’s judiciously deployed, and when it’s clever rather than gratiutous.
“I has a flavor” is funneh. “A flavor: I has it” still makes me laugh out loud every time. And “Excuse me, do you has a flavor?” is a brilliant variation on the theme. But stuff like “pleez 2 B tellingz ees dere flavr hazness of u?” just makes me — yes, Artist Formerly Known As Elfnow, you called it — roll my superannuated eyes.
Do not want!
Yours in well-meaning, crotchety goodwill (I has a issue),
L (kthxbai!)
Thiz iz a wizdom! You very smart old brain!
I has a issue too. Us KSL (Kitteh Second Language) peeplz haz trouble if lolcat talk too complicated. I skips some posts when no read easy. Plz kitteh frenz, use lolcat careful for poor KSL peeplz.
Kthxbai
is teh true. is not for lol when lolspaek is teh abused. use sparingly! is just like sugar. kthxbai! ^_^
but who is to teh using sugar sparingly? *hyperrrrrrrrr* Sugar if for teh guzzling
dis coment, duz it has a flavr?
(lulz)
I AGREE!!
Elfnugget you iz good. ii gonna mak shure i spell eveyfing fuxed. I lubs you an dis here site. YAY FOR CHEEZBUGGAH! YAY FOE TOFUSBUGGAH!
I agree with only adding one or two perfectly incorrect grammaticlalations.
see what I did there? LOL
kthx elfinugget to lernz lolcats for me.
is much bettur, noes?
Ones problem Iz finded with LOLKITTEH speak: When Iz at workz, peeples lookz at me funneh when Iz says “I R smart cat” and suches. Parently, wholez wurld knot speak teh lolkitteh.
Ifn I learns gud, I can has LkD? (LOL-Kitteh Doktorate)
lezzismoar: Is okay. I unnerstans.
U no hav to be of the speakings.
lolcatz iz lyk esperanto.
–E
Lessizmoar–I agreez with you. I was just trying to follow teh tutorial. But from now on, I will use kitteh speak juicedituously. thx.
zomgwtf plz to no bi forgetingz insershunz ov memez!! As elfnugget an Hogarf waz tu dymonstrat whyn talkeen abut kamraz!!!
Zomg! Teh tutorial maeks mah eyes bleed! No moar lolcatpseek!!1one
OMGWTFBBQBACON! This are da halpfulz!
We nede moar intarwebz tew lern kittanz!
YEAZ!!! Lolkittehspeek lessunz r be fulled awl two teh brym wif WIN ‘nd AWESUM! awesum plus foar! Mak me qwite happeh to haf a handie gydebook if’n i shood evar luze mah ways
OMFG TY!!!1
/hug
[...] how to make me want to leap through my monitor to kill you with ICanHasCheezBurger’s handy five-step tutorial to transform English into LOL-Kitteh (using Engrish and l33t as guides). Powered by Gregarious [...]
thanx 2 dis site, I hases problems wif the speakings! i no can make sentences rightness! it suxxors. i tewtally are thinkings in lawlcatz!
A winnar is YOU, elfinugget!
Iz a joke. Not to beez taken litterly.
kthxbai
Coolbeans, Elfi…..yu do dis alla ina day???? Yu won smart kookie
bizkitmama: “The scary thing is, after doing for a day or two, you start to think in lolkitteh.”
The REALLY scary thing is when you start actually talking in lolcat. An example:
My husband and I are getting coffee at a local coffee place. I’m searching in vain for the lids when he hands me my cup with a lid already on it. My response? “Oh! You gots me a drink hat? YAY! Teh awsums!”
Is troo–hubby & i liek smoo smoo smoo. Kidz go pleh.
hehehehe
[...] LOL-Kitteh As A Second Language (In Five Easy Steps) April 25, 2007 at 5:07 pm | In Humor | Dat beesings a kiti vary ful ov tewtul kutenis!! [...]
The problem with this is that the slang found in the original cat macros is hacker slang, or “l33t” (Google it). It developed into a mix of “l33t” and “engrish.” Neither of these was intentionally created to achieve a cutesy effect, so when paired with a cute cat pic, you actually get something cute. But when you TRY too hard to be cutesy with the constant misspellings and made up words, it becomes cloying (Google that too).
1337 is not hacker slang. It’s cracker slang. Hackers only use that sarcastically. The only people who really use 1337 are noobs who think they are hackers just because they can break into computer systems that they shouldn’t be able to access. That just makes them crackers. Hackers are those who write computer programs for the fun of it, rather than just stitching together other people’s code with simple scripts in order to mess up other people’s computers. Crackers call themselves hackers even when they don’t deserve the title. There are hackers who are also crackers, but there are many crackers who think they’re hackers when they can’t write any programs beyond simple scripting to break other people’s things.
Hackers make things, crackers break things.
Excellent. Very well explained.
Bad Rd.. assumption that one needs to google the word “cloying” or the word (if it can properly be called a word) l33t or more correctly (lol) l337
One person knowing both cloying and l33t/l337 might seen rare, but really isn’t… all it takes is an education or a person who enjoys reading, and some awareness of pop culture.
Google it
Saintpikachu: I can has grande brevi mocha, pleez? thx.
RD: I always thought lolkitteh speak was the result of cat-like typing. And I think you mean clawing, not cloying.
Clawing: To cause distaste or disgust by supplying with too much of something originally pleasant, especially as it relates to cutez kitteh pixez, k? thx.bai.
Elfnugget: I has kompleet worships of u. U r incredibilliness!! So much awsum in one playss fur meh to refferanss whinevers needing.
An to b thinking I’s new u bak whin u was Elfnow.
(Hoep ur surgery wint wel)
Yeah, the surgery went very well, thanks. Doc decided to do a little septoplasty while he was in doin’ the bilateral endoscopic ethmoidectomy and bilateral maxillary endoscopic roto-rooting or whatever they called it. (I is not dumb, I just wuz real druggaged.)
Oh for pete’s sake you all…
it’s a JOKE. this isn’t like…. a requirement for posting here. Get over it. It’s funny.
–E
CrazyOldLady: Actually… once I set my brain to working on it, it took about an hour, plus minor tweaks. It’s really not that different from speaking, say, German. The steps are only barely different: “Decide what you want to say, figure out the syntax, translate the words, add regionalisms, add personal touches.”
[...] I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? LOL-Kitteh as a Second Language (LKSL-101) in Five Easy Steps « Tutorial for making your own lolcats catpions (tags: lolcats funny) [...]
Advanced LOL-Kitteh as a Third Language (LKAdv-401)
en Frankay:
Say oon shatt traay jolly. Ay walla: eel a oon cordon soore son tette!
My brain hurtz.
The Grammar Policeman in me wants to break out teh trunchonz butz ZOMG WTFBBQLOLZ eys haz bin infectedz…
Halp me!
No, darn it! You can’t try to explain something funny — it knocks the funny out of it!
OMG DIS ARE TEH BESTEST POST OF KITTEH SPEEK EVAR!!
Me is fowndz dis fery funnies an intrustings!!! fery gud instrokshuns!!! I is being praktis longwage mor. yis, meez luves da kitins tu.
This is so funny.
I’m not a native speaker, so kitteh speak is really too hard for me to do, but I enjoy reading it! 
I iz form Germ-any (plz spare me, I iz way too young to have started WW2 ;D )
I went to my cousin’s house today – they got new puppy, a teeny Scottie puppy that I could probly have put in my pocket. My first reaction to seeing it? I picked it up and put it on my head and said “I HAS A HAT.”
fankoo ICHC, u haf roond mah mynd… or mayd it fyfteh tymz bettah!
what is kthnkxbai
is that OK thanks bye?
(I am trying to learn LOL cat speak)
yvi: I wish to learn German at some point.
I did well enough in it when I took it in college (a zillion years ago) that I was able to think in it and even DREAM in it; I think that’s a sign of being really ready to launch into the language. My husband, “Hogarf”, bought me a Conversational German CD set for Christmas, and of course I haven’t opened it but I really do THINK about it a lot. 
I keep telling Hogarf that we should both speak another language fluently in the household, so we can enrich our children with it as they grow up. Obviously I haven’t got any kids yet, only cats, so my current second language is Lol-Kitteh. (I was speaking it fluently before it was making its grand entrance onto the internet… mostly because it’s really how kittehs in the household think.)
And WW2 is NOT the first thing that comes to my mind about Germany, so you get no static from me on that topic. There’s an entire channel called the Military channel… my mother calls it “the Hitler Channel” because it’s always showing the same WW2 informational stuff over and over… And of course it’s all her boyfriend will watch.
Worry not. My advice, if you desire to speek Kitteh, is to just type English words using German sentence structure.
Don’t worry about misspelling, although if you throw in some “OMGWTFBBQ!!” into the mix, it wouldn’t hurt. 
Theresa: Actually that’s defined above. You are correct. “Okay, thank you, good-bye!” (which would be so appropriate in polite daily interactions with other people) has been shortened to “Kthxbai”, and is used when lol-minals are caught doing their swiping thing. “I can has this cheezburger kuz I is gud kiti? I just takes it, kthxbai.” It’s also still used in its original context, only shortened significantly.
There is another version, “kluvyabibi” which was made popular by the character “Mindy” on Animaniacs, a Warner Brothers cartoon of vast superiority to the stuff out there today. (Except Avatar. Avatar roxx) … Mindy was a cartoon three-year-old, always getting into mischief, and her dog was supposed to keep her in line. The cartoon was based on the mother leaving the dog in charge for an hour or so, and having NO IDEA how bad Mindy was… and how incredibly valiant the dog was in just plain keeping the kid ALIVE… only to be scolded when they were safely back in the yard and mother gets home… “you let her outfit get dirty!! BAD DOG!!” Mindy’s line was “okay ah luvya buhbye!!” which she said to nearly everyone.
Animaniacs rocked. 
And Hysteria, its successor, also rocked.
Bear: Thank you for the KOL reference.
I needed that. (Sorry I didn’t say that earler… but I was just reading thru the comments again and caught it.) 
–E
Meredith: Here, it’s actually the explanation itself that is funny.
Or at least, I thought so. And my husband about died laughing when he read it, which is kind of rare. 
It’s not so much an explanation of where Lol-speek came from or anything like that… Honestly, it’s a commentary of the elements that go into it.
Have you ever read the article by Mark Twain, who suggests how to “fix” the English language so it’s more understandable and legible? By the time he’s done making the changes, it’s nigh impossible to read. It’s taking a process that makes basic sense, and applying it, and coming out with something that, in this case, is both illegible and funny-because-it’s-sooo-true.
Oh, woops, I just explained the joke to you…. which rendered my entire post un-funny.
Ohwell.
elf now is not loggered in as elfnugget lolz.
LAWLZ DIZ TUTORILAGE WUZ ZEH PLAYN AWEZUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIEK I LUV TEH FUNNAH!!1 THE HAD MI TO LAF ZEH HOLE TAIM WHIL I READS THE LYK OMGZ YAY!!1! U GUD!! I R TEH HUNGRAY. LIEK WER I CAN GETZ MOAR LIEK DIZ?!?!
How did I do?
DrLaunch: not two shabbeh a’tall!
Elfnow/elfinugget:
1) I find it a bit perplexing and also quite interesting that although you evolved from Elfnow into elfinugget, you still posess the capability to switch back into Elfnow, which I would’ve thought previously impossible seeing as how Elfnow could be considered your “larval” stage… what a miracle of lolscience!
2)Pinky and the Brain is also most definately WIN
Not too bad, Dr. Launch, but watch that all-caps stuff. Use extra exclamation points for emphasis rather than all-caps. Caps should be reserved for sentence beginnings, proper nouns, and acronyms (like OMG or WTF).
–E
IGLOO! I was too lazy to log in through WordPress.
In my world, it is 4:00 AntiMeridian, I slept from 11:00 Postmeridian until 1:30, despite the fact that I took an ungodly amount of sedative, sleep-inducing, and pain-relieving drugs. I iz still up. And I’m tired like HELL but I can’t sleep.
I downloaded a study guide for the CLEP test I have to take (the guide was $10, I think that’s worth it)… just to look at the exam to see what it is I’m going to be doing…
Honestly, I’m this close to taking the exam cold on Monday but …. well, it’s probably still prudent to at least figure out what kind of questions they ask. You know, if I’m spending $60 on it.
The Elfnow screen name stays auto-filled on the site, but I have to traverse multiple sites to be Elfinugget… and I’z lazy right now.
–E
kayz, u happi nowe?
[...] LOL-Kitteh as a Second Language (LKSL-101) in Five Easy Steps Jump to Comments Courtesy of icanhascheezburger.com [...]
yehps musch bettar
More than you needed to know:
My initials, with my maiden name, are ELF. In college I was ELF, Elfling, or ‘Fling.
I got married and gained a last name starting with N… So I kind of thought of myself as ELFN, although my legal on-my-social-security-card initials are E.L.N.
At some point, we got into watching Histeria! (by Warner Brothers), which had a character called LuckyBob. He would say “YETHNOW!” in a dopey voice. This managed to be translated to a household name “ELFNOW!” and thus, that nickname came into being.
Somehow (if I recall, through a show called Brilliant! which was on Comedy Central sometimes) we started using “Elf-ih-Nayshun!!” When HomestarRunner came out, I would say “Elfination! It’s DOT COMMM!”
For my birthday that year, Hogarf bought me the website that is now my blog. (www.elfination.com) It was probably the most clever birthday present I’ve ever received.
And now my name has just been shortened back to Elfi or Elf… but I am still Elfnow…
And Mr. Cheezburger suggested that I choose a name with the term “Nugget” in it, so that I might be an honorary member of ICHC. So I became ElfiNugget.
But my name’s actually Emily. I just so rarely use it.
[...] LOL-Kitteh as a Second Language (LKSL-101) in Five Easy Steps [...]
[...] Cheezburger for the inspiration. This is my stripped back version. Theirs has a lot more steps to LOL-Kitteh it. If that makes any [...]
[...] I really wanted to find a way to link to this post, one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long long time, but I just couldn’t find a [...]
/engrish off for a minute
Just so you know, “Can I have a cheeseburger?” translated to and from Japanese on Babelfish coemes out as
“I may eat the cheese bar moth -?”
So…just a bit of food for thought. Or cheezburger foar branez.
ZOMG!!1!1!!! Kittehspeak iz teh kewlest! More funner den l33t!
OMG!!! Ei luvs elfinuggetz 4 dis!!!1!!
oh my gosh, this hurts my head.
or should i say… muh gushins theese be me hed hurt?
yeah, no. i don’t think im cut out for talking like that
OH NOES!!! WE BE KILLINGS TEH ENGILSH! so bads is us.
or nots.
I has had sum probs wit dis becuz I finds myselfs doin my thinkin in
KSL. And it sumtymes evin comes owt uv my mowf. I is prolly too
old for dat! ( ;
Elfnow/inugget:
“It’s not so much an explanation of where Lol-speek came from or anything like that… Honestly, it’s a commentary of the elements that go into it.”
a discussion of just that
“Have you ever read the article by Mark Twain, who suggests how to “fix” the English language so it’s more understandable and legible?”
Mark Twain LOVED this book. It’s a Portugese to English phrase book written by 2 men who didn’t know any English, but had a Port-to-French dictionary and a French-to-English dictionary. HI-larious.
Teho: WHOO!! guud fingz I sed “DIS IS LOL-KITTEH NOT TEX MESAJIZ!” I no wuntz to dastroie da inglizh by tex-mesajizings amung 15-yr-oldz.
IQB: I actually wrote this on the spur of the moment, and didn’t realize that the “Cats can has grammar” post was out there… I swears I not copys the concept. I was really just responding to about four requests for me to develop a course.
I’m thinking of ordering that book. It’s awesome.
–E
Is we dere yets?
I can has cheezburga on wayz?
So vewy humry.
LOL-Kitteh is all ovar my headz.
I’m used to thinking half the time in English and the other half in German (my native language). While this is sometimes fun, sometimes annoying (having to translate back to German when having to communicate with fellow Germans) its still not a problem.
Now with LOL-Kitteh, its kinda different. Its funny, but I cant possibly translate it to German. ;D
I was bugging a friend of mine with lolcat pic links in ICQ, which ended in him writing to me “no more lolcats plz, kthxbye”. But then yesterday.. He came into my room, saying “I can has handtuch?” (handtuch being the german word for -towel-” and I really didnt get it. At first it was just some random mumbling in my head. The fact, that he left the room again the instant he had said that, didnt really help either…
When I finally got it, I was really surprised, that he was using lol-kitteh and also mixing languages!
H E L P!! lol
@Elfnow/elfinuggets
Thanks for the advice on trying to use german sentence structure with some random intarwebs abbrev. I will try that as soon as I got ovar ” I can has handtuch?” ;D
I has a cold, I wantz to like to home go and lyez me down in my bedz! Its kitteh-germish. O.o omg!
yvi: I dreamed one time that I was in german class and my teacher had an array of common items on the table in the front of the room. She asked me, “Emily, where is the stapler?”
And I replied, “Auf dem Tisch.”
She said, “What? WHERE is the STAPLER?”
I was confused… it was right there on the table… And I responded again “AUF DEM TISCH!”
She said “NEVER MIND!”
I was so confused… Until I woke up and my mom said, “I still can’t find the stapler but I guess you were asleep because I couldn’t understand a word you were saying.”
Then it became clear and I said, “it’s on the table.”
LOL
elfinugget: lol, that IS funny!
ive never had weird dreamz like that although i’m pretty much bilingual. hehe 
just one time, when i came back from a longer US stay, i always wanted to answer in English. but that went away after a few days.
LOL the only time my German was really helpful… I was travelling with my sister to California, and we were in the courtesy shuttle to the hotel from the airport. The driver had efficiently stowed all our luggage for us, for which we determined we needed to tip, but I had no idea how much was appropriate. And of course, was too shy to ask the driver himself.
Two other people in the van were speaking German to each other – I didn’t really understand what they were saying but I could at least pick out the language.
I asked them, very shyly, how much they were giving the driver as a tip. I think “trinkgeld” isn’t commonly used any more, but they finally figured out that I just was too young to know how much to tip and too shy to ask. 
They suggested a dollar a bag, which was a nice round $5, which worked out fine. 
Oh, I do occasionally mispronounce people’s names in English, though. If someone’s name is spelled “Straub” I will often just automatically pronounce it “Strauss”. My friends in my college German class had the worst time with the “esseh” character (I don’t know the HTML code to create it here)… but the fact that it looks like a capital B just drove them crazy. And drove our teacher crazy. I made it a point to never mispronounce “b” instead of “ss”.
Lol
forgotten how much fun multi-babelization was…
Actually is the adhesive good cat. And, he with the beginning glance has owned the bow which takes the lead!
HEER IZ MOAR.
mah schmoop spotid dis.
Thx for grate tute. I has bin reading lolcats ebryday for 5 dayz sinz i founded it. i is gettin vair addictimicated to dis site.i keeps lookin at it. an now i’s talkin to my bebbe in lolcats he is only likkle bebbe, he cants talk yet so he be finking lolcats is normals. i finks i has problems wiv lolcat obsnession. halp.
I tried that and this is what I got: OMG!!! Taht hedd, taht bowz is luvly rarver in vis kitteh, it is!!! lykwtf so kyut! I wan’ grabb him n skweeze him n cal him jorje!! WAU! tkhxbai!
Too. Scary. For. Words.
Also, I now keep talking in lolkitteh and my friends all think I’m insane :]
(mainly because I am)
[...] LOL-Kitteh as a Second Language (LKSL-101) in Five Easy Steps [...]
[...] have been made about the subject, there are spelling and grammar rules for writing the captions and websites like Twitter are even joining the fad by using [...]
[...] Link May 03rd 2007 Posted to Funny, Culture, Internet [...]
[...] “Mike, you HAVE to do an I Can Has Cheezburger? image,” but while I can read and parody LOLKitteh, I’m far from being a native or even adequate [...]
[...] are many examples of the genre (also known as kitteh) all over the web, but see this this explanation if you are still puzzled. Filed under: images, [...]
[...] now, the rules are fairly simple. Here are some, as laid out in this ICHC post: Misuse gerunds Overuse prepositional phrases Blatant rearrangement of syntax Misspell everything. [...]
[...] of said meme/macro/fad/"kitty pidgin" available here, here, here, here, here and here, if you're interested). However, I simply must point out the following [...]
taking way too far, beyond the realms of comical
dude, what’s your problem with me?
Yes, what is your problem with her? We all think it’s comical. If YOU don’t, take your leave, without making a comment… (yes it’s a free society, but when on a website dedicated to X, and you don’t like X, why bother being there in the first place to make comments?)
As Elfinugget would say… kthxbai
I Iz a Auzzie English teecha and lets me tellz ya, afta readingz sum ov mai std’s werkz, lolkittah is t3h EZI! I iz also a Japaneez teecha so Engrish iz teh awsum! Andz wutz moar, I getz Engrish cuz itz teh linguistix funz! Lolkittah iz teh funz langwidj! Thx 4 teh teechingz of me of lolkittah!! Kthxbaiz
ZOMFGZ Tis whil be a giude of with 1337 hendynez of until getten is I teh heng of wif it!!!! Me be totalli ohf thxfulnezzag!!!!!!!!!!!!! kthxbai.
… KK yeah tis isnt teh bast jub evah but OMG I’s tring riht?!?!?
[...] fun stuff: Cat Macro Grammar: (LKSL-101, Anil Dash). I used fd’s flickr toys to generate the macro, but you can also use LolCat [...]
Oh noes! Fall semester nightmare:
Plz to no rite lolspeak in English class. Kthxbye.
OMF stilz gots tranzlaytsh friggin FTW but dats frihggin ekslunt. i luuurve “get hukd on foniks”. elfinugget iz uberzenkitteh, shud tranzlayt skripshrz ov all wurld relijunz. mayk GodzCanHazCheezburger.
Ok dis wun tym, der wuz teh beginningz… an den da Big Voyce lyk iz on da wethur raydio set, LYTE!! an den I wuz awl lyk *BLINKBLINK* why u do dat I wuz seepin?? An den da darknizz wus seprat frum da lyte, but dazokay, kuz it awl minez ennywhay.
lol elfi, u rawk!
ZOMG – toatlee!!
Or you can use my site to translate English into lolcat! http://speaklolcat.com
I went to babelfish and after translating it back and forth to Japanese from English for the sixth time, I got this from the beginning line:
There is a cat whose actually adhesion power is good. And, he of glance of beginning owned the bow which takes the lead!
Then, when I changed it all the other ways, I got this:
Dat kitteh bes purty kutifully! Ans he gots somez evn purtyfulr bowagez on him hedz. OMG! Dat da kutifulist kitteh evrs!!1!
I also did this one on my own. It went from:
Hello! What are you doing?
To:
Hai! Wut u b doings?
To:
Hai! Wut u b duingz?
To:
OMG! Hai. Wutz u b duingz?
NICE WORK, Sarah!!! LOL U yeth haz teh win!
i no remember teh link to tranzlater
send again,k?
iz haz kweschun pls. Wut du u meen by FTW? i reeds “f**k teh werld” butt iz noez u not meens dat. kthxbai.
i uzyalleh reedz it as “for teh win” bcuz datz wut wikipedia say it meenz, an wikipedia no lie. NEVAR. apairentleh, der iz alsoa FTL (for teh lose) but iv nebur seed it uzed bfoar.
mwahah!
I didn’t know it, but I was talking to my kitty in this waaay beforwe I found out about cat macros..anyone else speak to their cat in a weirdly high and scary voice??
OMG! I iz speking LOLcat in my Haid! Halp!!
i iz speekin lolcat 2 ovvur pplz! duble HALP! dey nawt unnerstanz meh no moarz! i has losted mah abyliteh 2 speekz inglyshh! oh noes!!1!
OMGWTFBBQKITTEHS! dis r teh much awsums! it t to be halping alll dem ickle baby cheezburgers! noaw dey can b with teh awsum lolcatrs! poke teh baby lolkittehs lulz.
LOL-Kitteh
o hai … OMGZ i remembrd dat addin teh wordz dat it r fonetikuly eezi to reed! dat wud b teh much awsums!
plskthxbai
English:
I just remembered that you should add that it should always be phonetically easy to read.
Please Okay Thanks Bye.
ps. dat lst bit maided me laffz so muchez that i wuz liek rofflkoptrz! it maded me goez all fuzzeh heh.
lol you for got the fail and the winz and teh and uter common mispeld typo typez.
teh = the
ftw = wtf
fail = you suck
win = you rule
and such
Doeseses Insesent bababbling Countses?
meh wuvs lolspeeks
Thingz is teh funneh when rly troo. Peoples think is for the fail becuz lolcats no rly talk so complekated. (They has an issue.) So peoples say “noez” to tootorial. Den elfinugget has a sadness becuz tootorial takes effort and peoples say “noez” to it. I has an issue, but I say “yayz for elfinugget” even if is not for the win, becuz effort cat is effort.
[...] e addirittura la traduzione della bibbia. Non mancano i traduttori automatici, analisi ed esempi di questo [...]
Jus remember kitteh frenz, ur wurds must be easy to reads. I hav trubble reading some kittehs posts becoz they use teh complicated wurdz. It makes my hed hurt. I hav had to skip posts becoz they r so much kittehspeak itz no longer kittehspeak.
Do want:
“I luvs this kitteh. He iz so coote.”
Do not want:
“Ey lufvz diz kiyteh. Hee iz zoe cyoute.”
It makez our kitteh heds spin round if u do this.
Imagine teh Do want speak iz a big cheezburger. Teh do not want iz ur neighborz new fugly outfit. U r wearing the outfit. U want teh cheezburger. U say, “Ize canne hase cheeszbergur?” and O NOE! No one will give u teh cheezburger. U say, “I can has cheezburger?” and OMG! U gots the cheezburger!
I speek kitteh fer yers…jus my kine of kitteh speek…no care bout rools. Jus do wat feels rite.
Me wont reed crazy speek, jus pay no tenshun to dem folks. Too hard.. heer to play..not werk hard to reed.
Dis is teh win. Usually, I iz spelling/grammar Nazi, but dis site, it let me speekz funneh an not feel too dum! U has kno ideaz how fun dis iz.
By secund paragwaph, I dunno what kitteh meenz (lulz!). I gedd hedake if all iz talkin’ liyke dat!
Kthxbai!!1
omgimscurrdlolz!!!1
OMGZ tutooreal FTW an so iz elfinugget too! Eva since I readz dis I bin speekin lolkitteh an makin evryone fink I’m insane… I jus say ‘iz elfnuggets fault, kthxbai’ cuz u makin me speek lyk lolcat in teh furst place – u shud take responsbiliteh fur ur actions! Feels weerd nut to speek in propa gramma and language but iz so much moar lolzsum to speek in lolkitteh.
I has to do ingleesh corsewurk nao so I mus rite in ingleesh or wil failz GCSEs an becum a lowly trashcat ): NO OFFENCES TRASHCAT!
All I haz to say is kthxbai nao an fank yoo verii much fur bringin lolkitteh to the lives of us!
i is noob wif da lolspeek but i can be thanking you for da tutorial uf da awsomez!!!!!!!!!
xan sum2 leet i knew wot des toureal iz fur!
thz for da tutorial. it beez vary halpful.
-Raven da Lolkat
Butchered English. Fun, but dangerous when misused.
Pargraf in step 5 make Anner the sads
Much questions: What is BBQ, as in ftwbbq? I unnerstan bar-be-que, so ftwbbq meens for to win (is big good thing) an wit bbq is reeeeely beeg good thin???
kthksbaibai
As far as I undertand it, [lolspeakwurd]bbq is just adding to the lolspeakfunness, such as: “omg!!! dats teh funniest lolcat cap evar wuts in his mouf omgwtfbbq!”
Dis bez hrder thn it lookz .kthnxbai
That wut mai dotter sayz aboout bbq, 2. Mus B rite.
Kthxbai.
lolspeeg is the muchfer waited hip cuzn of zharspeeg. saboot time, mclovin! unfork forda restadem.
luvzhar.
Would “Hello, call me Ellie.” be translated to
“Helloz, me callez Ellie and I likez cheeze!”